Lifes a Bowl of Cherries, but I HATE CHERRIES
As I'm sure you can tell by my lovely title, my optimism of the day has ebbed. Why? you ask. Well, I'll tell you.
Reasons Why Sarah's Optimism is in the Crapper
1. My grandmother was moved from the hospital to a nursing home, only to be moved BACK to the hopsital with even more infections. She's become a skeleton, and every time I visit her it gets harder, because it's as though she's a human skeleton lingering between life and death.
2. My grandmother's illness is taking a severe toll on my grandfather, who is nearly 80, and used to be one of the happiest, smiling nicest guys ever. In the past 4 months I've only seen him smile twice. He confessed to me that he's sad. Something he's enver done before.
3. My mother's leg is broken, and it's just the two of us, and suddenly I have to take the position of mother, father, and daughter into one person, and it's really hard to handle. It's really hard, and it's even harder to see my mom suffer.
4. My dad and I are getting along worse and worse. The only time we don't argue is when we don't speak. I stopped driving with him, because every time we got in the car he was bound to reduce me to tears. (A difficult feat.)
5. My grades...I can't fully study with all the stress that I've placed on myself, and everytime I'm doing one thing I'm worried about another, and I'll sit in school and think whether or not my mom has fallen, or my grandmother has worsened or my grandfather is ok. It's soo difficult.
6. I made a huge mistake doing something I didn't mean to do. I feel like a total bitch/slut, neither of which I am, but this cloud of guilt just hangs over me, and its like WTF??
7. One of my best friends in the whole wide world is truly lost, and it's so hard sitting on the sidelines and not be able to help her.
Please please please, this is not a plea for sympathy. I just needed to get all that crap out, b/c I'm sick of painting on a smile and going on with my happy day. Now I can paint on my smile, but at least you'll know it's painted.
Damn.. i could go for a chocolate cupcake w/ vanilla icing right now.
xoxo-Sar
Reasons Why Sarah's Optimism is in the Crapper
1. My grandmother was moved from the hospital to a nursing home, only to be moved BACK to the hopsital with even more infections. She's become a skeleton, and every time I visit her it gets harder, because it's as though she's a human skeleton lingering between life and death.
2. My grandmother's illness is taking a severe toll on my grandfather, who is nearly 80, and used to be one of the happiest, smiling nicest guys ever. In the past 4 months I've only seen him smile twice. He confessed to me that he's sad. Something he's enver done before.
3. My mother's leg is broken, and it's just the two of us, and suddenly I have to take the position of mother, father, and daughter into one person, and it's really hard to handle. It's really hard, and it's even harder to see my mom suffer.
4. My dad and I are getting along worse and worse. The only time we don't argue is when we don't speak. I stopped driving with him, because every time we got in the car he was bound to reduce me to tears. (A difficult feat.)
5. My grades...I can't fully study with all the stress that I've placed on myself, and everytime I'm doing one thing I'm worried about another, and I'll sit in school and think whether or not my mom has fallen, or my grandmother has worsened or my grandfather is ok. It's soo difficult.
6. I made a huge mistake doing something I didn't mean to do. I feel like a total bitch/slut, neither of which I am, but this cloud of guilt just hangs over me, and its like WTF??
7. One of my best friends in the whole wide world is truly lost, and it's so hard sitting on the sidelines and not be able to help her.
Please please please, this is not a plea for sympathy. I just needed to get all that crap out, b/c I'm sick of painting on a smile and going on with my happy day. Now I can paint on my smile, but at least you'll know it's painted.
Damn.. i could go for a chocolate cupcake w/ vanilla icing right now.
xoxo-Sar