Maybe you can step inside
This is not a small cut that scabs
and dries and flakes and heals...
Would you be my little cut...
Love is not like anything
especially a fucking knife...
I have the worst headache and I was wondering why and then I remembered it's cuz I cried earlier. Why did I cry earlier??? Because Dima's ring fell off my finger at Shelly's house and broke in half and as it did so my heart did the same. Yes, I cried over Dima's broken ring. He gave it to me and I said I'd never take it off and it broke IN HALF. I could like kill myself I feel so alone... I'm a failure. I can't even keep a ring on my hand how sad is that. I called him as soon as it happened... He was out somewhere. There was lots of noise in the background. He was like "It's all good." but its NOT. It is to him but it's not to me because it actually means something to me, because he gave it to me. He put the ring down on my lap and said it was made out of stone and I looked at it and said "r u giving this to me?" and he looked at me and said "u want it?" and I nodded and smiled the way I only do with him and put it on my thumb and he said "u can keep it." and he gave me matching lil stone too... and i broke the ring because I'm a failure who can't do anything right :-(
That ring is only the beginning... a sign that my life shall further crumble that I- no matter how hard I try to fight am a slave to that which I hate most about myself- my emotions; I'll always be a hopeless ball of emotions deprioritizing only to prioritize again, letting go only to grab hold again and running forward only to look back and watch the past suck me in. I am alone. That is the truth, that no matter how many people are in my company I'm only me and alone. I can't hide from that nor can I run from it. I can only accept it. And eventually give in. I CANT BELEIVE I BROKE HIS FUCKING RING!!!! I'm so upset.
I'm a slave to a ♥ that won't let go