Chocolate and Quantum Mechanics
It's 3:30 AM. I have to be at work at 8.
On Easter, much to my surprise, there was a basket of candy waiting for me on the kitchen table. In this basket, nestled among the various and sundry treats, were two of the absolute best things one could wish for on Easter. You see, Easter isn't just about candy. It's about toys too, and there is nothing that symbolizes that fact better than the Kinder Surprise.
For those of you unfamiliar with this marvel of science and confection, a Kinder Surprise consists of three layers (listed from outside to the inside):
1. Terrible chocolate, in the shape of an egg. This lends further credence to the Kinder Surprise = Easter theory. Eating this chocolate is not unlike chewing on some sort of malleable plastic.
2. Actual plastic, in the shape of an oblong container. Usually, one half is yellow, the other orange, though it is not unheard of for it to be all yellow, all orange, or another color entirely.
3. The Surprise. This could be anything. A small robot. A tiny model of Neptune, ruler of the sea. An anthropomorphic bucket of paint (I actually have one of these in my kitchen). The best part is, you get to put it together yourself. Afterward, you look at it and say "Wow, I have no clue how they fit all that into that little container." Of course, sometimes, you get stuck with a shitty puzzle, or a figure that requires no building whatsoever. But you put up with those. Those are the risks you take.
Anyway, after I opened up the first of these surprises (I got a kickass robot-spaceman thing that I think I left at my sister's house), everything was peachy. A few days later, I remembered that I had a completely untouched egg, sitting on my desk. I went over, ate the chocolate, and was just about to open the capsule, when all of a sudden, I didn't.
I just stopped. And I stared at it for the better part of an hour.
You see, at this point in time, whatever is in that capsule is exactly what I want it to be. It's a tiny spaceship. It's a small ferris wheel. It's a dinosaur with a cowboy on its back. It's Schroedinger's Cat, and I've gotta say, with all the things I've seen come out of these eggs, I wouldn't be at all surprised to find a cat (alive or dead) in one.
Whatever it is, it doesn't suck.
I suck right now. I've failed at just about everything I set out to do since graduating high school. I don't sing anymore. I'm not a barber anymore. I got fired from quite possibly the best job I will ever hold in my entire life. Why? I got depressed, and decided to blame it all on the job. It wasn't my job. I made some stupid choices, then had to deal with the consequences, and that didn't go over too well.
I'm starting school in the fall. But for what? I have no clue what I'm going to do with myself.
Firefighter? That's just me wanting to be a damn superhero.
Teach English? Hah. What do I have to say about anything that hasn't already been said by every other teacher before me, and better?
Own a sandwich shop? Yeah, cause there aren't a million of those already.
Do you know what I did today? I read 73 issues of Ultimate Spiderman in one sitting. The only things it seems I'm passionate about anymore are comic books and cartoons. I'd love to get a job involving either, but what? I can't write, I can't draw, and I have no experience. Who would hire me?
I can't sleep tonight. It's 4 in the morning, and I have to get some rest, but every time I try, I start thinking about shitty things I've done, lies I've told, mistakes I've made, people I've hurt. In the grand scheme of things, nothing major, but it eats away at me anyway.
Jessica called me the other day. I feel shitty for not returning her call, but it's nothing compared to how shitty I'd feel if I did. What the hell is that about? How could we go from being so important to each other to this?
If it could happen to us, what's to stop it from happening to everyone I care about?
I don't think I'm a very good friend. You know who popped into my head tonight as I tried to sleep? Mel Akin. The only time I ever really hung out with Mel was last summer, but it was pretty cool. We got along well, had the same sense of humor, and she helped me out big time when I quit working at the Broadway Barbershop. Thing is, she and Emily stopped getting along for whatever reason. So, Emily said cut her off, and I did. We did. We saw her once after that.
What a shitty thing to do. I wonder how she's doing. I think I'll write to her.
I have a feeling I won't get to see Abe this summer. He says he's going to try and make it work, I know we're all going to do our best, but, I just don't see it happening this time. That tears me up too. The camping trip the four of us took in the summer is, hands down, my favorite memory. We promised we'd do it every year. Eventually we'd bring our families.
Ah well, whatever happens, I still have this unopened capsule.
