One-shot fic: More Than Words (Emily/JJ)
A couple of days later:
“Prentiss, do you know what you did is completely unnecessary and not to mention very dangerous?” Hotch roared in the police station after the raid to the Unsub’s warehouse. The unit chief was very angry at Emily for being so careless.
Emily rubbed her forehead. A bruise started to form on it, adding to the other bruise she had from the fall a couple of day before. “Sorry Hotch, I wasn’t thinking,” she said.
“That’s pretty clear you weren’t,” Hotch snapped. “Do you realize you almost got yourself killed? And you almost got Adams killed as well?”
The brunette whipped up her head and looked at Hotch in horror as his words sank in. It was okay if she endangered herself - but she didn’t mean to endanger anybody else’s life. She glanced outside through the glass pane at McKenzie who was talking with Morgan and Reid, one of her arms was on a sling. Emily swallowed hard; she was the reason why McKenzie’s arm was on a sling. She felt guilty for endangering her friend. And worse, she felt guilty for still being thankful that it was McKenzie that had gotten hurt instead of JJ.
Seeing that his points were taken, Hotch sighed. He realized that the woman before him had been unusually driven on the case, but he didn’t know why. “Are you okay?” the man finally asked. Emily looked beaten - her face bruised; and she was still limping.
Emily nodded weakly. “Yeah,” she replied. “Yeah, I’m okay.” She waited for Hotch to scold her more, and she was surprised when he patted her on the shoulder instead.
“Then I’m glad. Other than that carelessness of yours, you did a great job out there, Prentiss,” the older man said. “Get some rest now. We’re leaving in three hours.”
***
McKenzie was by far the most carefree woman JJ had ever known. JJ couldn’t believe how the redhead could see the raid incident as a joke. McKenzie had even said that she was going to tattoo her arm near the deep gash that would surely leave a scar.
“’BAU print’, how cool does that sound?” she bragged proudly.
JJ could still hear Reid asking her if she was serious with it. The green-eyed agent just laughed, but somehow JJ was sure that the other woman was really going to do it.
“Oy Blondie, sulky much?” McKenzie called out to JJ as the press liaison walked past the threesome. She left the two men and followed JJ to the desk. “What’s with the long face, Jay?”
JJ frowned. She hated being called ‘blondie’. She had always considered the word an insult - a hateful derogatory generalisation created by an inferior someone who thought that they were superior. Surprisingly, though, she didn’t find it insulting when McKenzie said it. “What happened isn’t funny, McKenzie,” JJ stated grimly.
The redhead chuckled. “Ah, don’t be so serious, JJ. It was nothing,” she said. McKenzie saw JJ glance at Emily and that the younger woman’s expression was getting grimmer. McKenzie sighed; she softened at the look on JJ’s face. “Hey,” she said. “If you’re so worried about Emily, why don’t you tell her so?” The blonde widened her eyes at McKenzie comment and the red-haired woman shook her head. “It’s a bit scary, isn’t it, how deep you’ve fallen for her?” she asked. JJ didn’t answer. McKenzie shook her head; she looked rather amused. “Both of you,” she continued, pointing at JJ and Emily, “are stupid.” She walked away, muttering, “Why in the world do I always make friends with stupid people?” so loud that JJ could still hear her.
The blonde glanced at Emily; the brunette was sitting alone with her head hung low. JJ sighed; she felt as if millions of stones were weighing her heart. She didn’t know how to start talking again to the older woman after the disastrous conversation a couple of night earlier. She knew Emily was avoiding her, too. Talking to Emily would be a difficult task, if not impossible.
***
“What are you doing here, JJ?” Emily asked, surprised to see JJ at the door in the middle of the night. To JJ’s relief, Emily didn’t sound irritated at all. “Come on in,” Emily invited her. “I’m helping Kenzie pack her stuff. The sooner she finishes packing, the sooner she leaves my house,” she explained jokingly.
“Emma, I couldn’t find my... oh, never mind,” McKenzie stopped midsentence when she saw JJ. The redhead smiled at JJ and waved at the two. “Talk,” she said in an authoritative tone. “I’ll go back to my nest. Seriously, people: talk!” she said. With that she went upstairs.
Emily smiled awkwardly at JJ but said nothing other than offering the younger woman to sit down and asking if she wanted something to drink.
“’Emma’, huh?” JJ enquired, quite amused to know that Emily had a nickname. She saw Emily blush a little. “It’s kind of cute. Why don’t you tell me you have such a nice nickname?”
“Because the only person that calls me that is Kenz,” Emily replied. “So what brings you to my door?”
