Slipknot Anger & Shitty Weather
This has basically been the last month of life down here. I have been angry constantly, as i am in an argument with a friend online, so it's about as honest as it gets. To make things worst the weather has been fucking retarded. There was one week where it was 71 on monday and fucking 9 degrees saturday. Currently the hot thing is freezing rain. Which i never really understand, how can it be 20 fucking degrees and be raining instead of snowing? Anywho that's the weather, now for the anger issues. I really don't know what has happened to me, but the last 5 weeks or so i have been constantly angry. I'm talking listening to slipknot, yelling as i drive down the road anger. If i was in my truck i'd punch the steering wheel. The bad part is i can't figure out why. Some people say it's stress. I ain't buying it. I've been stressed for years. People who have seen my facial hair know that the light colored shit on my chin isn't blonde, it's gray. And that is due to stress and a very stressed life. I just find it hard to believe that i've resorted back to high school antics for dealing with anger. I mean i thought i have grown beyond that. Maybe that is as controlled as it gets though. Arguing, fighting, and yelling isn't healthy for any relationship whether it be with loved ones, family, or friends. However, if i bottle it up and periodically take it out on my vocal chords and my speakers, then maybe everything will be alright. The thing i worry about is that it's not periodically. When i say i've been angry lately, i'm talking 5/7 days a week i'm yelling, speeding, and blaring angry music. Also i worry about other people when it comes to this and not so much me. I've been angry for most my life, solidly 10-12 years. The problem with my anger is that i ain't above throwing away relationships with girls, or friendships of 5 years over something trivial due to how much enragement has presented it's self in me at that time. Anywho, i'm working on it, everything. Hopefully, i'll get this shit relaxed again