(no subject)
Buyers need only LAUGH; understanding is left to Engineers. Happiness is, as grades are, a factor of random events:
The following is supposedly an actual "Bonus Question" given on the San Jose State College chemistry mid-term.
The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor posted it on the class bulletin board, and we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question (here it is, such as it was, with the answer):
Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat), or, is Hell endothermic (absorbs heat)? Provide, also, one corollary.
Most of the students wrote proofs applying their beliefs, prejudices, and best guesses to Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands, and heats when it is compressed).
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, if we are to apply Boyle's Law, we need to know determine the mass of Hell is changing in time. This requires that we first determine the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and/or the rate at which they are leaving.
I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it does not leave. Therefore, we can safely postulate that no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at different Religions. Most, if not all, religions state that if you are not a member of the particular religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are many religions and since people do not belong to all of them, we can also postulate that all souls go to Hell, and considering current worldwide birth rates, we can extrapolate an exponential increase in the number of souls in Hell.
Now, let's consider the rate of change in the volume of Hell: Applying Boyle's Law, it can be determined that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives three possibilities:
A. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until:
1. Pressure and temperature will continue to build through eternity, in which cas hell is endothermic, or,
2. All Hell breaks loose (and by definition, breaks out), at which time the temperature will be the same as its surrounds, being therefore, NEITHER EXOTHERMIC, NOR endothermic.
B. Alternately
3. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop and keep dropping until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Becky, and Becky's best friend Teresa, during my fresh-man year at San Jose High that, " Hell would freeze-over before we sleep with you," and taking into account the fact that I have been sleeping with them, then number 2, above, must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already given-up all its heat and has frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore no longer functional, thus leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God." "Oh my God." "Oh my God."
(Becky only says "Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!)
Oh Yeah! The paper was graded with an A