Now it was JJ turn to blush. She didn’t know how to begin. She had been arranging her words carefully on her way to Emily’s house, but everything she had prepared was gone the moment she saw Emily. And now words were stumbling in her mind and she didn’t know what to say first. She glanced at the older woman and saw that Emily was waiting patiently for her to say something. So she opened her mouth and said, “Emily, do you still love me?”
Emily was flabbergasted to hear those words from JJ. That was the last thing she expected to hear. From the shocked look on JJ’s face, Emily knew that the blonde didn’t intend to say those words either.
JJ thought that she had no more chance with Emily when the brunette just sat opposite her, staring with her mouth open, without saying anything. She felt stupid and embarrassed and she wanted to leave Emily. She stood up and began to walk to the door when she felt a strong hand grabbing her arm.
“Where do you think you’re going?” Emily asked softly. “I haven’t given you my answer.” The brunette nudged JJ, asking her to face her. “What kind of question was that, Jennifer Jareau?”
“I... that didn’t come out right,” JJ replied weakly. Emily’s hand was still on her arm, burning her skin. “I wanted to... I came to... I mean, I really wanted to...,” JJ couldn’t finish her sentence. She felt her heart beat faster. Finally she gave up on trying making a coherent sentence so she just shook her head.
Emily chuckled. “A press liaison and you can’t even answer a simple question,” the woman stated. Then she looked into JJ’s blue eyes with such intensity that could burn down the house. Her voice was dangerously low when she spoke, “Yes.” And Emily raised her other hand and brushed a strand of hair from JJ’s cheek. “I never stop loving you, JJ.”
JJ was at loss of words. Emily’s soft words warmed her heart. “I...,” again, JJ couldn’t bring herself to say ‘I love you’. The blonde pulled Emily into a hug and cried her heart out. She was grateful when Emily didn’t pull away but hugged her back and let her cry, whispering soothing words. When the sob had subsided, JJ finally said, “I thought I was going to lose you; McKenzie is so perfect - you two look awesome together. She is...”
“A very dear friend,“ Emily cut JJ off. “She was never more than a very close friend to me. If I ever had feelings for another person back then, it wasn’t her,” she ensured JJ. Emily contemplated for a second whether she should continue or not before finally decided to lay all her cards on the table. “I fell for her sister; and nothing had happened between us, either - Mandy was, is, straight.”
The press liaison couldn’t say anything. She didn’t know what to say. She felt for Emily - it must have been tough, falling for someone who didn’t love you back. And JJ almost made Emily experience the feeling again. “I’m sorry Emily,” JJ whispered. “I’m sorry for what happened between you and her then; and I’m sorry for hurting you now.”
Emily smiled on JJ’s hair. “It’s okay, JJ. I’m okay,” she whispered. She kissed the top of JJ’s head unconsciously, feeling that it was the most natural thing in the world.
“I’m in love with you, you know?” JJ stated nonchalantly. She thought she was talking to herself, but she knew she had said it out loud when she felt Emily’s body stiffen. She looked up to meet Emily’s brown eyes, panicking. She backed away from the hug, trying to run away again, but Emily had none of it anymore.
“Stop running away from me, JJ,” the brunette pleaded desperately. She understood how confused and lost JJ must have been - JJ had never been in love with a woman before, and Emily could swear that the other woman hadn’t thought about falling in love to a woman, either. “I’ve waited long enough for you to stop running. If you don’t want anything to do with our feelings for each other, all you need to do is say it. You said you weren’t going anywhere; that you wouldn’t run away from me, from my feelings, but to be honest I’ve never felt as distant from you as I am now!”
“I...,” JJ stopped. What do I want? she asked herself. JJ was scared; she was scared her own feelings, unsure of what was going to happen next, worried that everything would fall apart. JJ was scared of what the future might hold for her and Emily. She took a glance at Emily realised how crestfallen and broken-hearted Emily had looked and all her fears flew away. She cupped Emily’s face and kissed the woman on the mouth without thinking. It was a brief kiss, but JJ felt butterflies on her stomach.
They looked at each other wordlessly. No need for words. The kiss had answered everything. Upstairs, lying on her stomach on the carpeted floor, McKenzie shook her head and grinned. She had been listening all the time - the closing of the door was a faux. “Stupid people,” she muttered to herself. She was glad that she got to see everything before she left. At least now I have closure, she thought bitterly.
The red-haired woman stood up and returned as quietly as possible to her own room. She then turned her radio, loud enough to hide any sound of crying she made from the happy twosome downstairs.
“I try to talk to you, but I don't know what to say. I am afraid you don't want me to say anything. So I don't. But inside of me there are words waiting to come out.And tell you how I feel-like how I miss you. And how I love you despite my broken heart.And how I need you in my life. And especially how much I want you.But those words may forver stay in my heart-locked inside.Sometimes I wonder if there are words locked inside you too... but I'll never know.”
