Might try something new this week
Fingers crossed. I should be aware of a certain situation that seems to be escalating but it's a struggle because not something that I have much say in at this point.
In better news about me that strange dramatic dude in my DMs disappeared. It was a nice chance to be put on a spot to explain things in a way that wasn't too hostile or complicated. I sounded out my I don't know what word to use it's not concern as much as a knowledge a gap of information/etc. Still on the slow roll of new people squirrel me out a bit. Context matters.As far as what is issues and what is normal amount of leery I just go with 'it is what it it' not to be ironic. I don't get to be excited in the same way. The guaranteed level uncertainty in my life is what dissuades me from certain things. No certainty in a way but I have some * extra* level things going on or not going to where it's stupid. Deserve to have my life even just like a boring basic one would feel great because my interesting but bizarre has be ~trying~. Not a pity party but woe is me.
I am not sure what I want out this year . Wild guess I'll make a bit of progress on my everything but the apprehension and pessimism is there. Don't want to call it scared but that part is complicated and stresses me.
When it's bad, such as this morning being rudely awoken multiple times & the day drags and I get nothing I want or need to done, I just hope things are more peaceful soon and know I'll enjoy it when they are. News thing is bad too. Going to try to skip certain unnamed news providers to avoid reading about certain things. Torn about being some level of aware of what's put out and some level of upset by it/amount of cool cool to it all. Not sure I 100% loving how things were handled.
I still kind of get mad at this point. There's progress I guess you could call it. The practical things make me feel better and raised general awareness.
Going to try harder to just function super well this week and avoid unnecessary stress. Best I can do right now. Maybe talk to friends more or something special. Funny can't think of anything "special" just love to function effectively with everything I want done. Feel like everything happens out of order.