you know i have no vacancy
Everything evolves. You see it in nature, most obviously, but socially and mentally, as well. I'm evolving daily. This i've seen since I made the decision to do something to get kicked out of my parents house, a rough and spontaneous choice but one that, in the end, was healthier for me. I see this as I keep a steady job, which I feel secure at. I see this as I realize the truth of how mine and Douche's friendship was very passive-aggressive on my part. I've learned much about life, existence, etc. in a very short time. At times, yes, it's overwhelming. Satisfaction, though, and pride are beginning to replace my old consistently dwelling demons of insecurity, uncertainty, loneliness. Ani helps. I refer to her so often because, at the moment, she is the driving force in my evolution. Her music, that is. Her words reach so deeply, both those political and emotional, and they make day-to-day life easier. She reminds me that strength comes from inside, not from the people that surround you. She affirms my beliefs, my ethics, my morals. Chris saw me as a fanboy. It's much more than that.
I'm at a new friend's house. His name is, well, also Chris. He's completely different than what i'm used to: kids. Hell, i'm a kid. Borderline adult, this only from seeing how I grow daily, but still a kid. I'm beginning to notice something about the age group i've surrounded myself by in the last few years. I see my old self in them, I hear my words, relate to their rebellious attitude because I once had it. My rebellion has calmed. I'm becoming jaded. Yet, less motivated by negativity. Moreso, experience. I know one day i'll look back on how I am at this very moment and recognize, still my naivety, my ignorance. Yet I feel privileged that I can now do the same on my past few years.
Basically, i'm at the threshold. Change is coming. It's been here, but it's accelerating, and this makes me smile.
" + I am trying to e - VOLVE"
I'm at a new friend's house. His name is, well, also Chris. He's completely different than what i'm used to: kids. Hell, i'm a kid. Borderline adult, this only from seeing how I grow daily, but still a kid. I'm beginning to notice something about the age group i've surrounded myself by in the last few years. I see my old self in them, I hear my words, relate to their rebellious attitude because I once had it. My rebellion has calmed. I'm becoming jaded. Yet, less motivated by negativity. Moreso, experience. I know one day i'll look back on how I am at this very moment and recognize, still my naivety, my ignorance. Yet I feel privileged that I can now do the same on my past few years.
Basically, i'm at the threshold. Change is coming. It's been here, but it's accelerating, and this makes me smile.
" + I am trying to e - VOLVE"