Fun Times on the Enterprise
So, I was just looking through my unfinished fanfictions and decided to post this one up. It's not as finished as I want, but hell.
Fandom: Star Trek (reboot)
Rating: G
Pairing: Scott/Chapel UST*, implied Kirk/McCoy gen
Disclaimer: Yeah, I don't own or profit. ZE END!
Summary: The unfinished epic Scott and Chapel ballad as told through ship communications
*Okay, this is just from my crazy mind, but I think nu!Scott/Chapel would be a pretty nifty couple. I have this thing where I believe Scotty contracts pneumonia from the water turbines and is nursed by to health by Chapel and sandwiches once everything's settled. And, he keeps showing up in Sickbay with minor burns so Chapel will give him sandwiches and TLC. It's the Nightingale Effect (and soooo lame, I know), but this is my mind :)
To my f-list: yeah, my lj-cuts aren't working. Wtf, mate? Sorry about the crazy :) Fixed! XD
And, without further ado:
Personal Log Stardate: 22589.40
Entered by: Head Nurse Christine Chapel
If Captain Kirk comes in here complaining of an ache in his pants again, I will throw him out of the Sickbay so hard he’s going to bounce. Mark my words.
And, if I get my ass pinched again, I’m going to scream!
[Time Lapse]
That’s it! I’m switching to a man’s uniform. Nurses should not be wearing short skirts while working! Underscore, exclamation. It’s bad enough that most men have the ‘naughty nurse’ fantasy! Is it too much to ask for a sense of decorum?
Also, I worry for Mr. Scott. He seems to come into the Sickbay on an average of twice a week complaining of engineering burns. I’m happy I’m able to see him (we did hit it off rather well on the Enterprise maiden voyage), but I worry about his health. Furthermore, the engine room is no place for an illegal still! I keep telling him that!
Chapel out
To: Engineering Rm.
From: Lg. Chapel, C.
A dermal regenerator has been sent to the main engineering room. Please utilize this for any minor burns. There are easy-to-follow instructions inside.
Have a great day,
Lg. Chapel
To: Capt. Awesome
From: Bones
Quit terrorizing my Head Nurse! She’s threatening to throw you in an airlock, and I just might let her! Hippocratic Oath be damned.
Leonard H. McCoy, MD
P.S. Quit changing my personal email! I know for a fact you have that Russian whiz kid hacking into the system. Don't force my hand. It will not be pretty.
Coded Voice Memo to McCoy, L. from Capt. Awesome
Now, now, Bones…is that any way to treat your Captain?
Are we still on for Saturday? I still have those cuffs, you remember them, right? That one night when you tied me up- [PORTION SCRAMBLED DUE TO MATURE CONTENT]
To: All Hands
From: Quartermaster Rand
Re: Captain
While it is not against the rules
To Bodily throw the Captain out of
Sickbay, it is highly discouraged.
To: SickBay
From: Lcdr. Scott, M.
The dermal regenerator broke while on a routine checkup. An ensign accidentally dropped it in a Jefferies’ tube.
Request for another?
Scotty
To: Lcdr. Scott, M.
From: Lcdr. McCoy, L.
Those damned machines cost 10,000 credits each! And, don’t even think about the replicator. I'm not going to waste resources when we’re so far away from a Starbase because of tomfoolery. Place your clumsiest ensigns away from the big, bad machines in the mean time or something.
I don’t get paid enough to do your job for you.
And, for God’s sake, man, ask Nurse Chapel on a date. I’m sick of seeing you in my Sickbay.
Leonard H. McCoy, MD
To: Uhura, N.
From: Janice
Tagline: Gossip
Nyota~
Okay, okay, I know I made a resolution to not gossip this year, but honestly, this is good! Guess who I saw in the kitchens making sandwiches-Christine! Not interesting on its own, I know…buuuut, if you check Sickbay records, there’s a certain Scot we know and love who frequents quite often!
Something’s definitely in the air~
Christine and Scotty! Can you believe it?
To: Spock
From: Uhura, N.
Spock-
Now, I know you don’t express your emotions in a human way and curiosity is ‘below’ you, but have you noticed the rather large number of engineering accidents concerning one Mr. Scott?
I think there is something going on.
Nyota
To: Engineer Rm; Sickbay
From: Cdr. Spock
There has been an alarming burn accident rate this month in the main Engineering Room. As First Officer, it is my duty to see to the well-being of the ship and her crew.
I do not have to remind starfleet officers that frivolous Sickbay calls are strictly discouraged as per regulations.
I have spared human embarrassment by not alerting the entire ship of these multiple infractions. Resolve this issue before I am forced to follow the rules of my station.
Voice Memo from Lcdr. McCoy to Cdr. Spock
Timestamp: Stardate: 22589.47
Listen here, you pointy-eared bastard, I don’t quite like the tone of your e-mail. And, before you give me shit about e-mails not having tones, I want you to know that my Sickbay is as efficient as ever. If you need a reminder, not that you would, you [deleted due to excessive expletives], our reaction time for crises has improved greatly since. If Scotty and Chris want to do their cutesy little dance when it’s a slow day, who am I to stop them?
To: Bones
From: Uhura, N.
Bones-
Sorry I ‘accidently’ intercepted your Voice Memo to Spock. I know what’s going on with Chris and Scotty; it’s quite obvious if you have eyes and a head for romance. Spock’s just not used to the Terran ‘courting dance’-he finds it a waste of time.
But, the fact of the matter is that Scotty and Chris’s little two-step is on company time. I’m all for abolishing that ridiculous fraternizing rule, but it was designed to curb these incidents exactly. We can’t have our Chief Engineer harming himself all the time and holding up our Head Nurse, can we?
Surely there is a happy medium? Count me in the ‘locking them in a closet and hoping for the best’ column.
Lt. Uhura