What happened to our innocence, did it go out of style?
almost three years ago to the date, cameron and i, mark and ramona, and mallory and eric went to our high school prom. we had an unforgettable night, and it seemed like we were on top of the world. a week or two later, we graduated. it was fabulous. we were on cloud nine; our entire lives were ahead of us...or so we thought. so much has changed since that night. I can't even remember the last time i felt that satisfied with who i was. looking back at pictures of those last few weeks of high school, i barely recognize us. we all look older, of course. but something else has changed. that glow of childhood innocense from when our lives were carefree and we had such high hopes and anticipation for the future is gone from most of us now.
don't get me wrong. despite the constant stress about money and school i'm actually really happy right now. but recent events have made me realize how different i am now from how i was back then.
so much has happened since that month of may three years ago. of the three couples that went to prom that year, cameron and i are the only ones that are still together, though even that status is iffy right now. cameron and my our lowest point was back in february/march when we lost his grandmother to cancer (february) and as a result of the emotional strain that this put on cameron, we actually broke up for a while (march). things are getting better now, but up until the moment he called and said he didn't want me anymore that monday in march, i had never really questioned the strength of our relationship. the fact that we aren't as strong as i thought we were, and the fact that i could lose him at some point shook me to the core, and i still am very shaky when it comes to my faith in our relationship. it's been rough. i hope we can make it through.
i also went through a HUGE transformation emotionally. and career-wise. i finally decided to really follow my heart and, though i only had about 2 years left of college for my communications degree, i am now studying to join my other family members in the medical field, tacking on about three more years for my schooling. don't get me wrong, i loved communications, and whats more, i was damn good at it. but i felt an emotional pull in the direction of the medical field (when i picked my major the first time it was between the two: med school or communications). so i did it. i changed my career path. i couldn't be happier about that. it's a lot of work, and when i'm up studying late at night for hours on end trying to memorize all 206 bones for a twenty-question test for which any of the 206 bones are fair game, i do sometimes (sarcastically) wonder if it was worth it to change from talking about my feelings in communications to cramming my brain with a ton of information that my ability to retain could mean the difference between life and death for someone. but i know it is. when i get tests back with hundreds on them and when i can actually feel my brain working when i'm trying to figure out hypothetical diagnosis i know that it is so worth it.
the biggest difference between the people from that time three years ago is the whole reason for this post. a few hours ago i found out that mark capps had passed away. i still don't know what happened to him i hope to find out soon (knowing mark and his craziness, i doubt i could ever guess what happened).
*only mark would bring a whole half of a watermelon to class...*
*Cameron and Mark being silly at one of our senior events*
when i look back at the pictures from the last month in high school i can't believe that he's gone. he was one of those people who was always cracking a joke and doing something funny and crazy. i remember the morning of senior brunch...(senior brunch is when the facutly provides breakfast for the graduating seniors before graduation practice and they call it "senior brunch" but mainly they just hand out chicken biscuits because they know that if they give us food we'll show up for graduation practice) anyways, the morning of senior brunch i remember we were all sitting in the stands at brookwood stadium waiting for them to give us all directions on what we were supposed to do, and mark took people's chicken buscuits that they didn't want anymore and kept throwing them down on trying to hit certain targets. he kept accidentally hitting people with them. it was hilarious. it's so weird to think that he's gone.
*what an amazing guy*
RIP buddy. we'll all miss you.
"There are places I remember all my life, though some have changed. Some forever, not for better, some have gone and some remain..."- The Beatles, In My Life
don't get me wrong. despite the constant stress about money and school i'm actually really happy right now. but recent events have made me realize how different i am now from how i was back then.
so much has happened since that month of may three years ago. of the three couples that went to prom that year, cameron and i are the only ones that are still together, though even that status is iffy right now. cameron and my our lowest point was back in february/march when we lost his grandmother to cancer (february) and as a result of the emotional strain that this put on cameron, we actually broke up for a while (march). things are getting better now, but up until the moment he called and said he didn't want me anymore that monday in march, i had never really questioned the strength of our relationship. the fact that we aren't as strong as i thought we were, and the fact that i could lose him at some point shook me to the core, and i still am very shaky when it comes to my faith in our relationship. it's been rough. i hope we can make it through.
i also went through a HUGE transformation emotionally. and career-wise. i finally decided to really follow my heart and, though i only had about 2 years left of college for my communications degree, i am now studying to join my other family members in the medical field, tacking on about three more years for my schooling. don't get me wrong, i loved communications, and whats more, i was damn good at it. but i felt an emotional pull in the direction of the medical field (when i picked my major the first time it was between the two: med school or communications). so i did it. i changed my career path. i couldn't be happier about that. it's a lot of work, and when i'm up studying late at night for hours on end trying to memorize all 206 bones for a twenty-question test for which any of the 206 bones are fair game, i do sometimes (sarcastically) wonder if it was worth it to change from talking about my feelings in communications to cramming my brain with a ton of information that my ability to retain could mean the difference between life and death for someone. but i know it is. when i get tests back with hundreds on them and when i can actually feel my brain working when i'm trying to figure out hypothetical diagnosis i know that it is so worth it.
the biggest difference between the people from that time three years ago is the whole reason for this post. a few hours ago i found out that mark capps had passed away. i still don't know what happened to him i hope to find out soon (knowing mark and his craziness, i doubt i could ever guess what happened).
*only mark would bring a whole half of a watermelon to class...*
*Cameron and Mark being silly at one of our senior events*
when i look back at the pictures from the last month in high school i can't believe that he's gone. he was one of those people who was always cracking a joke and doing something funny and crazy. i remember the morning of senior brunch...(senior brunch is when the facutly provides breakfast for the graduating seniors before graduation practice and they call it "senior brunch" but mainly they just hand out chicken biscuits because they know that if they give us food we'll show up for graduation practice) anyways, the morning of senior brunch i remember we were all sitting in the stands at brookwood stadium waiting for them to give us all directions on what we were supposed to do, and mark took people's chicken buscuits that they didn't want anymore and kept throwing them down on trying to hit certain targets. he kept accidentally hitting people with them. it was hilarious. it's so weird to think that he's gone.
*what an amazing guy*
RIP buddy. we'll all miss you.
"There are places I remember all my life, though some have changed. Some forever, not for better, some have gone and some remain..."- The Beatles, In My Life