English homework
I know this is long but please read this its my story for my english project I really want some feedback!!!!
"Best Friends" by Abbey Larson
The door screeched open; a chilling scream came from the shadows in the hallway. A scream so loud it shook the TV screen.
I reached down to grab the popcorn from the greasy bowl and the phone rang I shook with shock and came back to reality. I paused the movie and reached over to answer the obnoxious phone. I answered to a deep voice, sounded somewhere between seventeen and eighteen years old. I still get goose bumps when I remember the words that came out of his mouth. "Hi Roxy this is Danny from Sandie’s Surf Shop you should be happy to know that you got the job you interviewed for". I understood what he said but I was so excited that I had to repeat the words in my head ten times before I could respond. So after a long pause I said "When do I start"? He said "Saturday at 10:00am" I told him that I would be there and that he wouldn't be sorry. I hung up and before I knew it John, the kid that practically grew up with me was still infatuated with the movie. I sat next to him and stared at him until his green eyes met mine. "I got the job"! I screamed in his face! He jumped up from the couch and took my hands and pulled me up and squeezed me until I couldn't breathe. I got worried and asked him a bunch of questions "What if they don't like me? I’m not as pretty as the other girls. I don't know if I should do this John". He grabbed my delicate face and whispered in my ear, "You will do fine they will love you. You're the best at everything you tackle and you’re the prettiest girl that I have ever known. It’s not just your blonde hair, hazel eyes and your perfect tan. There is so much more to you then that. Your attitude, warm heart, beautiful soul and your stubbornness is what gets you far." At that moment I knew John wasn't just some little boy I knew all my life he was the best guy friend I ever had. He cared for me deeply almost like a big brother. A tear ran down my cheek, I wiped it off before he could see it. I told him that I had to do homework and he should probably get going. As his car pulled out of my driveway I realized that I never thought about John any more then a tall, brown haired seventeen year old guy. I knew we would always be good friends and that I could tell him anything but we probably would never be anything more then just best friends.
That week went by so fast, the next thing I knew it was Friday night and I was talking to my best friend Amy on the phone. She was my only close friend at school and at church. With both of us being blonde, we got made fun a lot by John who also went to church. This year would be our fifth year now of Amy and I being close friends. Whenever I needed advice I would call her. We aren’t very popular, but we have a lot in common. She knew I was psyched about my new job so we said goodnight early and I went to bed. I made sure I got up before 8:00am the next morning. I did the best I could with my clothes, hair and makeup. I grabbed my car keys and flew out the door. Every weekend since I could remember my mom would drive me down to Santa Monica pier for surfing lessons. The beach was like a second home to me. That all changed two years ago when I started going to high school. Now I don't have that pleasure of the beach as often as I like anymore. When I got my license I realized I needed money for car insurance, clothes, food and anything else I needed. I went job hunting the week after my sixteenth birthday. The one place that just opened up on Santa Monica pier was Sandie’s Surf Shop and they were right on the beach.
The moment I saw the place I knew it was where I wanted to apply first. Well I applied and got an interview and then the phone call.
I walked up to the surfboard entrance and the first thing I saw was an amazingly hot guy with sandy blonde hair, built body, and a surfboard in his arm. He approached me and said "Hi I’m Danny you must be Roxy the girl I talked to on the phone". The moment he said that I blinked twice and almost fainted this was the guy that called me? I knew I was blushing so I became embarrassed. He began showing me around the store and told me that I would be a cashier. Danny began training me how to work the register and the basic rules. I had a blast by the end of the day I was familiar with most of the employees. Danny walked me out to my car and told me I did a great job. With a gentle voice he asked he could go out sometime. My heart fluttered and I said “yeah, that would be fun”. I waved goodbye and drove away with a smile on my face. Sure enough that Saturday he called me and wanted to go out. We decided to meet at the movie theatre. I got all dolled up and drove to the movie theatre. I walked up to the ticket stand and waited in line. While I was digging in my purse to get the money I heard a voice say “its ok I got it”. I looked up and I saw Danny handing the clerk the money. I told him he didn’t have to buy my ticket and he insisted it was his treat. Danny was very: charming, funny, flirty, sweet, and also a gentleman. Basically everything I could hope for, at least it appeared that way. He took me out to dinner and during dessert asked me to be his girlfriend. I told him definitely and we began dating. I decided to wait a couple of months before telling Amy and John about our relationship. I thought that they might act different around me if I told them.
