Lost Loves
Today I went and saw two of the best men in the world. I took my time with each one, as I usually do. The second one was still as hard as the day we laid him there. Even though I've visited him many times this summer, every time I see his name on that headstone I can't believe it.
But my visits today got me to thinking. I know what you're thinking now, and yes, it's probably not a good thing.
We've all heard the line about "it's better to have loved and lost..." We've also heard the argument of why it is better than not loving at all. And for the most part I agree. With each lost love, we grow, learn, and more often than not, we become a slightly different person. And it really doesn't matter how we lost these loves, we still get something out of everything we experienced. But then there is the point when you get tired of loving and losing. You get to the point where you just don't feel like loving anymore because it causes so much pain each day. And I'm not talking about just lovers, but parents, friends, and any other close person to you. Everyone has his breaking point, some are higher than others, some can endure so much and still seem amazingly composed, relaxed, and put together. Others wear every emotion on the sleeve, and you can tell just by the expression on their faces that they aren't doing well.
But what makes this all okay? What makes it worth loving and losing? What makes it worth putting your heart and soul on the line with the risk that anything and everything could be taken from you at any moment? Perhaps it's for the memories, the lessons, and the experiences. And even if these lost loves only touched our lives for a few moments in our lives, at least they touched them. No matter who they are, or who they were to us, they each left a little something behind as they left, however they left. And hopefully, each time we think of them, we can smile at the good times we had with them. And as for the bad, hopefully we learn and grow from them.
Dad,
You taught me so much. I don't know where to begin or even how to end. But if I haven't said it before, thank you. Thank you for your patience, your love, and your confidence in me. Without you, I would not be where I am today. You always believed in me, even when I was as my lowest. I love you.
Zach,
You were the guy that came back to me when I needed it the most. We rekindled the fire when I needed it most, and you always knew what and when to say it. If you didn't know it before, you reentered my life at the right time. I might have lost the most important love of my life, but I regained one of the best friendships I have ever known. You helped me through the rough spot when I lost my dad, and I only wish I had told you sooner how much that meant to me. Thank you for being the amazing guy I always knew you to be. I miss you and think of you often.
Every relationship we have teaches us things, even if we don't want to admit it. I know I've learned so much from the relationships I have now. And this summer, I've learned a lot about what I want out of life, and amazingly it's nothing I thought it would be. But I'll save that for another night.
But my visits today got me to thinking. I know what you're thinking now, and yes, it's probably not a good thing.
We've all heard the line about "it's better to have loved and lost..." We've also heard the argument of why it is better than not loving at all. And for the most part I agree. With each lost love, we grow, learn, and more often than not, we become a slightly different person. And it really doesn't matter how we lost these loves, we still get something out of everything we experienced. But then there is the point when you get tired of loving and losing. You get to the point where you just don't feel like loving anymore because it causes so much pain each day. And I'm not talking about just lovers, but parents, friends, and any other close person to you. Everyone has his breaking point, some are higher than others, some can endure so much and still seem amazingly composed, relaxed, and put together. Others wear every emotion on the sleeve, and you can tell just by the expression on their faces that they aren't doing well.
But what makes this all okay? What makes it worth loving and losing? What makes it worth putting your heart and soul on the line with the risk that anything and everything could be taken from you at any moment? Perhaps it's for the memories, the lessons, and the experiences. And even if these lost loves only touched our lives for a few moments in our lives, at least they touched them. No matter who they are, or who they were to us, they each left a little something behind as they left, however they left. And hopefully, each time we think of them, we can smile at the good times we had with them. And as for the bad, hopefully we learn and grow from them.
Dad,
You taught me so much. I don't know where to begin or even how to end. But if I haven't said it before, thank you. Thank you for your patience, your love, and your confidence in me. Without you, I would not be where I am today. You always believed in me, even when I was as my lowest. I love you.
Zach,
You were the guy that came back to me when I needed it the most. We rekindled the fire when I needed it most, and you always knew what and when to say it. If you didn't know it before, you reentered my life at the right time. I might have lost the most important love of my life, but I regained one of the best friendships I have ever known. You helped me through the rough spot when I lost my dad, and I only wish I had told you sooner how much that meant to me. Thank you for being the amazing guy I always knew you to be. I miss you and think of you often.
Every relationship we have teaches us things, even if we don't want to admit it. I know I've learned so much from the relationships I have now. And this summer, I've learned a lot about what I want out of life, and amazingly it's nothing I thought it would be. But I'll save that for another night.