Can he survive?
That is the question i keep asking myself. Can i survive? This semester of school, a job with a bitch boss who apparently thinks slavery is still intact and that i own her children, and a truck that even after a tune up still keeps fucking up on me. Life is just one test of survival. You fight and you fight and you fight. You keep getting knocked down and you keep getting back up. And you do this survive. And who gets the last laugh, god that's who. Because no one gets out of life alive. There is no magical special thing for the people who don't give in and reach that goal of being an accountant or having the perfect family or being finanically set. You don't get to take your wife with you, nor your money, nor your job. Nothing lasts forever and yet the only thing i can think about is that for the next six weeks can i keep my 2 Bs and 2 Cs. I keep misjudging a lot of things, especially when it comes to school. I think i bomb a test, and i get an 82 on it. I think i did solid on a test, and i got a 63. Days, weekends, months are all starting to blur together. I mean, how in the hell do i keep these grades where they are, i still have 1/3 of a semester left, i've done choked away 25 percent in 2 classes and there are still 2 tests left. I know, that's the answer, i have 2 tests left. But it's not the answer, theoretically speaking if i can drop Bs on the 4 tests in my C classes, then i'm not going to lose my C. What if i can't though. That's a hell of a thing to be relying on. But hey i ain't giving up. I'm just bitching. I just feel like i get torn so many ways and there is nothing left of me. Don't get me wrong, i love helping friends get through those long shitty days with rednecks and enjoying some beer. I don't mind having an ex call me up and tell me that her current BF is so shitty he blows her off all the time. It doesn't bother me to get splinters in my hands to help my grandfather lift wood or visit my dad after he got out of surgery. It's just that after looking after so many people's souls and trying to save them, who's gonna save me?