hyunseung/kikwang: like a house of burning cards
title: like a house of burning cards
rating: pg-13
fandom: beast
pairing: hyunseung/kikwang, acequeen, etc.
word count: 1612
summary: hyunseung crashes and burns. written for sushikabob89 for this prompt, also dedicated to freefallskyline
notes: apologies for the horrid that is the contents of this fic. i cannot believe i struggled to get to 1k, but there's a first for everything! hopefully, the dearth that cbb left me in leaves soon ):
Hyunseung’s not the best when it comes to crashing. Not the kind where you’re clumsy and you fall flat on your face, tripping over your own feet-no, he’s very good at that. It’s the kind of crashing that deals with emotions, deals with falling flat on your face because your heart suddenly has a mind of its own-something he’s unsure of. Hyunseung comes to the conclusion that crashing into Kikwang is the most horrifying and terrible experience ever.
The thing with crashing, is that it’s all so sudden that Hyunseung doesn’t realise it’s happening until the very end. He only realises when Kikwang touches his shoulder with burning fingers that aren’t on fire. Hyunseung wonders how Kikwang’s touch can burn, how after five hours it still stings. The only logical conclusion is that Kikwang is a thing of monstrosity-the work of the devil. But then Kikwang smiles, and Hyunseung’s heart is hammering in his chest and he takes everything back. Kikwang is the devil.
Hyunseung begins to feel terrified by what this could mean. If Kikwang is the devil, then surely this means he’s been cursed into feeling this way. If Kikwang is the devil, it explains everything, really, now that Hyunseung thinks about it. It explains why he feels so guilty thinking inappropriate thoughts, and the slight redness in his cheeks whenever Kikwang so much as looks in his general direction. Really, why hadn’t he thought of this sooner?
His thoughts are now mostly consumed of Kikwang as the devil, which is highly amusing and slightly terrifying, but now he’s faced with a new situation: all he thinks about is Kikwang. His world has started to revolve around Kikwang and everything about Kikwang, that it’s becoming a problem that needs to be addressed and put to a stop. Not knowing how, exactly, to stop this … whatever this may be, he decides to ask the only one who knows about emotions.
“Junhyung,” Hyunseung starts off, handing over the water bottle that Junhyung motions for, “let’s say you think someone is the devil, but then they’re kind of not? And then all you do is think about that person after… how do you stop?”
“What the hell did you just say?”
Hyunseung blows air out of his mouth, frustrated. “I just-how do you stop thinking about someone?”
“Well, do you like this someone?”
He stares at Junhyung with narrowed eyes, causing the other boy to laugh. “Right, right, okay. Let’s say you like this person that you can’t stop thinking about, okay? You can’t stop thinking about them, no matter how hard you try not to.”
“That’s not good enough,” Hyunseung mutters, shaking his head. “There has to be a way.”
Junhyung snorts, and claps Hyunseung on the back in a somewhat comforting gesture, but Hyunseung still feels out of sorts. “When you find a solution to that, tell me.”
Maybe Junhyung wasn’t the smartest person to ask.
The thing with all this crashing and Kikwang rolling around in his thoughts, is that it causes Hyunseung to act on impulse. Hyunseung doesn’t ever remember doing anything on impulse without feeling extremely embarrassed for weeks afterwards. He doesn’t know why he does it, really, it’s not his brightest idea ever, but here he is. His hands on either side of Kikwang’s waist on stage, his heart skipping beats sporadically and then Kikwang settles into the backward embrace.
Hyunseung’s not too sure about whatever happens after that, it’s all just a blur and everything is hazy. The only thing he remembers is the feeling of Kikwang’s body pressed against his own, of Kikwang not rejecting him, excitement running up his spine and the curl of pure satisfaction in his stomach.
Maybe, crashing isn’t so bad.
Hyunseung wonders if what he feels for Kikwang is a sin. He’s not supposed to feel this way, after all, Kikwang is one of his friends-he wouldn’t go so far as to call him one of his best friends because there are moments, however brief, where he wants to punch Kikwang’s face. Suddenly, he begins to feel shameful because this can’t be right. This is Kikwang, and what’s more he’s a friend, and what’s even worse is that he’s a boy. Surely, this will end in a disaster.
