They Did What?
Title: They Did What?
Rating: PG-13
Length: 650 words
First posted: 18th June 2008, in lazy_neutrino's journal
Summary: Avery attends a Death Eater meeting and discovers that the Order have inspired the Dark Lord's latest plan ...
Notes: A fairly crackish gift ficlet originally for lazy_neutrino's birthday, riffing off JKR's postcard fic. :)
"They did what?"
Avery glared at his laughing colleague in a way that said that although looks couldn't kill -- yet -- he intended to work on it. "Shut it, Wilkes! It's not funny."
"Oh, it is. It's the funniest thing I've heard since old Bobo Belby Transfigured himself into a hamster by mistake and got eaten by his own Kneazle. And if the Dark Lord asks what happened, it'll be absolutely hysterical."
"Yeah, well, I'm not stupid enough to tell him. It's not like we were sent after them or anything, it was pure chance we saw that bike!"
"What did you do with the Muggles?"
"Left them," said Avery with a touch of regret. "The Obliviators were bound to turn up. With any luck they'll haul in Black and Potter for doing magic in front of them."
"Well, that'll be a triumph to talk about tonight," muttered Wilkes with a snigger as they filed into the Lestrange house for the meeting. "Death Eaters. We can't actually kill the Order, but we can make sure they get a real smack on the wrist."
Any reply Avery might have been considering was stillborn at the gentle cough from the head of the table -- deliberately gentle, to send the message that ignoring it would have extremely painful consequences. "I am pleased to see so many of you here tonight," said the Dark Lord sibilantly (if that was a word). "So often, I find that some of you manage to miss or overlook my summons when I send for them. This must not become a habit."
Nobody spoke, although the lady of the house looked indignant on their lord's behalf.
The Dark Lord smiled, and Avery winced. That wasn't usually a good sign. "Perhaps we need a greater degree of -- what is that phrase the Quidditch players use? -- ah yes, team spirit. It has come to my attention that Dumbledore's little band in the Order of the Phoenix now have their own ... sign, shall we say?"
The Death Eaters looked confused. "My lord?" asked Malfoy hesitantly.
The Dark Lord's smile grew wider, which was definitely a very bad sign. "This, Lucius." He waved his wand with a lazy motion and a piece of fabric floated into the air from underneath the table -- a piece of fabric with a golden bird design on it that looked sickeningly familiar.
Avery swallowed hard, but his luck was in; the Dark Lord didn't seem to be referring to their earlier escapade. If he was very lucky, he might get through the meeting without having anything painful inflicted on him. "Is it not pretty? A way for the Order to recognise one another. Perhaps we need something of the sort."
It was Goyle who broke the stunned silence by asking the question. That wasn't unexpected, he was usually the only one stupid enough. "A Death Eater T-shirt, my lord? With our skull on it, you mean?"
"Don't be ridiculous," scoffed Crabbe, who had just sufficiently more brains than his friend to think of something really stupid to say. "That's far too Muggle. We'll be having our own robes!"
"We already have our own robes," pointed out Rookwood with a look of disgust. "And masks. That's the trouble, we can't wear them in public without those Ministry fools interfering."
"Oh, I quite agree," said the Dark Lord coldly. "One day soon that will change, but until then I think something a little more ... unobtrusive is necessary. Something that will also solve the communication problem that I have referred to."
Avery knew that his hopes of a pain-free evening were probably doomed when as the Dark Lord broke out into what might have been a grin, if his snakelike lips had still been capable of stretching that far without wand assistance. "What, my lord?" he found himself asking.
"I think the most suitable solution is a tattoo."
Rating: PG-13
Length: 650 words
First posted: 18th June 2008, in lazy_neutrino's journal
Summary: Avery attends a Death Eater meeting and discovers that the Order have inspired the Dark Lord's latest plan ...
Notes: A fairly crackish gift ficlet originally for lazy_neutrino's birthday, riffing off JKR's postcard fic. :)
"They did what?"
Avery glared at his laughing colleague in a way that said that although looks couldn't kill -- yet -- he intended to work on it. "Shut it, Wilkes! It's not funny."
"Oh, it is. It's the funniest thing I've heard since old Bobo Belby Transfigured himself into a hamster by mistake and got eaten by his own Kneazle. And if the Dark Lord asks what happened, it'll be absolutely hysterical."
"Yeah, well, I'm not stupid enough to tell him. It's not like we were sent after them or anything, it was pure chance we saw that bike!"
"What did you do with the Muggles?"
"Left them," said Avery with a touch of regret. "The Obliviators were bound to turn up. With any luck they'll haul in Black and Potter for doing magic in front of them."
"Well, that'll be a triumph to talk about tonight," muttered Wilkes with a snigger as they filed into the Lestrange house for the meeting. "Death Eaters. We can't actually kill the Order, but we can make sure they get a real smack on the wrist."
Any reply Avery might have been considering was stillborn at the gentle cough from the head of the table -- deliberately gentle, to send the message that ignoring it would have extremely painful consequences. "I am pleased to see so many of you here tonight," said the Dark Lord sibilantly (if that was a word). "So often, I find that some of you manage to miss or overlook my summons when I send for them. This must not become a habit."
Nobody spoke, although the lady of the house looked indignant on their lord's behalf.
The Dark Lord smiled, and Avery winced. That wasn't usually a good sign. "Perhaps we need a greater degree of -- what is that phrase the Quidditch players use? -- ah yes, team spirit. It has come to my attention that Dumbledore's little band in the Order of the Phoenix now have their own ... sign, shall we say?"
The Death Eaters looked confused. "My lord?" asked Malfoy hesitantly.
The Dark Lord's smile grew wider, which was definitely a very bad sign. "This, Lucius." He waved his wand with a lazy motion and a piece of fabric floated into the air from underneath the table -- a piece of fabric with a golden bird design on it that looked sickeningly familiar.
Avery swallowed hard, but his luck was in; the Dark Lord didn't seem to be referring to their earlier escapade. If he was very lucky, he might get through the meeting without having anything painful inflicted on him. "Is it not pretty? A way for the Order to recognise one another. Perhaps we need something of the sort."
It was Goyle who broke the stunned silence by asking the question. That wasn't unexpected, he was usually the only one stupid enough. "A Death Eater T-shirt, my lord? With our skull on it, you mean?"
"Don't be ridiculous," scoffed Crabbe, who had just sufficiently more brains than his friend to think of something really stupid to say. "That's far too Muggle. We'll be having our own robes!"
"We already have our own robes," pointed out Rookwood with a look of disgust. "And masks. That's the trouble, we can't wear them in public without those Ministry fools interfering."
"Oh, I quite agree," said the Dark Lord coldly. "One day soon that will change, but until then I think something a little more ... unobtrusive is necessary. Something that will also solve the communication problem that I have referred to."
Avery knew that his hopes of a pain-free evening were probably doomed when as the Dark Lord broke out into what might have been a grin, if his snakelike lips had still been capable of stretching that far without wand assistance. "What, my lord?" he found himself asking.
"I think the most suitable solution is a tattoo."