Lost Property.

[thetrousersnake]

Did one of you post this rat through my door last night? I found it burrowing in my underpants, with a note attached to its tail reading "CONSIDERABLY BETTER LOOKING THAN YOU, SNIVELLUS. AHAHA". Thought it might sound familiar.

It's dead now. It head-butted my shovel. Four times. Thought you'd like to know.

Comments

[ihavebigprongs]

OH MY GOD. OHHHHH MY GODDDDDDDDD.

YOU, DIDN'T.

[thetrousersnake]

Something amiss, Potter?

Your own bloody fault. And it's only a stupid rat.

[ihavebigprongs]

IT'S NOT JUST A STUPID RAT.

IT'S MY BEST FRIEND.

I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU.

[thetrousersnake]

Pretty fucking rubbish best friend, a sewer dweller.

It's gone to a better place I'm sure.

[moopylunin]

...

Bu-

Y-

TO THINK I LET YOU IN MY TREEHOUSE.

[thetrousersnake]

Fuck off. For someone who seemed to show so much potential you went crawling back to your lap dog fairly quickly.

Besides. It's only a rat. What's the big deal!?

[moopylunin]

What! It's not as if you like me anyway. You were drunk.

I- er, I'm an RSPCA volunteer in my spare time.

[thetrousersnake]

Good for you, working within your comfort zone like that. I like it. Ten out of ten, Lupin, for being an utter twunt.

And that's rather fitting for someone who likes biting the heads off of sheep once every month.

It's still only a bloody rat!