The End
I really am quite lost for words. I don't think, even at the height of my fic-writing and involvement in the fandom, that I realised what a profund effect these books have had on me, nor how they have ingrained themselves so subtly yet so deeply into my life.
And now it's over.
I first started reading the books when I was 17. I'm now 24. My entire adult life so far has been reality co-existing with a fantasy world that has become so real to me, so powerful, that I mourn the loss of its inhabitants almost as I'd mourn the loss of a friend.
If the brilliance of a writer is their ability to draw you into a story, surely JK Rowling is the master of them all.
And now let's talk about Snape. The brilliant, lonely, tortured soul I had always hoped he would turn out to be. I can't help but think of Dumbledore's words to Harry, "Pity the living, and above all, those who live without love."
Snape was capable of so much love, and yet never did he receive any in return. So does that make him worthy of pity? No. Worthy of honour, I say. Honour above almost all others. To love one woman his entire life, despite her choosing another (and I'll never say he was blameless in driving her down that path - he was fifteen and an idiot, just like others have been); to seek to make right his wrongs by protecting the son who was a painful, constant reminder of everything he might have had, and lost; to conceal his true self and his love from all, and live a shadow of a life until that life was taken from him... What greater sacrifice can one make?
That Voldemort killed him to assume mastery of a wand that Snape had never been master of at all was a painful irony. Voldemort's erroneous faith in his theory and in his supposedly loyal servant would be the end of him, and end that Snape had laboured towards for years, only to be denied the joy of knowing his labours had been fruitful by a few short hours.
But to read the truth about Lily, the truth about Dumbledore and his manipulations of all around him, including Harry and Snape, was a relief.
All those years of my blind faith in Snape, insisting he was good but not truly understanding why, have been rewarded.
That Harry knows the truth is the sweetest victory of all.
Because although Snape was killed before the battle, away from the eyes of those he had been silently fighting alongside for so many years, all who were there at the final showdown between Harry and Voldemort know the truth; Snape was Dumbledore's man, he was Harry's man, but above all, he was Lily's man.
And his love for her helped to save them all.
Finally, now that Voldemort is dead and Harry can live safely, he is free.
Free.
I hope the next life is kind to him.
"Albus Severus," Harry said quietly, "you were named for two headmasters of Hogwarts. One of them was a Slytherin and he was probably the bravest man I ever knew."
In Memoriam
Severus Snape
The Bravest of Us All