I told Amy and John about Danny on a Wednesday night. Amy was really excited for me but John was a different story. His face told it all it’s like a he put a barrier up and everyone new that something was wrong. I grabbed his arm and dragged him outside into the chilly air. I asked him what the big deal was and he replied, “You have only known Danny for a couple of months how do you know he won’t break your heart”? In my deepest of hearts I knew he was right but my mind was stubborn. I tensed up and said “How do you know, you haven’t even met him. In fact maybe you should then you’ll see how wrong you are.” With that I stomped off to the restroom knowing I hurt John and that he was probably right. That whole night John gave me the cold shoulder. This made me feel a lot worse. It got so bad that later that night Amy called me also upset about the whole situation. We talked for a long time and came to the conclusion that I needed to apologize to John. By that time it was too late for me to call him so I waited until the next day. I dialed his number and he didn’t answer so I left a message. “Hi John I know your hurt from last night and I’m really sorry and I didn’t mean the words I said. If you get a chance please drop by at my work so we can talk personally”. I hung up still feeling dissatisfied and drove to work. Danny was really happy to see me and I began working. Around 2:00 pm John walked into the surf shop and I took a break to talk to him. I walked up to him and before I knew it I felt a hand around my back and I turned around to Danny’s face. I asked him to please give us a moment he went back to work and I walked outside with John. John told me that he had something to tell me. I had no idea what he was going to say next so I braced myself for what was coming.
“Roxy I want you to know that I have always been here for you. We have been best friends since we were two years old. I have always looked at you more then just a friend. I have loved you since I could remember. Now you have a boyfriend that you say you love when you barely know him. It just hurts me to see you in a vulnerable situation where you could get really hurt. I just want you to know that no matter what happens that I will always love you”. I wasn’t ready for any of those words. All at once everything shut down in my head. With tears in his eyes he walked down the pier leaving me speechless. That didn’t help me one bit I still liked Danny a lot. I returned to the store. Danny was nowhere in sight. I began looking for him and I found him in the store room. Not by himself but with Jess the store manager. They were kissing!
I slapped him really hard grabbed my keys and ran down to my car. Danny chased me and stopped me before I could get in the car. He said “I’m so sorry please give me a second chance”. I didn’t want to hear it so I pushed him away and drove away. The only thing I heard was John’s words in my head. The tears burned my cheek. I ran up to my bedroom and slammed the door as hard as possible. My heart felt like it was ripped up in a million different ways.
After crying my eyes out I walked down the stairs to the kitchen. I was so dazed I didn’t see the dog toy in the middle of the stairs. I tripped and tumbled all the way down to the bottom. Everything went blank. When I woke up I didn’t know where I was. All I could hear was a voice then it came clear. “Roxy it’s me Danny wake up you’re at the hospital”. That was the last thing I wanted to hear and he was the last face I wanted to see. I asked him why and he said “You broke your leg and one of your ribs from the fall.” Everything was sinking in and at the moment I started feeling pain in my side. I screamed and the nurse came and told Danny I needed rest. He left and the nurse checked on me then left also. My parents came in and were really happy to see me awake. I answered some questions and went back to sleep. About an hour later I hear a knock on my door. I said “Come in”. It was Amy she ran to me and gave me a gentle hug. I talked to her about John and Danny. She told me that John waited up all night for me to wake up. I asked “Why isn’t he here now”? She replied “He went to get you flowers”. I told Amy I wanted to be alone for I knew what I had to do. I called for Danny and broke up with him. For I was in love with someone else. Danny was sad but not enough to cry. He said goodbye and left the hospital. I couldn’t wait to see John. An hour passed and there was no sign of John. Amy ran into my room with tears running down her face. I calmed her down and asked her why she was crying. Very shaky she replied “John got hit by a car on the way back from the flower shop and well… he didn’t make it”. My whole world shut down. That was the day I lost my best friend.