ooooooooooook...
Ok, So, I'm sittin here, eatin oreo's and pudding, should be doing my homework, should be at greek sing practice, but ya know, I DON'T CARE. This has been a very crappy semester here. I have been stressed to the point of tears at LEAST once or twice a week, and have had a horrible time with all these daggon GIRLS! I mean, UGH! GIRLS!!!!!! Yes, I DO love my sisters... but they are girls. If I could do this WHOLE semester over again, I would in a heart beat and make it better than it has been. I would be a straight A student, I would NOT put up with crap, I would spend LOTS of time with Dusty, and I would get LOTS of sleep. But no, I'm a slacker, I'm a failure at everything, and I flat out am to the point of just not giving a damn anymore. That is SO NOT ME. When I got here, I was my bouncy, bubbly, bright perky self, full of energy, with a very bright outlooks on life. An now, look at me, misery, sadness, pain, stress, and GIRLS. I want my life back. I want to be ME again. GAH! I cried last night while I was talking to Dusty until 2:40AM. Then, I missed class again and cried to him for another few hours. My eyes were so puffy and I looked like CRAP. It's down to this, I know I only have 4 more weeks of classes left (THANK GOD) and I know I can survive. I feel like I'm lost in the darkness and just can't see but a faint glow, way off in the distance. I'm broke too. GAH! I hate money. I've been sick for the past week too. I was in bed asleep for 5 or 6 hours a day, felt like crap, didn't make it to class, nothing. Now here I am, trying my hardest to DO HOMEWORK... just shoot me in the head. Mmm...oreos and pudding... But yea, I slept forever today too. I don't know what's wrong with me. UGH! AAAAANNNNDDDD.... I can't fix something. You have any CLUE how much that just KILLS ME! :( JAKDBYATIUDOV&WTTDIOVWEYWIU!!!!!!!!! Yea, no words to explain that. It's down to this...KATIE IS GONNA MAKE KATIE HAPPY...screw everyone else for now. I have tried and tried and tried... now, I'm going to find ME again, get back to myself and make ME HAPPY! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Did I mention that oreos and pudding are good? Yea, this had all been building up for a while now and it just had to flow. I MISS MY BOYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LIKE SO BAAAAAAAAD!!!!!!!!! GAH! Why can't I be in a fraternity instead of a sorority?????? BLAH! >:[ GAAAAAAAAH! GRRRR!!!!!!!!! Why, Why do I put up with all this crap????? WHY???? Why must my first semester of college suck so much?!?!?! >:O
OK, now on a differnnt note, things with me and Dusty are close to perfect. I wish that I could see him more, wish that I could be ME to him more. I apologize constantly it seems for being so, not grumpy, but not bitchy either, I guess for being so... whiny??? I don't know. I feel like all he hears is bad stuff that's going on with me and it's so not fair to him. I almost feel sorry for him for having to be stuck with me, but he says that's what he's there for, to support and help me no matter what. Thank God for Dusty! :) Ok , so I just finished off the oreos and pudding... now time for DEW! Ahh, Much better! So where was I? OH! Dusty! My angel.I don't know what I would do without him sometimes. he's just always there. :-D I know for a fact that he is the first boyfriend I've had that has UNCONDITIONAL love for me. Nice huh? He is just so great. I could sit and talk about him all night and fill up 5 or 6 pages of my live journal, and it would all be about him. Speaking of which, I read My baby's LJ from way back when.... OH MY LORD... I guess he changed DRASTICALLY when I met him, cause he is NOTHIN like he was almost a year ago. Whew.... I dunno... I'm jusy glad I got him when I did, or else, who knows, he may have comitted suicide. :( EEEEEK. I dunno... Man... :(
Now, onto mt boys.... I MISS YOU LUKE AND MATT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok, I think I need to do homework...
Love you Dusty!
OK, now on a differnnt note, things with me and Dusty are close to perfect. I wish that I could see him more, wish that I could be ME to him more. I apologize constantly it seems for being so, not grumpy, but not bitchy either, I guess for being so... whiny??? I don't know. I feel like all he hears is bad stuff that's going on with me and it's so not fair to him. I almost feel sorry for him for having to be stuck with me, but he says that's what he's there for, to support and help me no matter what. Thank God for Dusty! :) Ok , so I just finished off the oreos and pudding... now time for DEW! Ahh, Much better! So where was I? OH! Dusty! My angel.I don't know what I would do without him sometimes. he's just always there. :-D I know for a fact that he is the first boyfriend I've had that has UNCONDITIONAL love for me. Nice huh? He is just so great. I could sit and talk about him all night and fill up 5 or 6 pages of my live journal, and it would all be about him. Speaking of which, I read My baby's LJ from way back when.... OH MY LORD... I guess he changed DRASTICALLY when I met him, cause he is NOTHIN like he was almost a year ago. Whew.... I dunno... I'm jusy glad I got him when I did, or else, who knows, he may have comitted suicide. :( EEEEEK. I dunno... Man... :(
Now, onto mt boys.... I MISS YOU LUKE AND MATT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok, I think I need to do homework...
Love you Dusty!