desperado, why don't you come to your senses....
I have not posted in what seems like a millenium, but I know i'm exaggerating...it just seems like it's been forever.
so my first semester of my senior year is almost over, and while it was a very awesome semester in terms of Phi Sig and social pursuits, I found it very difficult to transition back to Alma only because I feel like I forgot what it was like to have a lot of schoolwork. I've been in the real world (sorta), and I realized how this meaningless, paper-writing, busy work stuff really doesn't matter as much as i thought it did. I was working at a nnonprofit alongside people with English degrees who'd never really worked in the political arena before....it's like, it doesn't matter what your degree is in...you just have to be able to sell yourself and be willing to learn. you have to be able to work your way up the ladder.
and I have not really applied to grad schools yet. and i should be doing that becuase that's what i want, right? i know i could do it, but more and more I'm questioning if i want to do it...i wonder if i should have been a psychology major instead because i think i would love being a psychologist...i love helping people through their problems, picking apart their brains and helping them through tough times. I'm only 21 and it already seems like it's too late to change my mind, and that's a scary thought.
i should love doing this stuff because i'm going to spend my life doing it, but i just don't know...i want ot love my career more than anything, but i'm worried that i'm also being too picky...
also, tonight i did something i'm not too proud of but really won't hurt anyone but myself. I'm not being cryptic, I'd just rather not go into detail. I just want to get my feelings down. you know when you do something and you're not so sure it's okay but at the same tiem you're filled with such hope that you cannot possibly consider not doing it? that's how i feel, and i just, i don't know.
i am more indepedent than ever. i worry that i'm isolating others sometimes, but i realized that i'm not really trying to...i just like doing what i want to do when i want to do it. i don't want to look back and discover that I lived for everyone else instead of myself. i want to live for me, and that may be selfish, but i feel like I'll be more giving later in life..at least i hope so :)
so my first semester of my senior year is almost over, and while it was a very awesome semester in terms of Phi Sig and social pursuits, I found it very difficult to transition back to Alma only because I feel like I forgot what it was like to have a lot of schoolwork. I've been in the real world (sorta), and I realized how this meaningless, paper-writing, busy work stuff really doesn't matter as much as i thought it did. I was working at a nnonprofit alongside people with English degrees who'd never really worked in the political arena before....it's like, it doesn't matter what your degree is in...you just have to be able to sell yourself and be willing to learn. you have to be able to work your way up the ladder.
and I have not really applied to grad schools yet. and i should be doing that becuase that's what i want, right? i know i could do it, but more and more I'm questioning if i want to do it...i wonder if i should have been a psychology major instead because i think i would love being a psychologist...i love helping people through their problems, picking apart their brains and helping them through tough times. I'm only 21 and it already seems like it's too late to change my mind, and that's a scary thought.
i should love doing this stuff because i'm going to spend my life doing it, but i just don't know...i want ot love my career more than anything, but i'm worried that i'm also being too picky...
also, tonight i did something i'm not too proud of but really won't hurt anyone but myself. I'm not being cryptic, I'd just rather not go into detail. I just want to get my feelings down. you know when you do something and you're not so sure it's okay but at the same tiem you're filled with such hope that you cannot possibly consider not doing it? that's how i feel, and i just, i don't know.
i am more indepedent than ever. i worry that i'm isolating others sometimes, but i realized that i'm not really trying to...i just like doing what i want to do when i want to do it. i don't want to look back and discover that I lived for everyone else instead of myself. i want to live for me, and that may be selfish, but i feel like I'll be more giving later in life..at least i hope so :)