Ramblin' time...
So, I think it's safe to say that I didn't get the position at the homebuilder's company. I haven't heard anything from them since I interviewed with them. Though they were looking more for of a receptionist kind of person anyway. And I'm alright with data entry and everything else, except when it comes to the phone part. Like I've mentioned in previous posts about when I had a receptionist job through the temp agency in Cali; my short term memory becomes a helluva lot shorter. Therefore, let that position go to someone more deserving of it, I suppose.
However, I did finally learn that I was accepted into the management training program with Lowe's. So, there's some good news. I'll get my book Monday and the training starts the 16th of this month. I'm not sure what will happen after the training. If I'll get a department management position in this current store or if I'll be transferred to a different one. I don't even know what department I'll be in charge of. So long as I'm off the front end, that's all that will make me that much happier.
Oye, there were two things that my store manager had to correct me on Tuesday. Seems kind of like a bad thing considering that it was decided that I could move up into a management position? Anyway, I learned that you're actually not allowed to ask how old someone is before they apply. I made the mistake of asking someone that, because to me, he looked like he might've been younger than eighteen. Which is how old you have to be to work at Lowe's. I was told that I'm not allowed to ask someone's age because it's discrimination. Oops. Sad thing is, I knew that fact. It was just in the back of my mind, because so many other people asked my sister to make sure she was 18 before they gave her an application.
The second thing that night he 'corrected' me on was the fact that I had closed down all the registers but one. It was 9:30pm the store was closed for half an hour, but there were still customers in the store apparently. We had a code 3, and there were no more open registers. I felt good, because for once I was fairly on time with getting the registers closed so we could move onto other closing tasks. But the fact that there were still too many customers in the store, and I closed down all the registers, I felt like an ass. Let me just say that I hoped that little incident didn't make him second guess allowing me to get in the management program. Well, I'm still only human. But go figure, with my luck the one night when I can get things going on time, I have something like that happen.
Speaking of luck, I seem to have the rotten part of it all. I mean, sure things could always be a helluva lot worse than the way things are. I'm actually greatful that I have what I do have; a decent job, loving family and friends. I just hate this feeling of emptiness inside. A void that I long to fill, but I just can't seem to. Believe me, I am ready to move on. But therein lies the problem. There is no one to move on with, well, not with anyone I feel I could. I know of a few whom have crushes on me, but I just don't feel the same way they do. That makes me feel bad, because I used to be that person. The one who had the crush, but the crush didn't like back.
I've actually developed a crush here and there recently. But even those feelings have faded. I just don't see a future with them, and thus not worth letting those feelings linger. There are at times where I feel disgust with those feelings, yet I don't understand why. I do know one thing. I've become a helluva lot pickier since being with my ex. There's no fucking way I'm going to force my feelings for anyone, try to make them happy or settle for anyone. If it was meant to be, then things would fall into place naturally. I know my ex wasn't the one, or else we'd still be together. I'm fully aware of that, and there is no way he'd be anywhere compareable to the man I'm supposed to be with. I was just too blind with false hope and superficial love to realize that he wasn't meant for me. I don't know where this man is. Maybe I'll find him one day, maybe I won't. I can only dream and hope. Other than that it is where the hand of fate shall play its game. It is up to that and God when and if that day will come, where I will find the man I'm meant to be with.
Until that day comes I'll just learn to enjoy those lonely days with friends and family. It is unfortunate, that I feel that I don't have true happiness when I'm not with someone. But, I didn't have true happiness with my ex, so one would think that would be, yet, another lesson learned. Being happy because of oneself, is only how one could expect to ever accomplish true happiness. I'll have to keep that in mind.
However, I did finally learn that I was accepted into the management training program with Lowe's. So, there's some good news. I'll get my book Monday and the training starts the 16th of this month. I'm not sure what will happen after the training. If I'll get a department management position in this current store or if I'll be transferred to a different one. I don't even know what department I'll be in charge of. So long as I'm off the front end, that's all that will make me that much happier.
Oye, there were two things that my store manager had to correct me on Tuesday. Seems kind of like a bad thing considering that it was decided that I could move up into a management position? Anyway, I learned that you're actually not allowed to ask how old someone is before they apply. I made the mistake of asking someone that, because to me, he looked like he might've been younger than eighteen. Which is how old you have to be to work at Lowe's. I was told that I'm not allowed to ask someone's age because it's discrimination. Oops. Sad thing is, I knew that fact. It was just in the back of my mind, because so many other people asked my sister to make sure she was 18 before they gave her an application.
The second thing that night he 'corrected' me on was the fact that I had closed down all the registers but one. It was 9:30pm the store was closed for half an hour, but there were still customers in the store apparently. We had a code 3, and there were no more open registers. I felt good, because for once I was fairly on time with getting the registers closed so we could move onto other closing tasks. But the fact that there were still too many customers in the store, and I closed down all the registers, I felt like an ass. Let me just say that I hoped that little incident didn't make him second guess allowing me to get in the management program. Well, I'm still only human. But go figure, with my luck the one night when I can get things going on time, I have something like that happen.
Speaking of luck, I seem to have the rotten part of it all. I mean, sure things could always be a helluva lot worse than the way things are. I'm actually greatful that I have what I do have; a decent job, loving family and friends. I just hate this feeling of emptiness inside. A void that I long to fill, but I just can't seem to. Believe me, I am ready to move on. But therein lies the problem. There is no one to move on with, well, not with anyone I feel I could. I know of a few whom have crushes on me, but I just don't feel the same way they do. That makes me feel bad, because I used to be that person. The one who had the crush, but the crush didn't like back.
I've actually developed a crush here and there recently. But even those feelings have faded. I just don't see a future with them, and thus not worth letting those feelings linger. There are at times where I feel disgust with those feelings, yet I don't understand why. I do know one thing. I've become a helluva lot pickier since being with my ex. There's no fucking way I'm going to force my feelings for anyone, try to make them happy or settle for anyone. If it was meant to be, then things would fall into place naturally. I know my ex wasn't the one, or else we'd still be together. I'm fully aware of that, and there is no way he'd be anywhere compareable to the man I'm supposed to be with. I was just too blind with false hope and superficial love to realize that he wasn't meant for me. I don't know where this man is. Maybe I'll find him one day, maybe I won't. I can only dream and hope. Other than that it is where the hand of fate shall play its game. It is up to that and God when and if that day will come, where I will find the man I'm meant to be with.
Until that day comes I'll just learn to enjoy those lonely days with friends and family. It is unfortunate, that I feel that I don't have true happiness when I'm not with someone. But, I didn't have true happiness with my ex, so one would think that would be, yet, another lesson learned. Being happy because of oneself, is only how one could expect to ever accomplish true happiness. I'll have to keep that in mind.