i hate being lonely : (
i feel so lonely n unwanted, not entirely sure why...but i deff do. i miss holding onto a girl that i care about n cares about me back so much, its tearing me apart, i want it not 2 bother me, but it does so terribly much...i miss having stupid fun, i feel like i miss things n that i'm 2 busy 2 do things that i reli want, cuz my life is on a first come first serve basis, n i hate it, i just wish i could b an asshole sumtimes n ditch ppl but i cant, cuz i'm 2 nice...i dont even kno y i wanna ditch ppl sumtimes, i love every last 1 of my friends, but i feel like i dont c all of them enuff, like my time needs 2 b spread out more evenly....n 2 make it worse, i have a guitar string broken on my guitar n i dont even have time 2 go out n buy a new 1 2 replace it, which means no way of getting out my excess anger n depression, so its building up like crazy...but was over annas 2day n got 2 play her acoustic guitar, which is like double the therapy, made me feel better 4 a while...i miss so many of my friends cuz i havent seen them in so long, most especially, justin, matt, brian, kelly, crystal, andy, sara b., allyssa, katie, n many others but i'm not in a thinking mood rite now....i'm starting 2 despise skool, i hate having 2 do things, i no longer care or want 2 try, i dont even care if i go nemore at this point, but i will so i can make my parents happy, cuz nothing else i do makes them happy, cuz i'm never home...n they dont even realize that i hate not being home as much as they hate it, but i do not have the ability 2 say no 2 ppl, its impossible 4 me...man, life reli sux : (