But Hyunseung’s head is muddled and any sign of rational thought is nowhere in sight, especially now that alcohol is involved. He sits by himself in the corner of the dark karaoke room, watching Doojoon and Junhyung make fools of themselves with Yoseob screaming at the top of his lungs into the microphone and Dongwoon nursing a bottle of soju. He’s not sure why he listened to Junhyung, who insisted on taking group shots before choosing songs-he should’ve known it wouldn’t have ended well. Now, he feels dizzy, and all he wants is to go home.
He shivers, feeling cool air whizz past his ears as his hoodie is pulled back. Turning to glare at his offender, he feels everything in his body go numb when he sees Kikwang smiling at him. Kikwang’s mouth is moving, and Hyunseung can’t even begin to take apart and process the words. Then, Kikwang moves in, face so close and he’s talking loudly in Hyunseung’s ear and-
Hyunseung shifts his body, and leans his face in toward Kikwang’s.
“What are you doing?” Kikwang asks in a low voice, and Hyunseung doesn’t have an answer.
Hyunseung swears his body moved of its own accord: hand on the back of Kikwang’s neck, fingers slowly spreading apart and threading into Kikwang’s hair, and then finally, finally, closing the distance. The first touch burns, and it’s nothing compared to Kikwang burning him with his eyes or his fingers-no, this is different. This kind of burn starts in the pit of his stomach, then moves to the rest of his body. When Kikwang kisses him back, his brain short circuits.
Hyunseung becomes sensitive to everything that is Kikwang. His fingers splayed hesitantly across the left side of Hyunseung’s face, his shallow breathing and his body moving closer, closer, closer. Hyunseung fears for his sanity, because kissing Kikwang-feeling the heat coming off his body in waves-is the best thing he’s ever experienced in his whole life.
It’s most definitely the alcohol.
When Hyunseung wakes up the next morning, Kikwang’s entire body is pressed up against his, and his arm is completely numb. The events of last night are still clinging to him like second skin, and he begins to heat up just remembering Kikwang and his lips, hands, neck, hair, everything. Quietly, he disentangles himself from Kikwang and walks out into the kitchen.
He nods his head at Doojoon who’s standing by the counter, sipping on what looks like hot chocolate. Good idea, Hyunseung thinks, no wonder he’s the leader.
“Do you know what you’re doing?” Doojoon asks as he reaches past him to open the cupboard.
“I’m getting a mug.”
“Not that, idiot,” Doojoon says, rolling his eyes, “I meant with the person sleeping in your bed.”
“Oh,” Hyunseung replies, voice soft, staring blanking at the hot chocolate mix. He doesn’t say anything when Doojoon takes it from his hands and starts pouring too much powder into the mug, followed by not enough milk and hot water. “I’m … not sure.”
“I figured,” Doojoon says, stirring the contents of the mixture, “I don’t know why I bothered asking.”
“I couldn’t stop thinking about hi-it.” Hyunseung takes the mug back, adding more milk.
“Yeah, Junhyung told me.”
“He knew?”
Hyunseung turns red, because if Junhyung can figure everything out before he can then that should say something about his state of mind. But Doojoon laughs, and waves off his thoughts with a hand.
“No, he just told me about your crush,” Doojoon replies, “he thinks you still like Jihyun.”
“Oh.”
“You sure you’re not sure?”
Hyunseung takes a sip of the hot chocolate, and promptly spits it out into the sink. “This tastes awful.”
Doojoon frowns, but smiles anyway. “Make your own hot chocolate then.”
“I was going to but then you took it away from-”
But Doojoon just walks away, mug in hand, back to the room leaving Hyunseung with his thoughts.
So, is he sure?
The truth is, Hyunseung is terrified. He’s not sure how this boy and boy thing works, and he’s never really figured out the boy and girl thing either. To put it frankly, Hyunseung is completely screwed. But at night, Kikwang sneaks into his bed, and Hyunseung feels that rush of excitement again.
“Are you sure?” Kikwang laces their fingers together, laying his head on Hyunseung’s shoulder.
