(no subject)
What if the pain in my belly and the pain in my heart rise up against me and claim my soul?
I'm finally starting to feel like I can function but my libido seems to be holding me back. I dont understand what is wrong with me. There are people that go years without sex. I think the next step is going to include my battle against all aspects of fear. Changing all aspects which make me a fearful, anxious, pesimistic, and thus weak person. I want God to take those and make me a faithful, joyfully anticipating, optimistic, courageous however humble, and thus strong person.
I know, I know...me, strong?
Well, it'd be nice for a change. You know. So I can fight.
Fight what, Vincent old boy?
The lie that has consumed me. That’s what I’m fighting. Fuck you Silent Hill, fuck you.
That feels so much better. ^^
I'm irritated at a lot of things, and a lot of people in particular. Can't you guys like give it a rest?! Is it a must to be BETTER than me? Whatever I do, you can do better?! Give it a damned REST. It's prejudice, and it's ignorance, on a level that is staggering at this point in time. I honestly don't care if you're better than me, richer than me or more popular than me. I like the way I am. Debauched, depressed and cynically charming me.
Look, nobody's got to read this one. I just want to write it. I know it's weird and kind of stupid, but I just want to write it.
In other news, my eye is still twitching despite a nearly caffeine-free day (have the headache to prove it), and if it's not stopped twitching by tomorrow, I'm having caffeine, because there's no way I can handle well, whatever I end up doing tomorrow if I'm half asleep and headachey and crabby/easily made frantic like this.
I'm finally starting to feel like I can function but my libido seems to be holding me back. I dont understand what is wrong with me. There are people that go years without sex. I think the next step is going to include my battle against all aspects of fear. Changing all aspects which make me a fearful, anxious, pesimistic, and thus weak person. I want God to take those and make me a faithful, joyfully anticipating, optimistic, courageous however humble, and thus strong person.
I know, I know...me, strong?
Well, it'd be nice for a change. You know. So I can fight.
Fight what, Vincent old boy?
The lie that has consumed me. That’s what I’m fighting. Fuck you Silent Hill, fuck you.
That feels so much better. ^^
I'm irritated at a lot of things, and a lot of people in particular. Can't you guys like give it a rest?! Is it a must to be BETTER than me? Whatever I do, you can do better?! Give it a damned REST. It's prejudice, and it's ignorance, on a level that is staggering at this point in time. I honestly don't care if you're better than me, richer than me or more popular than me. I like the way I am. Debauched, depressed and cynically charming me.
Look, nobody's got to read this one. I just want to write it. I know it's weird and kind of stupid, but I just want to write it.
In other news, my eye is still twitching despite a nearly caffeine-free day (have the headache to prove it), and if it's not stopped twitching by tomorrow, I'm having caffeine, because there's no way I can handle well, whatever I end up doing tomorrow if I'm half asleep and headachey and crabby/easily made frantic like this.