I just hope it's not a fucking puzzle.
On Easter, much to my surprise, there was a basket of candy waiting for me on the kitchen table. In this basket, nestled among the various and sundry treats, were two of the absolute best things one could wish for on Easter. You see, Easter isn't just about candy. It's about toys too, and there is nothing that symbolizes that fact better than the Kinder Surprise.
For those of you unfamiliar with this marvel of science and confection, a Kinder Surprise consists of three layers (listed from outside to the inside):
1. Terrible chocolate, in the shape of an egg. This lends further credence to the Kinder Surprise = Easter theory. Eating this chocolate is not unlike chewing on some sort of malleable plastic.
2. Actual plastic, in the shape of an oblong container. Usually, one half is yellow, the other orange, though it is not unheard of for it to be all yellow, all orange, or another color entirely.
3. The Surprise. This could be anything. A small robot. A tiny model of Neptune, ruler of the sea. An anthropomorphic bucket of paint (I actually have one of these in my kitchen). The best part is, you get to put it together yourself. Afterward, you look at it and say "Wow, I have no clue how they fit all that into that little container." Of course, sometimes, you get stuck with a shitty puzzle, or a figure that requires no building whatsoever. But you put up with those. Those are the risks you take.
Anyway, after I opened up the first of these surprises (I got a kickass robot-spaceman thing that I think I left at my sister's house), everything was peachy. A few days later, I remembered that I had a completely untouched egg, sitting on my desk. I went over, ate the chocolate, and was just about to open the capsule, when all of a sudden, I didn't.
I just stopped. And I stared at it for the better part of an hour.
You see, at this point in time, whatever is in that capsule is exactly what I want it to be. It's a tiny spaceship. It's a small ferris wheel. It's a dinosaur with a cowboy on its back. It's Schroedinger's Cat, and I've gotta say, with all the things I've seen come out of these eggs, I wouldn't be at all surprised to find a cat (alive or dead) in one.
Whatever it is, it doesn't suck.
I suck right now. I've failed at just about everything I set out to do since graduating high school. I don't sing anymore. I'm not a barber anymore. I got fired from quite possibly the best job I will ever hold in my entire life. Why? I got depressed, and decided to blame it all on the job. It wasn't my job. I made some stupid choices, then had to deal with the consequences, and that didn't go over too well.
I'm starting school in the fall. But for what? I have no clue what I'm going to do with myself.
Firefighter? That's just me wanting to be a damn superhero.
Teach English? Hah. What do I have to say about anything that hasn't already been said by every other teacher before me, and better?
Own a sandwich shop? Yeah, cause there aren't a million of those already.
Do you know what I did today? I read 73 issues of Ultimate Spiderman in one sitting. The only things it seems I'm passionate about anymore are comic books and cartoons. I'd love to get a job involving either, but what? I can't write, I can't draw, and I have no experience. Who would hire me?
I can't sleep tonight. It's 4 in the morning, and I have to get some rest, but every time I try, I start thinking about shitty things I've done, lies I've told, mistakes I've made, people I've hurt. In the grand scheme of things, nothing major, but it eats away at me anyway.
Jessica called me the other day. I feel shitty for not returning her call, but it's nothing compared to how shitty I'd feel if I did. What the hell is that about? How could we go from being so important to each other to this?
If it could happen to us, what's to stop it from happening to everyone I care about?
I don't think I'm a very good friend. You know who popped into my head tonight as I tried to sleep? Mel Akin. The only time I ever really hung out with Mel was last summer, but it was pretty cool. We got along well, had the same sense of humor, and she helped me out big time when I quit working at the Broadway Barbershop. Thing is, she and Emily stopped getting along for whatever reason. So, Emily said cut her off, and I did. We did. We saw her once after that.
What a shitty thing to do. I wonder how she's doing. I think I'll write to her.
I have a feeling I won't get to see Abe this summer. He says he's going to try and make it work, I know we're all going to do our best, but, I just don't see it happening this time. That tears me up too. The camping trip the four of us took in the summer is, hands down, my favorite memory. We promised we'd do it every year. Eventually we'd bring our families.
Ah well, whatever happens, I still have this unopened capsule.
I just hope it's not a fucking puzzle.