today
studied for forever...but i couldn't focus.
my mind was on all the people who have died lately.
i can't think about anything else. what were they thinking about before they died? when did they last talk to their families? were they at peace? did they die instantly without pain or were they lying there try to hold on to life until they no longer could?
it got me thinking...i hate the standards of our society. the idea that "you must succeed"....and in order to do that you must go to college and you must start your career and you must climb up the ladder. that's all a bunch of bull to me. every semester we students are stressing out over tests, papers, exams...not enough time for friends and family...i gotta save money, and study (don't get me wrong i love learning, but the need to prove that you know it all is what frustrates me). and really this idea of success doesn't make me happy. i'd be a lot more happy if i had some little job doing whatever and spent a majority of my time with my friends and family...or even just spending that time doing things for them...making gifts, writing cards, cooking, throwing get togethers. in the end i can't take and i wouldn't want to take my text books, my notes, or my career. i would want to take all the good times i had with the people i loved.
speaking of which...it is now final. today confirmed that i will be dropping my nursing course...and i've been informed that there might not be room for me next semester. yeah, societies standards make me feel like a failure and a good for nothing punk.
for forever...things have been crappy. i've been down because school makes me feel like i'm drowning, being so busy that my head feels like mush, and recently deaths.
so it seemed appropriate to do something that would brighten my spirits. so i saw andrew bird tonight with dori and devin. bird's flipping amazing and so is martin dosh. the music was perfect as was the company. and the whole experience would have perfect if it wasn't for the friggin' reefers. made the joint smell like butt crack and now i have a headache.
my mind was on all the people who have died lately.
i can't think about anything else. what were they thinking about before they died? when did they last talk to their families? were they at peace? did they die instantly without pain or were they lying there try to hold on to life until they no longer could?
it got me thinking...i hate the standards of our society. the idea that "you must succeed"....and in order to do that you must go to college and you must start your career and you must climb up the ladder. that's all a bunch of bull to me. every semester we students are stressing out over tests, papers, exams...not enough time for friends and family...i gotta save money, and study (don't get me wrong i love learning, but the need to prove that you know it all is what frustrates me). and really this idea of success doesn't make me happy. i'd be a lot more happy if i had some little job doing whatever and spent a majority of my time with my friends and family...or even just spending that time doing things for them...making gifts, writing cards, cooking, throwing get togethers. in the end i can't take and i wouldn't want to take my text books, my notes, or my career. i would want to take all the good times i had with the people i loved.
speaking of which...it is now final. today confirmed that i will be dropping my nursing course...and i've been informed that there might not be room for me next semester. yeah, societies standards make me feel like a failure and a good for nothing punk.
for forever...things have been crappy. i've been down because school makes me feel like i'm drowning, being so busy that my head feels like mush, and recently deaths.
so it seemed appropriate to do something that would brighten my spirits. so i saw andrew bird tonight with dori and devin. bird's flipping amazing and so is martin dosh. the music was perfect as was the company. and the whole experience would have perfect if it wasn't for the friggin' reefers. made the joint smell like butt crack and now i have a headache.