Hyunseung doesn’t know, but he what he does know is Kikwang’s fingers are setting him on fire. And Kikwang’s face is far too close, and he can just move this way and-he kisses him. All lips and no tongue or teeth, just kisses him with fire because that’s all Hyunseung knows.
“Okay,” Kikwang says, “okay.”
Everything may not be okay, and on some days Hyunseung may contemplate pushing Kikwang off a cliff, but it doesn’t mean that things aren’t working. On some days, Kikwang sets all of Hyunseung on fire and those days are quite possibly the best. And every day, Hyunseung is terrified, because every day, every hour, every minute, every second he continues to crash into Kikwang. Sometimes, he’ll trip over his feet and fall flat on his face and Kikwang will be behind him, laughing and clutching at his sides. The rest of the time, it’s Kikwang’s hand clutching tightly at his heart, and Hyunseung is falling.
Kikwang is there, though. Always.
rating: pg-13
fandom: beast
pairing: hyunseung/kikwang, acequeen, etc.
word count: 1612
summary: hyunseung crashes and burns. written for sushikabob89 for this prompt, also dedicated to freefallskyline
notes: apologies for the horrid that is the contents of this fic. i cannot believe i struggled to get to 1k, but there's a first for everything! hopefully, the dearth that cbb left me in leaves soon ):
Hyunseung’s not the best when it comes to crashing. Not the kind where you’re clumsy and you fall flat on your face, tripping over your own feet-no, he’s very good at that. It’s the kind of crashing that deals with emotions, deals with falling flat on your face because your heart suddenly has a mind of its own-something he’s unsure of. Hyunseung comes to the conclusion that crashing into Kikwang is the most horrifying and terrible experience ever.
The thing with crashing, is that it’s all so sudden that Hyunseung doesn’t realise it’s happening until the very end. He only realises when Kikwang touches his shoulder with burning fingers that aren’t on fire. Hyunseung wonders how Kikwang’s touch can burn, how after five hours it still stings. The only logical conclusion is that Kikwang is a thing of monstrosity-the work of the devil. But then Kikwang smiles, and Hyunseung’s heart is hammering in his chest and he takes everything back. Kikwang is the devil.
Hyunseung begins to feel terrified by what this could mean. If Kikwang is the devil, then surely this means he’s been cursed into feeling this way. If Kikwang is the devil, it explains everything, really, now that Hyunseung thinks about it. It explains why he feels so guilty thinking inappropriate thoughts, and the slight redness in his cheeks whenever Kikwang so much as looks in his general direction. Really, why hadn’t he thought of this sooner?
His thoughts are now mostly consumed of Kikwang as the devil, which is highly amusing and slightly terrifying, but now he’s faced with a new situation: all he thinks about is Kikwang. His world has started to revolve around Kikwang and everything about Kikwang, that it’s becoming a problem that needs to be addressed and put to a stop. Not knowing how, exactly, to stop this … whatever this may be, he decides to ask the only one who knows about emotions.
“Junhyung,” Hyunseung starts off, handing over the water bottle that Junhyung motions for, “let’s say you think someone is the devil, but then they’re kind of not? And then all you do is think about that person after… how do you stop?”
“What the hell did you just say?”
Hyunseung blows air out of his mouth, frustrated. “I just-how do you stop thinking about someone?”
“Well, do you like this someone?”
He stares at Junhyung with narrowed eyes, causing the other boy to laugh. “Right, right, okay. Let’s say you like this person that you can’t stop thinking about, okay? You can’t stop thinking about them, no matter how hard you try not to.”
“That’s not good enough,” Hyunseung mutters, shaking his head. “There has to be a way.”
Junhyung snorts, and claps Hyunseung on the back in a somewhat comforting gesture, but Hyunseung still feels out of sorts. “When you find a solution to that, tell me.”
Maybe Junhyung wasn’t the smartest person to ask.
The thing with all this crashing and Kikwang rolling around in his thoughts, is that it causes Hyunseung to act on impulse. Hyunseung doesn’t ever remember doing anything on impulse without feeling extremely embarrassed for weeks afterwards. He doesn’t know why he does it, really, it’s not his brightest idea ever, but here he is. His hands on either side of Kikwang’s waist on stage, his heart skipping beats sporadically and then Kikwang settles into the backward embrace.
