Okay, my New Year's resolution (-ish, since I'm not really a resolution type girl) is to actually update my journal on a regular basis.
Instead of trying to catch everybody up on my life since the last time I posted (which was...um...maybe three or four months ago), I will just tell you that I'm hanging out with Bananas right now and we're watching a horrible Charisma Carpenter movie from 2003. It has Antonio Sabato Jr. in it. I couldn't remember his name, but Bananas did because he was a big deal when she was in college. It also has Holly Marie Combs, who I've had a crush on since I was in high school when she was on Picket Fences. She made sixteen year-old me get a weird, fluttery feeling in my belly that I just couldn't explain.
Mostly, I'm making fun of the terrible hair and makeup. Like, whoever did Charisma Carpenter's makeup should have been fired because really? How do you make a stunningly beautiful woman look so very awkward and blotchy? And I'm also having a really good time calling every woman who's not Charisma or Holly a dumb bitch and/or cunt because it's one of those horrible TV movies where any woman who's not the main character or one of her three friends has no characterization except for being a dumb bitch and/or cunt. Linda Dano fron General Hospital (which, actually, isn't that what Antonio Sabato Jr. was from?) plays the most overbearing and awkwardly aggressive "supportive" aunt ever. I hate her. I also still have a giant crush on Holly Marie Combs because, rawr. She's a damn good looking woman.
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I don't feel like bothering with a smooth transition from bad TV movies to makeup, so I won't bother.
The Best Bronzers for Pale Skin
First things first: a bronzer is not a fake tanner. Instead of using it all over, you just want to brush it over the high points of your face -- the tops of your cheekbones, your temples, your hairline, the bridge of your nose, the point of your chin, etc. Don't use the stupid little flat brush that comes with your bronzer, instead use a big, fluffy powder brush and make sure to tap off any excess product before applying it to your skin.
1. The most subtle and a good one for bronzing beginners: if you have a face powder you love, buy another of the same brand one or two shades darker.
2.
Georgio Armani Sheer Bronzer #1: it looks almost gray in the pan, but that's okay! Super pale girls don't want the typical warm orangey bronzers that work so well on medium and darker tones; go for cool tones of honey or gray (not actual gray, just a cool brown that looks gray in the pan).
3.
Benefit's Hoola: use a light hand so it doesn't look muddy; without a light hand, it can go on too dark, but it's not at all orangey and it's nice and matte.
4.
Nars Bronzing Powder in Laguna: Nars makes amazing blushes and bronzers; the powder's so finely milled it goes on and blends like a dream. This has a little shimmer in it, but no so much that you look shiny; it just gives a hint of a glow.
5.
NYC Smooth Skin Bronzing Powder: sheer and easy to blend
6.
Physician's Formula Bronze Booster in Fair to Light: My absolute favorite inexpensive bronzer; it's light enough that it doesn't look orange or muddy and it blends fantastically.
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Quotes from Bananas
"Pet peeve of the week. If I'm angry and being a bitch to you over text messages and you're on your way to or from a funeral, just fucking stop me. Don't let me be a bitch to you for half an hour before you tell me. Why does this keep happening to me?"
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Man, Dodgeball is a great movie. I actually enjoy Ben Stiller when he's in something he didn't write.
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It took me hours to write this because my brain isn't working properly. After I'd been at Bananas' for an hour I said, "I think I'm drunk," and held up my beer. It wasn't even a quarter gone. I don't know if it's the stress of the holidays or maybe some crazy hormones (I just teared up a little bit at a semi-poignant moment in a Vince Vaughn movie about dodgeball), but I've just been totally wiped all day.
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I'm proud of myself for not even hinting about which
Bandom Stuffsit story I wrote, even though I really, really wanted to.
This entry was originally posted at
http://janesays.dreamwidth.org/20868.html. Comment wherever you'd like.