play
opens on a high school stage with two fold-out metal chairs--spotlit, placed about six feet apart, and facing the audience--in which the protagonists sit and “type” out their responses on laughably student-made cardboard “laptops.” the lines are projected onto the back of the stage as well as said aloud. bonus points for set design that replicates the 80s loser feel of “napoleon dynamite.”
Act I: i bristle after marcus insults me heavily for laughing too disproportionately much at something he said (so on-line that would be: “hahahahahahahahahaha”)
Twotoo13 (1:42:16 PM): don't get your knickers in a bunch
Twotoo13 (1:42:23 PM): i'm laughing with you
boyblue341 (1:43:35 PM): hah you said knickers
boyblue341 (1:43:37 PM): what a loser
Twotoo13 (1:43:53 PM): what is wrong with you?
Twotoo13 (1:44:03 PM): this is how it should normally go
Twotoo13 (1:44:09 PM): A person: blablbla
Twotoo13 (1:44:12 PM): B person: blablabla
Twotoo13 (1:44:17 PM): and on and on like that
boyblue341 (1:44:25 PM): i thought it would go more like this
Twotoo13 (1:44:25 PM): this is how it goes w/ you:
boyblue341 (1:44:27 PM): INSULT
Twotoo13 (1:44:30 PM): A person: blabla
boyblue341 (1:44:32 PM): RETORT
Twotoo13 (1:44:34 PM): B person: i. hate. you.
boyblue341 (1:44:35 PM): COUNTER RETORT
Twotoo13 (1:44:39 PM): blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
boyblue341 (1:45:10 PM): QUESTIONING OF SEXUAL PREFERENCE
boyblue341 (1:45:16 PM): SUGGESTION TO STFU
Twotoo13 (1:45:21 PM): oh, i already know your sexual preference
boyblue341 (1:45:23 PM): RIPOSTE
boyblue341 (1:45:25 PM): ADDON RIPOSTE
boyblue341 (1:45:28 PM): COUNTER-RIPOSTE
boyblue341 (1:45:33 PM): COUNTER-COUNTER RIPOSTE
boyblue341 (1:45:40 PM): NONSENSICAL STATEMENT INVOLVING PLANKTON
boyblue341 (1:45:48 PM): WORD OF PRAISE FOR FISHFOOD
boyblue341 (1:45:54 PM): ACKNOWLEDGEMENT AND ACCEPTANCE OF TERMS
boyblue341 (1:45:59 PM): thats how i think it should go
Twotoo13 (1:46:59 PM): except not
Twotoo13 (1:47:05 PM): b/c if we were talking like that in person
Twotoo13 (1:47:09 PM): i would shove you under a bus
Twotoo13 (1:47:12 PM): full of fat people
boyblue341 (1:48:34 PM): lol
Act II: it is later. (passage of time can be represented by prop person walking across stage with cardboard caption card.) i inquire if marcus has heard of a certain television show, and if so, what has he heard about it.
boyblue341 (4:11:42 PM): yea
boyblue341 (4:11:47 PM): weird show
Twotoo13 (4:11:51 PM): what is it?
boyblue341 (4:12:57 PM): a weird show
boyblue341 (4:12:58 PM): duh
boyblue341 (4:12:59 PM): jeez
boyblue341 (4:13:01 PM): never pay attention
Twotoo13 (4:14:54 PM): oh!
Twotoo13 (4:14:58 PM): *smacks forehead*
Twotoo13 (4:15:01 PM): i get it now
Twotoo13 (4:15:09 PM): just had to get those twin frequencies going again
boyblue341 (4:15:11 PM): *throws you under bus of fat people*
Act III: later still (apply caption card as needed), marcus has tired of the things that i blather about and has decided to get my priorities in order.
boyblue341 (4:31:39 PM): H's Priority List:
boyblue341 (4:31:45 PM): 1 - Get a life
boyblue341 (4:31:49 PM): 2 - Get a job
boyblue341 (4:31:54 PM): 3 - Stop annoying Marcus
Twotoo13 (4:32:06 PM): aha! so stop annoying is just #3
Twotoo13 (4:32:09 PM): i can worry about it later
boyblue341 (4:32:17 PM): Yeah cause you need to worry about getting a life
boyblue341 (4:32:17 PM): loser
boyblue341 (4:32:29 PM): *shoves you under boat full of fat people*
Twotoo13 (4:32:31 PM): hahahaha
Twotoo13 (4:32:34 PM): that makes no sense
Twotoo13 (4:32:36 PM): i can swim!
Twotoo13 (4:32:43 PM): i'm a bucket of ice water!
boyblue341 (4:32:46 PM): lol
Twotoo13 (4:32:46 PM): twinzzz power
boyblue341 (4:32:55 PM): I'm a dragon!
Twotoo13 (4:33:04 PM): i'm a tiger!
Twotoo13 (4:33:11 PM): no, i'm a dragon!
Twotoo13 (4:33:17 PM): you're a bucket of ice water!
boyblue341 (4:33:40 PM): the wonder twins are wrong
~