alright... here we go.
universitys, universitys, universitys.
I think I am going to goto U of Guelph. I might apply to another university in BC next year, again... but right now, I don't think I can goto BC. Yes, I did get the letter from UBC... and it kills me to set it down, but I am going to live with my sister and work out there in the summer. I also would like to goto Australia for a year, which I can do by going to Guelph, and take one year in another country. That would be rockin'.
I'm in deep deep deep trouble. I really really really hurt Marija. I didn't mean to. Okay, let's start from the beginning. A long time ago, I had a crush on a boy named James. Now, James is a pretty wicked person, we always got along. A few years ago I asked him to semi formal, "as a friend" because I was shy, and didn't feel like getting shot down. He agreeded, I found out much later that he liked me as well, but due to "as a friend"... he was very confused, and we didn't really talk. Needless to say, I was a little bummed, and Marija, a good friend sarted to have a thing for him. I backed off, they dated... for 1 1/2 years. Yikes! Well, it's grade 12 now, and I hung out with James, started to develop feelings for him again. Uh oh. I kept my distance, and I figured all was okay. I'd just have to suck it up.
Anyway, a couple nights later, Marija invited me to go out with them to a movie, I brought my cousin along, and they really didn't seem to be talking... no wait, they DIDNT talk, at all. It was tres strange. I thought nothing of it, and just went quiet for the rest of the night.
They broke up that night, Marija called me the next day. It was horrid. Turns out though, that they hadn't been getting along at all, for a few weeks now. Very shitty situation, but I guess it happens. She told him she didn't want it to be a break up, get back together thing, and James completely agreed. For the most part, it was mutual.
Sometime during the period, a few days after they broke up, Emily mentioned that Marija had said in class that I should go with James to prom, since I used to like him, and that we would be "good". I thought that a little strange, but I didn't bring it up. It did however, give me the impression, that stuff was pretty much over.
About a week later, I was supposed to hang out with Jen and Marija and James. Marija and James still wanted to be friends, so that was really cool. Marija didn't make it to Jen's house, and something else happened, so me and James just ended up relaxing and watching Elephant. I was exhausted after Rugby anyway, so it was nice to just relax. We talked a bit, about what had happened between them... and he kinda told me that he had feelings for me. I told him that I did as well, but you know, Marija was still feeling a little shitty.
I ended up talking to Marija a couple days ago, I told her that I liked him. She told me that of course she wasn't going to be completely okay with it, but that she was happy, told me that I should talk to him about it (I told her I already did, and that he felt the same way). She said that it would help her get over him... and I was pretty confident that although she was obviously going to be a little sad, that she WASN'T angry...
Now, James and I have always been really good friends. So we still talked at school, but nothing changed. We didn't hold hands, or anything in front of ANYONE, because it was still a little wierd where everything stood. Yea, we liked each other, but we never showed it in public. One day, at lunch, I happened to be sitting beside James (I always eat with Gin, James, Emily, Liam, and Paul). Marija decided to eat with us. We went to go study for some stupid chemistry contest, and she said that it was awkward that we were sitting together. I was mightily confused since I had my head in a book the entire time studying, and barely said a word to anyone. I wasn't snuggled up to James or anything either.
I let that one go. Then, Marija called James, and James told her that we were seeing each other (he told her he would let her know if anything happened). I guess Marija was pretty upset, since I overheard her talking about it with people at the hawaiian party today, and she came and talked to me. I honestly had no idea what to say, except that I felt like shit. I thought when I told her what happened, that she knew we were seeing each other. I'm not sure what to say or do anymore at this point in time.
And here I sit, feeling pretty damn shitty that she's feeling shitty, but not knowing what to do about it. I can't get into her head anymore either, since we stopped being really close a while ago.
Oh I don't know.
<3 Anna.
I think I am going to goto U of Guelph. I might apply to another university in BC next year, again... but right now, I don't think I can goto BC. Yes, I did get the letter from UBC... and it kills me to set it down, but I am going to live with my sister and work out there in the summer. I also would like to goto Australia for a year, which I can do by going to Guelph, and take one year in another country. That would be rockin'.
I'm in deep deep deep trouble. I really really really hurt Marija. I didn't mean to. Okay, let's start from the beginning. A long time ago, I had a crush on a boy named James. Now, James is a pretty wicked person, we always got along. A few years ago I asked him to semi formal, "as a friend" because I was shy, and didn't feel like getting shot down. He agreeded, I found out much later that he liked me as well, but due to "as a friend"... he was very confused, and we didn't really talk. Needless to say, I was a little bummed, and Marija, a good friend sarted to have a thing for him. I backed off, they dated... for 1 1/2 years. Yikes! Well, it's grade 12 now, and I hung out with James, started to develop feelings for him again. Uh oh. I kept my distance, and I figured all was okay. I'd just have to suck it up.
Anyway, a couple nights later, Marija invited me to go out with them to a movie, I brought my cousin along, and they really didn't seem to be talking... no wait, they DIDNT talk, at all. It was tres strange. I thought nothing of it, and just went quiet for the rest of the night.
They broke up that night, Marija called me the next day. It was horrid. Turns out though, that they hadn't been getting along at all, for a few weeks now. Very shitty situation, but I guess it happens. She told him she didn't want it to be a break up, get back together thing, and James completely agreed. For the most part, it was mutual.
Sometime during the period, a few days after they broke up, Emily mentioned that Marija had said in class that I should go with James to prom, since I used to like him, and that we would be "good". I thought that a little strange, but I didn't bring it up. It did however, give me the impression, that stuff was pretty much over.
About a week later, I was supposed to hang out with Jen and Marija and James. Marija and James still wanted to be friends, so that was really cool. Marija didn't make it to Jen's house, and something else happened, so me and James just ended up relaxing and watching Elephant. I was exhausted after Rugby anyway, so it was nice to just relax. We talked a bit, about what had happened between them... and he kinda told me that he had feelings for me. I told him that I did as well, but you know, Marija was still feeling a little shitty.
I ended up talking to Marija a couple days ago, I told her that I liked him. She told me that of course she wasn't going to be completely okay with it, but that she was happy, told me that I should talk to him about it (I told her I already did, and that he felt the same way). She said that it would help her get over him... and I was pretty confident that although she was obviously going to be a little sad, that she WASN'T angry...
Now, James and I have always been really good friends. So we still talked at school, but nothing changed. We didn't hold hands, or anything in front of ANYONE, because it was still a little wierd where everything stood. Yea, we liked each other, but we never showed it in public. One day, at lunch, I happened to be sitting beside James (I always eat with Gin, James, Emily, Liam, and Paul). Marija decided to eat with us. We went to go study for some stupid chemistry contest, and she said that it was awkward that we were sitting together. I was mightily confused since I had my head in a book the entire time studying, and barely said a word to anyone. I wasn't snuggled up to James or anything either.
I let that one go. Then, Marija called James, and James told her that we were seeing each other (he told her he would let her know if anything happened). I guess Marija was pretty upset, since I overheard her talking about it with people at the hawaiian party today, and she came and talked to me. I honestly had no idea what to say, except that I felt like shit. I thought when I told her what happened, that she knew we were seeing each other. I'm not sure what to say or do anymore at this point in time.
And here I sit, feeling pretty damn shitty that she's feeling shitty, but not knowing what to do about it. I can't get into her head anymore either, since we stopped being really close a while ago.
Oh I don't know.
<3 Anna.