(no subject)
I don't have the most developed social skills out there. I'd say that part of this can be attributed to growing up as a chubby, over-emotional, sweaty nerd that instead of lingering at friends houses in my youth, would come home immediately and play video games. I often come up blank during conversations, often finding myself trying to think of the next thing to say instead of actively listening to the conversation. This becomes apparent whenever somebody mentions dates or times, such as, "Ok, the show is on the 23rd, doors at 9." Invariably I will ask for the date to be repeated, then forget the time, repeat, etc. In the past I wouldn't have flinched in asking for a repeat of the details but, more recently, I have begun to notice a subtle expression in the speaker's face at my request.
I'm trying to improve certain aspects of my life, at this point, these improvements are mainly sought through connections. I want to connect with you, with him, with her, and them. This isn't because I am lonely or want more friends, not necessarily, but rather that I am interested in learning about others. In areas of my life, I lack certain skills; we all do. Thus to improve my skills, I must find others who possess a greater understanding of the skills that interest me. By connecting with these gifted people, I'm hoping to learn their perspective, their ideas and motives, their thought process and understanding of the world. Obviously, this, by itself, is a selfish act.
However, understand that there are certain skills that I possess. Naturally these skills can be shared; I intend to share them. Additionally, in any interaction there is an exchange of energy. Recently, I have deliberately tried to bring a very positive energy to each interaction that occurs over the course of my day. In the event that my unique set of skills may be unneeded by the person I am interacting with, my only option is the exchange of energy with that person in the hope that at the conclusion of our interaction, they feel more positive than before. Positive energy is infectious, its that feeling that makes you want to be around someone; that regardless of the subject of your conversation you feel great and you smile.
I'm trying to improve certain aspects of my life, at this point, these improvements are mainly sought through connections. I want to connect with you, with him, with her, and them. This isn't because I am lonely or want more friends, not necessarily, but rather that I am interested in learning about others. In areas of my life, I lack certain skills; we all do. Thus to improve my skills, I must find others who possess a greater understanding of the skills that interest me. By connecting with these gifted people, I'm hoping to learn their perspective, their ideas and motives, their thought process and understanding of the world. Obviously, this, by itself, is a selfish act.
However, understand that there are certain skills that I possess. Naturally these skills can be shared; I intend to share them. Additionally, in any interaction there is an exchange of energy. Recently, I have deliberately tried to bring a very positive energy to each interaction that occurs over the course of my day. In the event that my unique set of skills may be unneeded by the person I am interacting with, my only option is the exchange of energy with that person in the hope that at the conclusion of our interaction, they feel more positive than before. Positive energy is infectious, its that feeling that makes you want to be around someone; that regardless of the subject of your conversation you feel great and you smile.