New levels of wtf!
So, we were going to make chicken fettuccine for dinner the other day but I forgot the broccoli and had to run to the store. The following is the dialog between myself and the cashier. I swear to god I'm not exaggerating any of this!
M = Me
C = Cashier
M: (with my bag of broccoli) Hi.
C: Hell...HeY! How are you doing today? (as she looks me up and down)
M: Fine thanks. Just had to run out to get this for dinner.
C: It's always something huh? (big smile, which turns to disappointment when she notices my wedding ring) Too bad you're married or I'd have asked if you wanted company for dinner.
M: Happily, with three daughters. (I'm now just in a hurry to get my change and bag and get the hell out of there.)
C: Well, would you like to donate a dollar for the (insert whatever fund raiser she said, I wasn't really paying attention then, like I said, I just wanted to leave.)
Now, here comes the best part. You have to understand, I don't make it a habit to lie to someone in their faces, but damn, she looked like she wanted to bed me in the aisle for christ sake. So I did just that, I lied.
M: Oh, no thanks, my ship actually had a collection for this and i've already donated with them.
C: Really? That's cool, what ship are you on?
M: The Phil Sea.
C: Oh, my husband is on the Vicksburg, they just left today...
Ummm....wtf?
M = Me
C = Cashier
M: (with my bag of broccoli) Hi.
C: Hell...HeY! How are you doing today? (as she looks me up and down)
M: Fine thanks. Just had to run out to get this for dinner.
C: It's always something huh? (big smile, which turns to disappointment when she notices my wedding ring) Too bad you're married or I'd have asked if you wanted company for dinner.
M: Happily, with three daughters. (I'm now just in a hurry to get my change and bag and get the hell out of there.)
C: Well, would you like to donate a dollar for the (insert whatever fund raiser she said, I wasn't really paying attention then, like I said, I just wanted to leave.)
Now, here comes the best part. You have to understand, I don't make it a habit to lie to someone in their faces, but damn, she looked like she wanted to bed me in the aisle for christ sake. So I did just that, I lied.
M: Oh, no thanks, my ship actually had a collection for this and i've already donated with them.
C: Really? That's cool, what ship are you on?
M: The Phil Sea.
C: Oh, my husband is on the Vicksburg, they just left today...
Ummm....wtf?