Its not easy being green...

[snicklesmits]

I've really been questioning myself lately... I hate to talk more about guys, because it seems like sometimes thats all I do. Yes, I do talk about it a lot, but its something that really bothers me. Not just guys, but how I interact with guys, and even moreso, why I have a sort of dependence on them.
Ever since Josh and I broke up I've really been missing the companionship, just the security in knowing that someones always going to be there and that you have someone to cuddle with when things arent going well, a partner in crime, and someone to share in your joys. I just want that back so badly, not with josh, but really with anyone. I try to pour myself into my friendships, and while my friends are amazing people and do so much for me, I cant stop this nagging feeling that somethings missing. Karon and I talked about it a few weeks back that there are just somethings that friends cannot provide, and I am really missing that feeling. I just am searching so hard for someone to make me feel like i did before that its really starting to scare me. Like that I havent felt normal lately, just has me wondering if I'm making myself happy with someone else, like that I cannot be happy on my own