Dazed and drifting....
Im sitting here in yearbook. I just finished my yearbook final. The second final of my junior year. 6 to go and then im a senior. Wait.. a senior? for real? I cant quite grasp that. I mean i cant even drive yet (i will call the dmv today lol.. ) but really I mean, im still trying to figure out who i am and what i like to do and where i fit in, and yet the time to move on is rapidly encroaching on my life.
I feel like I live my life in both the future, and the past. Never in the present. Carpe diem isnt really in my vocabulary. I spend the majority of my time reminiscing on memories of good times and looking forward to fresh starts without ever really enjoying the life im currently living. Why this is I dont know. It seems i've always been this way. Maybe thats why I screw up all the time. Im just trying to either fall back to a life ive already lived or reach forward into one that isnt yet obtainable. I cant be content with the now. I dont really know why.. I've just noticed that. I live my life as if there is always a tomorrow. I put things off, i promise myself i'll change later on down the road. But the truth and reality is that well... there isnt always a tomorrow and I cant keep putting things off and making promises i have every intention of breaking.
Well thats me right now. And im just trying to get through these last few days.
Things to look forward to:
1. Braces off on wednesday!
2. License Im hoping this week
3. New car later in the summer
4. Effin summer... and the summer mix.
5. MEXICO! omg i cant even wait!
6. Cali with Tavia. She balances me out. Shes like my other half sorta. The half i wish i had more of lol.
7. Grandparents coming.. this one is bittersweet. I am excited to see them , but they also make me feel inferior with their proud tales of my cousins and their "acheivements"
8. My birthday!
okay thats all class is over..
I feel like I live my life in both the future, and the past. Never in the present. Carpe diem isnt really in my vocabulary. I spend the majority of my time reminiscing on memories of good times and looking forward to fresh starts without ever really enjoying the life im currently living. Why this is I dont know. It seems i've always been this way. Maybe thats why I screw up all the time. Im just trying to either fall back to a life ive already lived or reach forward into one that isnt yet obtainable. I cant be content with the now. I dont really know why.. I've just noticed that. I live my life as if there is always a tomorrow. I put things off, i promise myself i'll change later on down the road. But the truth and reality is that well... there isnt always a tomorrow and I cant keep putting things off and making promises i have every intention of breaking.
Well thats me right now. And im just trying to get through these last few days.
Things to look forward to:
1. Braces off on wednesday!
2. License Im hoping this week
3. New car later in the summer
4. Effin summer... and the summer mix.
5. MEXICO! omg i cant even wait!
6. Cali with Tavia. She balances me out. Shes like my other half sorta. The half i wish i had more of lol.
7. Grandparents coming.. this one is bittersweet. I am excited to see them , but they also make me feel inferior with their proud tales of my cousins and their "acheivements"
8. My birthday!
okay thats all class is over..