-Anonymous-
“Prentiss, do you know what you did is completely unnecessary and not to mention very dangerous?” Hotch roared in the police station after the raid to the Unsub’s warehouse. The unit chief was very angry at Emily for being so careless.
Emily rubbed her forehead. A bruise started to form on it, adding to the other bruise she had from the fall a couple of day before. “Sorry Hotch, I wasn’t thinking,” she said.
“That’s pretty clear you weren’t,” Hotch snapped. “Do you realize you almost got yourself killed? And you almost got Adams killed as well?”
The brunette whipped up her head and looked at Hotch in horror as his words sank in. It was okay if she endangered herself - but she didn’t mean to endanger anybody else’s life. She glanced outside through the glass pane at McKenzie who was talking with Morgan and Reid, one of her arms was on a sling. Emily swallowed hard; she was the reason why McKenzie’s arm was on a sling. She felt guilty for endangering her friend. And worse, she felt guilty for still being thankful that it was McKenzie that had gotten hurt instead of JJ.
Seeing that his points were taken, Hotch sighed. He realized that the woman before him had been unusually driven on the case, but he didn’t know why. “Are you okay?” the man finally asked. Emily looked beaten - her face bruised; and she was still limping.
Emily nodded weakly. “Yeah,” she replied. “Yeah, I’m okay.” She waited for Hotch to scold her more, and she was surprised when he patted her on the shoulder instead.
“Then I’m glad. Other than that carelessness of yours, you did a great job out there, Prentiss,” the older man said. “Get some rest now. We’re leaving in three hours.”
***
McKenzie was by far the most carefree woman JJ had ever known. JJ couldn’t believe how the redhead could see the raid incident as a joke. McKenzie had even said that she was going to tattoo her arm near the deep gash that would surely leave a scar.
“’BAU print’, how cool does that sound?” she bragged proudly.
JJ could still hear Reid asking her if she was serious with it. The green-eyed agent just laughed, but somehow JJ was sure that the other woman was really going to do it.
“Oy Blondie, sulky much?” McKenzie called out to JJ as the press liaison walked past the threesome. She left the two men and followed JJ to the desk. “What’s with the long face, Jay?”
JJ frowned. She hated being called ‘blondie’. She had always considered the word an insult - a hateful derogatory generalisation created by an inferior someone who thought that they were superior. Surprisingly, though, she didn’t find it insulting when McKenzie said it. “What happened isn’t funny, McKenzie,” JJ stated grimly.
The redhead chuckled. “Ah, don’t be so serious, JJ. It was nothing,” she said. McKenzie saw JJ glance at Emily and that the younger woman’s expression was getting grimmer. McKenzie sighed; she softened at the look on JJ’s face. “Hey,” she said. “If you’re so worried about Emily, why don’t you tell her so?” The blonde widened her eyes at McKenzie comment and the red-haired woman shook her head. “It’s a bit scary, isn’t it, how deep you’ve fallen for her?” she asked. JJ didn’t answer. McKenzie shook her head; she looked rather amused. “Both of you,” she continued, pointing at JJ and Emily, “are stupid.” She walked away, muttering, “Why in the world do I always make friends with stupid people?” so loud that JJ could still hear her.
The blonde glanced at Emily; the brunette was sitting alone with her head hung low. JJ sighed; she felt as if millions of stones were weighing her heart. She didn’t know how to start talking again to the older woman after the disastrous conversation a couple of night earlier. She knew Emily was avoiding her, too. Talking to Emily would be a difficult task, if not impossible.
***
“What are you doing here, JJ?” Emily asked, surprised to see JJ at the door in the middle of the night. To JJ’s relief, Emily didn’t sound irritated at all. “Come on in,” Emily invited her. “I’m helping Kenzie pack her stuff. The sooner she finishes packing, the sooner she leaves my house,” she explained jokingly.
“Emma, I couldn’t find my... oh, never mind,” McKenzie stopped midsentence when she saw JJ. The redhead smiled at JJ and waved at the two. “Talk,” she said in an authoritative tone. “I’ll go back to my nest. Seriously, people: talk!” she said. With that she went upstairs.
Emily smiled awkwardly at JJ but said nothing other than offering the younger woman to sit down and asking if she wanted something to drink.
“’Emma’, huh?” JJ enquired, quite amused to know that Emily had a nickname. She saw Emily blush a little. “It’s kind of cute. Why don’t you tell me you have such a nice nickname?”
“Because the only person that calls me that is Kenz,” Emily replied. “So what brings you to my door?”
Now it was JJ turn to blush. She didn’t know how to begin. She had been arranging her words carefully on her way to Emily’s house, but everything she had prepared was gone the moment she saw Emily. And now words were stumbling in her mind and she didn’t know what to say first. She glanced at the older woman and saw that Emily was waiting patiently for her to say something. So she opened her mouth and said, “Emily, do you still love me?”
