I have had "Single Ladies" in my head for three days
Hi! I haven't posted in over a month, so you get bullet points.
- found out somebody I thought was a relatively good friend was actually stealing from me and other people, awesome
- have sung karaoke twice a week for about a month and I'm not amazing but it's fun and I like having a set night that everybody goes out and gets together and we're all ridiculous; also, delicious nachos at the karaoke bar
- have 50 hours of vacation time built up, which means one thing: Las Vegas, baby!
- taking black dye out of your hair is hard, but I'm committed to the process
- when you're a lesbian, blowing a boy in a random band after a show just because you feel like it is maybe not the best life plan; plus side, good story; minus, cocks are still weird and not at all tasty; also, do people not WARN you anymore before they come? Also, gag reflex.
- Hattie has revoked my homo card for the above bullet point, but I did win the Shame Duck.
- in other news, Hattie and I have a Shame Duck. There are rules on the level of combined awesome and fail needed to win said duck.
- We hit a Shame Duck tie recently since the both of us have succumbed to Franzia boxed wine. The alcohol content for cheap is the awesome, the fact that we're drinking wine out of a box is the fail.
- I was 2,000 words short of making the Bandom Big Bang deadline, but I have to finish the story anyway orbattie_hattie and clocks will beat me with their fanciest shoes; they were there with me in the parking lot of the um, well, okay, it was some sort of casino and a parking garage, but I was very, very drunk that entire weekend and I don't remember which casino parking garage it was. Anyway. They were there with me when I came up with what I thought was drunken crack!fic just to make them laugh, but then turned out to be a real story. Probably because that was the night that Summerlin tried to eat us and we accidentally got 3/4 of the way to Mt. Charleston before noticing that Las Vegas was behind us and we can't even blame alcohol because clocks is always the DD and completely sober, though her navigation skills are perhaps a bit lacking. Also, Summerlin. That town will eat you, I swear it. It doesn't matter if you have fifteen maps and a GPS and a fucking Sherpa leading the way, you will get lost in Summerlin and despair of ever escaping before the hill people come down to eat your brains. Sometimes Hattie mentions maybe, possibly, moving to an apartment in Summerlin instead of, you know, in the ghetto behind The Strip and I tell her that she is, in no uncertain terms, forbidden from ever living in a town where 95% of the streets are perfect circles.
- I have, like, fourteen suitors over the age of 75. The old men love me, man. I should maybe try to be less sassy.