oh, how was my night? thanks for asking.
So I took Radley for a walk yesterday. And then I did some homework. And then Nikki called and asked if I wanted to tailgate. Umm... UK vs. UofL? yeah. We became sufficiently unsober, off a fantastic drink: 1 part vodka, 1 part peach schnapps, 1 part lemonade. And we filled a DP (24oz) bottle with it, and drank it around the stadium parking lot. We partook in all the glorious tailgating events. Port-a-potties. (including a pee race, which I technically won.) Knocking a beer over. Screaming the C-A-T-S CATS CATS CATS cheer obscenely loudly. I even bonged half a beer. ugh.
Then we left the stadium lot, because Nikki had to pee, and we were fucking plastered... After Nikki almost puked, but didn't, decided she really, really, really had to pee. So there are parties all along Woodland (the block we live on, which runs straight into the stadium), and Nikki asks a kid with dreads if she can use his bathroom. He, of course, says yes, and I sit down and talk to the kid... and Nikki come out and we're all talking, and having a great time UNTIL-- these little girls walk up. They were, no joke, 16, 17 & 18. Two of them weren't even old enough to buy cigarettes or look at porn! WTF?! Wouldn't you at least lie about your age? "Yeah, I'm 19, I'm a sophomore, you?" duh. And the 16 year old, who was the most mature by far, got her foot backed over by some jackass at the gas station.
So, we're trying to explain to her that she has to be honest about the fact that she's been drinking when she goes to the hospital (because pain pills + alcohol = death)... and the 18 year old is like, umm... I know. So I said, (in, literally, the bitchiest voice I've ever used in my entire life) "could you be quiet for like, 2 seconds, that'd great, k, thanks." Which of course, erupted into a bitch fight, at which point the 17 year old goes
I'm 17, and I fucking drove here like this, and I don't fucking care, because I can still get crunk like any fucking 20 year old
that's nice, darling. umm... legal drinking age? 21, but nice try. AND you aren't even like underage, you're like... a minor. And she notices my piercings, and goes, and I've got 7 motherfucking piercings! umm... 10? and Nikki says, I'm pierced in places you wouldn't even guess. (hahaha...) and the fucking bitch goes to HIGHFIVE us, like we're part of her club, and not the other way around. She's not even old enough to get pierced without parental consent!
Anyway, we finally make it all the way back to our house... and we watch the game, and
UK FUCKING WON
but Nikki passed out. So I'm like, hey, I'll go home, let her pass out in peace.
Well, did I mention I took Radley on a walk yesterday? Yeah, so I took the house key off the keychain, so it would fit in my pocket. And then I put the keychain in my purse to go tailgating. I was locked out. And my landlord wasn't answering, and the maintenance man wasn't answering... So I crashed in Matt's bed. Until this morning...
I went down to the basement, pulled out an extension ladder...
CLIMBED A LADDER ONTO MY ROOF
so that I could open up my bathroom window, crawl into my bathroom, and have my freaking apartment back.
Did I mention I'm mildly phobic of ladders?
And my cell phone was dead.
So I got halfway up the ladder, and realized that I was going to have to either stay there, or climb all the way up, because there was no way in hell that I was going down. And if that bathroom window didn't open, I was going to be stuck on the roof, because there was NO F-ING WAY that I was going to get BACK on the ladder to climb down it.
My landlord, who finally called me back 20 hours later, is so lucky that my bathroom window opened...
Then we left the stadium lot, because Nikki had to pee, and we were fucking plastered... After Nikki almost puked, but didn't, decided she really, really, really had to pee. So there are parties all along Woodland (the block we live on, which runs straight into the stadium), and Nikki asks a kid with dreads if she can use his bathroom. He, of course, says yes, and I sit down and talk to the kid... and Nikki come out and we're all talking, and having a great time UNTIL-- these little girls walk up. They were, no joke, 16, 17 & 18. Two of them weren't even old enough to buy cigarettes or look at porn! WTF?! Wouldn't you at least lie about your age? "Yeah, I'm 19, I'm a sophomore, you?" duh. And the 16 year old, who was the most mature by far, got her foot backed over by some jackass at the gas station.
So, we're trying to explain to her that she has to be honest about the fact that she's been drinking when she goes to the hospital (because pain pills + alcohol = death)... and the 18 year old is like, umm... I know. So I said, (in, literally, the bitchiest voice I've ever used in my entire life) "could you be quiet for like, 2 seconds, that'd great, k, thanks." Which of course, erupted into a bitch fight, at which point the 17 year old goes
I'm 17, and I fucking drove here like this, and I don't fucking care, because I can still get crunk like any fucking 20 year old
that's nice, darling. umm... legal drinking age? 21, but nice try. AND you aren't even like underage, you're like... a minor. And she notices my piercings, and goes, and I've got 7 motherfucking piercings! umm... 10? and Nikki says, I'm pierced in places you wouldn't even guess. (hahaha...) and the fucking bitch goes to HIGHFIVE us, like we're part of her club, and not the other way around. She's not even old enough to get pierced without parental consent!
Anyway, we finally make it all the way back to our house... and we watch the game, and
UK FUCKING WON
but Nikki passed out. So I'm like, hey, I'll go home, let her pass out in peace.
Well, did I mention I took Radley on a walk yesterday? Yeah, so I took the house key off the keychain, so it would fit in my pocket. And then I put the keychain in my purse to go tailgating. I was locked out. And my landlord wasn't answering, and the maintenance man wasn't answering... So I crashed in Matt's bed. Until this morning...
I went down to the basement, pulled out an extension ladder...
CLIMBED A LADDER ONTO MY ROOF
so that I could open up my bathroom window, crawl into my bathroom, and have my freaking apartment back.
Did I mention I'm mildly phobic of ladders?
And my cell phone was dead.
So I got halfway up the ladder, and realized that I was going to have to either stay there, or climb all the way up, because there was no way in hell that I was going down. And if that bathroom window didn't open, I was going to be stuck on the roof, because there was NO F-ING WAY that I was going to get BACK on the ladder to climb down it.
My landlord, who finally called me back 20 hours later, is so lucky that my bathroom window opened...