(no subject)
Holy fucking hell!
I don't care who you are - Slytherin or otherwise - you have NOT had as bad a week as I have.
A POODLE!! A FUCKING POODLE, I TELL YOU!
Actually, that could have been worse; I had fun biting people. But no one was taking care of me, and my fur got MATTED!! And then I got fucking FLEAS! I still have a rash behind my ears, it's HORRIBLE!! UGH! For the first time in my life, my hair was naturally curly, and I was a frigging DOG!!!
And, oh fuck, the headaches. All I could do was yap, yap, fuckity-YAP! I didn't want to, but they kept coming out of me, and I don't think my ears will ever stop ringing. And what is it with people throwing sticks at me and looking expectantly as if I'm meant to run and pick it up - with my MOUTH no less?! Could they not tell from the purple bow on my head that I was a SOPHISTICATED dog?! It's not my fault that ONCE I couldn't help myself, but I was new to all the stupid.. dog feelings!! IT WASN'T MY FUCKING FAULT!
Anyway. Just in case I get turned into a poodle permanently, I'm writing to the people who build toilets. Why haven't they built toilets for dogs?! They need to piss ALL THE FUCKING TIME! And there's NOWHERE TO GO!! Well, Millicent Bulstrode's bed smells much better now, and a message to the person whose shoes are ruined - YOU DESERVED IT, BITCH!
To top it all, my laptop got fucking... well, it got ruined. I had to wait until NOW to get a new one. Fucking arse-wanking jumped-up Gryffindors. DEATH TO YOU ALL!!
But I must get on and write this letter; I refuse to risk having to urinate in such unhygenic conditions, should this happen again. (Which it WON'T, because you are all going to DIE.)
I don't care who you are - Slytherin or otherwise - you have NOT had as bad a week as I have.
A POODLE!! A FUCKING POODLE, I TELL YOU!
Actually, that could have been worse; I had fun biting people. But no one was taking care of me, and my fur got MATTED!! And then I got fucking FLEAS! I still have a rash behind my ears, it's HORRIBLE!! UGH! For the first time in my life, my hair was naturally curly, and I was a frigging DOG!!!
And, oh fuck, the headaches. All I could do was yap, yap, fuckity-YAP! I didn't want to, but they kept coming out of me, and I don't think my ears will ever stop ringing. And what is it with people throwing sticks at me and looking expectantly as if I'm meant to run and pick it up - with my MOUTH no less?! Could they not tell from the purple bow on my head that I was a SOPHISTICATED dog?! It's not my fault that ONCE I couldn't help myself, but I was new to all the stupid.. dog feelings!! IT WASN'T MY FUCKING FAULT!
Anyway. Just in case I get turned into a poodle permanently, I'm writing to the people who build toilets. Why haven't they built toilets for dogs?! They need to piss ALL THE FUCKING TIME! And there's NOWHERE TO GO!! Well, Millicent Bulstrode's bed smells much better now, and a message to the person whose shoes are ruined - YOU DESERVED IT, BITCH!
To top it all, my laptop got fucking... well, it got ruined. I had to wait until NOW to get a new one. Fucking arse-wanking jumped-up Gryffindors. DEATH TO YOU ALL!!
But I must get on and write this letter; I refuse to risk having to urinate in such unhygenic conditions, should this happen again. (Which it WON'T, because you are all going to DIE.)