Emily was flabbergasted to hear those words from JJ. That was the last thing she expected to hear. From the shocked look on JJ’s face, Emily knew that the blonde didn’t intend to say those words either.
JJ thought that she had no more chance with Emily when the brunette just sat opposite her, staring with her mouth open, without saying anything. She felt stupid and embarrassed and she wanted to leave Emily. She stood up and began to walk to the door when she felt a strong hand grabbing her arm.
“Where do you think you’re going?” Emily asked softly. “I haven’t given you my answer.” The brunette nudged JJ, asking her to face her. “What kind of question was that, Jennifer Jareau?”
“I... that didn’t come out right,” JJ replied weakly. Emily’s hand was still on her arm, burning her skin. “I wanted to... I came to... I mean, I really wanted to...,” JJ couldn’t finish her sentence. She felt her heart beat faster. Finally she gave up on trying making a coherent sentence so she just shook her head.
Emily chuckled. “A press liaison and you can’t even answer a simple question,” the woman stated. Then she looked into JJ’s blue eyes with such intensity that could burn down the house. Her voice was dangerously low when she spoke, “Yes.” And Emily raised her other hand and brushed a strand of hair from JJ’s cheek. “I never stop loving you, JJ.”
JJ was at loss of words. Emily’s soft words warmed her heart. “I...,” again, JJ couldn’t bring herself to say ‘I love you’. The blonde pulled Emily into a hug and cried her heart out. She was grateful when Emily didn’t pull away but hugged her back and let her cry, whispering soothing words. When the sob had subsided, JJ finally said, “I thought I was going to lose you; McKenzie is so perfect - you two look awesome together. She is...”
“A very dear friend,“ Emily cut JJ off. “She was never more than a very close friend to me. If I ever had feelings for another person back then, it wasn’t her,” she ensured JJ. Emily contemplated for a second whether she should continue or not before finally decided to lay all her cards on the table. “I fell for her sister; and nothing had happened between us, either - Mandy was, is, straight.”
The press liaison couldn’t say anything. She didn’t know what to say. She felt for Emily - it must have been tough, falling for someone who didn’t love you back. And JJ almost made Emily experience the feeling again. “I’m sorry Emily,” JJ whispered. “I’m sorry for what happened between you and her then; and I’m sorry for hurting you now.”
Emily smiled on JJ’s hair. “It’s okay, JJ. I’m okay,” she whispered. She kissed the top of JJ’s head unconsciously, feeling that it was the most natural thing in the world.
“I’m in love with you, you know?” JJ stated nonchalantly. She thought she was talking to herself, but she knew she had said it out loud when she felt Emily’s body stiffen. She looked up to meet Emily’s brown eyes, panicking. She backed away from the hug, trying to run away again, but Emily had none of it anymore.
“Stop running away from me, JJ,” the brunette pleaded desperately. She understood how confused and lost JJ must have been - JJ had never been in love with a woman before, and Emily could swear that the other woman hadn’t thought about falling in love to a woman, either. “I’ve waited long enough for you to stop running. If you don’t want anything to do with our feelings for each other, all you need to do is say it. You said you weren’t going anywhere; that you wouldn’t run away from me, from my feelings, but to be honest I’ve never felt as distant from you as I am now!”
“I...,” JJ stopped. What do I want? she asked herself. JJ was scared; she was scared her own feelings, unsure of what was going to happen next, worried that everything would fall apart. JJ was scared of what the future might hold for her and Emily. She took a glance at Emily realised how crestfallen and broken-hearted Emily had looked and all her fears flew away. She cupped Emily’s face and kissed the woman on the mouth without thinking. It was a brief kiss, but JJ felt butterflies on her stomach.
They looked at each other wordlessly. No need for words. The kiss had answered everything. Upstairs, lying on her stomach on the carpeted floor, McKenzie shook her head and grinned. She had been listening all the time - the closing of the door was a faux. “Stupid people,” she muttered to herself. She was glad that she got to see everything before she left. At least now I have closure, she thought bitterly.
The red-haired woman stood up and returned as quietly as possible to her own room. She then turned her radio, loud enough to hide any sound of crying she made from the happy twosome downstairs.
“I try to talk to you, but I don't know what to say. I am afraid you don't want me to say anything. So I don't. But inside of me there are words waiting to come out.And tell you how I feel-like how I miss you. And how I love you despite my broken heart.And how I need you in my life. And especially how much I want you.But those words may forver stay in my heart-locked inside.Sometimes I wonder if there are words locked inside you too... but I'll never know.”
-Anonymous-