lots of shtuff...
i'm just going to rattle off all the crap that is on my mind...so if you're not interested don't read this.
it is clear that i have been afraid that i've lost my passion for nursing. but this is not true. i still want to be a nurse. everytime i see that helicopter taking off or landing at carle my heart jumps. the idea of saving someone at that critical moment can be scarey, but it can also be the best feeling there is. knowing that i've worked to learn how to save someone and putting that into practice. so i know the passion is still there.
so anyway. i have fears. this fear i had is a big one that is very complex. it continuously builds and dies down. so just when i'm comforted and that fear melts away...some jerk comes along and flairs it up again. but i'm not going to listen to you jerks and i'm going to try to be extremely cautious with what i say to my nursing peers, because we are in the same situation and i don't want to put fear in the hearts of my fellow students. i want to put hope in the hearts of others and show that i believe that everyone is able to be who they want to be.
it is also clear that i miss many things that are no longer in my life at this moment. there are many friends i miss...my custard cup posse...asb peoples....holly and dori...lynn...erica...gah, everyone! i hear about all these get-togethers my friends are having...and i am forever having to study. i miss good times. it seems a lot of people are having rough times and i can't be there for any of them. i feel like the biggest jerk...i don't have time to call you to ask how things are going for you...or write you a letter...or see you. i miss people being healthy, happy, getting along with eachother, spending time not worrying about time. i miss taking pictures. the first saturday that the cup is closed i plan to devote that day to roaming around and taking pictures of things that i want to take pictures of. not worrying about how others would critique it...just taking pictures. lots of them. i miss coaster trips. this summer was i amazing i was spoiled. and i had so much fun being with everyone on those trips this summer. i miss taking trips...planned ones and random ones. i want to visit everyone that is far away, but i know that can't happen. boo!
many very silly things have happened lately...sometimes i feel like my life should be a movie. you know that feeling? everyone should write those moments down, get together, and tell every one of those moments.
it is clear that i have been afraid that i've lost my passion for nursing. but this is not true. i still want to be a nurse. everytime i see that helicopter taking off or landing at carle my heart jumps. the idea of saving someone at that critical moment can be scarey, but it can also be the best feeling there is. knowing that i've worked to learn how to save someone and putting that into practice. so i know the passion is still there.
so anyway. i have fears. this fear i had is a big one that is very complex. it continuously builds and dies down. so just when i'm comforted and that fear melts away...some jerk comes along and flairs it up again. but i'm not going to listen to you jerks and i'm going to try to be extremely cautious with what i say to my nursing peers, because we are in the same situation and i don't want to put fear in the hearts of my fellow students. i want to put hope in the hearts of others and show that i believe that everyone is able to be who they want to be.
it is also clear that i miss many things that are no longer in my life at this moment. there are many friends i miss...my custard cup posse...asb peoples....holly and dori...lynn...erica...gah, everyone! i hear about all these get-togethers my friends are having...and i am forever having to study. i miss good times. it seems a lot of people are having rough times and i can't be there for any of them. i feel like the biggest jerk...i don't have time to call you to ask how things are going for you...or write you a letter...or see you. i miss people being healthy, happy, getting along with eachother, spending time not worrying about time. i miss taking pictures. the first saturday that the cup is closed i plan to devote that day to roaming around and taking pictures of things that i want to take pictures of. not worrying about how others would critique it...just taking pictures. lots of them. i miss coaster trips. this summer was i amazing i was spoiled. and i had so much fun being with everyone on those trips this summer. i miss taking trips...planned ones and random ones. i want to visit everyone that is far away, but i know that can't happen. boo!
many very silly things have happened lately...sometimes i feel like my life should be a movie. you know that feeling? everyone should write those moments down, get together, and tell every one of those moments.