What's new everyone?
This has all been wild.
I'm doing okay I guess. I've been saying such for a while because it's a complicated answer.
It's hard to say anything beyond I'm ready to say everything.
I truly do not have a clue as to wether to be optimistic or pessimistic.
I have a good valued friend that makes me so happy. There's someone I like-like who is oddly ... I don't know he's kind of interesting. It's hard to get to into the weeds on that one without talking about personal things. It's hard sometimes because I thought I was good and moved past some issues but think might still hypothetically have some things to work past. It's hard to without doing it with someone in a practical way. The other person is important part that's always a mystery in the equation. Sure most people would be okay.
I do feel I matured. Doesn't make other practical things seem any easier but sometimes it does. It's been frustrating to put it mildly. Things and people who have been cathartic to a large extent. Still some wtf stuff. Don't worry I'm still a whiny complainer striving for ....ummm average I guess. Some kind of basic
God damn...I don't get five seconds to myself but on rare day I get a bit done on rarer day I get a ton done. I am trying to be more balanced but I also just need to get some things done.
I've made a strange peace at some level with if things go wrong I want to live yet. I want all the work I've done and have to do yet to let me ... I just want to not escape.
Struggling for words more than normal. Maybe all my consumption of media etc and never get five seconds alone and like zero social time. That was good in a way it's hard to not be angry or when people ask normal kind of things hard to answer. I don't want to lie but sometimes I don't want to get into it either. It's also like whose expecting I"m annoyed DOJ is dragging their ass etc etc in response to how are you right?
What else? My paper journal I started during lockdown/just before is running out. I have new one that's more a planner etc but found some nice journals. I'm still waffling on what to spend money on. I value journals and next one might be particularly meaningful.
Haven't been kayaking in a while. Should maybe do that as reward when I get important things done or partially done? I hate to deprive myself artificially though. I still don't have that many things I like.
Been eating more normal and getting exercise. If running up and down stairs 40 fucking times counts or well do walk around /go out more but not as much exercise as used to. Even went for a bike ride lately but heavy bike not usual one and exhausting. Been sleeping better with less riots and even with stress from not knowing how things will turn out.
oh let me say not concerned about "riots' but personal stuff. Don't get me wrong burning a police precinct is wild. I don't want to get into that stuff too much because my internet/phone signal was already messed up so hey..
Think I might just put away laundry from couple days ago and call it a night. It's already 9:23.