Hyunseung’s not too sure about whatever happens after that, it’s all just a blur and everything is hazy. The only thing he remembers is the feeling of Kikwang’s body pressed against his own, of Kikwang not rejecting him, excitement running up his spine and the curl of pure satisfaction in his stomach.
Maybe, crashing isn’t so bad.
Hyunseung wonders if what he feels for Kikwang is a sin. He’s not supposed to feel this way, after all, Kikwang is one of his friends-he wouldn’t go so far as to call him one of his best friends because there are moments, however brief, where he wants to punch Kikwang’s face. Suddenly, he begins to feel shameful because this can’t be right. This is Kikwang, and what’s more he’s a friend, and what’s even worse is that he’s a boy. Surely, this will end in a disaster.
But Hyunseung’s head is muddled and any sign of rational thought is nowhere in sight, especially now that alcohol is involved. He sits by himself in the corner of the dark karaoke room, watching Doojoon and Junhyung make fools of themselves with Yoseob screaming at the top of his lungs into the microphone and Dongwoon nursing a bottle of soju. He’s not sure why he listened to Junhyung, who insisted on taking group shots before choosing songs-he should’ve known it wouldn’t have ended well. Now, he feels dizzy, and all he wants is to go home.
He shivers, feeling cool air whizz past his ears as his hoodie is pulled back. Turning to glare at his offender, he feels everything in his body go numb when he sees Kikwang smiling at him. Kikwang’s mouth is moving, and Hyunseung can’t even begin to take apart and process the words. Then, Kikwang moves in, face so close and he’s talking loudly in Hyunseung’s ear and-
Hyunseung shifts his body, and leans his face in toward Kikwang’s.
“What are you doing?” Kikwang asks in a low voice, and Hyunseung doesn’t have an answer.
Hyunseung swears his body moved of its own accord: hand on the back of Kikwang’s neck, fingers slowly spreading apart and threading into Kikwang’s hair, and then finally, finally, closing the distance. The first touch burns, and it’s nothing compared to Kikwang burning him with his eyes or his fingers-no, this is different. This kind of burn starts in the pit of his stomach, then moves to the rest of his body. When Kikwang kisses him back, his brain short circuits.
Hyunseung becomes sensitive to everything that is Kikwang. His fingers splayed hesitantly across the left side of Hyunseung’s face, his shallow breathing and his body moving closer, closer, closer. Hyunseung fears for his sanity, because kissing Kikwang-feeling the heat coming off his body in waves-is the best thing he’s ever experienced in his whole life.
It’s most definitely the alcohol.
When Hyunseung wakes up the next morning, Kikwang’s entire body is pressed up against his, and his arm is completely numb. The events of last night are still clinging to him like second skin, and he begins to heat up just remembering Kikwang and his lips, hands, neck, hair, everything. Quietly, he disentangles himself from Kikwang and walks out into the kitchen.
He nods his head at Doojoon who’s standing by the counter, sipping on what looks like hot chocolate. Good idea, Hyunseung thinks, no wonder he’s the leader.
“Do you know what you’re doing?” Doojoon asks as he reaches past him to open the cupboard.
“I’m getting a mug.”
“Not that, idiot,” Doojoon says, rolling his eyes, “I meant with the person sleeping in your bed.”
“Oh,” Hyunseung replies, voice soft, staring blanking at the hot chocolate mix. He doesn’t say anything when Doojoon takes it from his hands and starts pouring too much powder into the mug, followed by not enough milk and hot water. “I’m … not sure.”
“I figured,” Doojoon says, stirring the contents of the mixture, “I don’t know why I bothered asking.”
“I couldn’t stop thinking about hi-it.” Hyunseung takes the mug back, adding more milk.
“Yeah, Junhyung told me.”
“He knew?”
Hyunseung turns red, because if Junhyung can figure everything out before he can then that should say something about his state of mind. But Doojoon laughs, and waves off his thoughts with a hand.
“No, he just told me about your crush,” Doojoon replies, “he thinks you still like Jihyun.”
“Oh.”
“You sure you’re not sure?”
Hyunseung takes a sip of the hot chocolate, and promptly spits it out into the sink. “This tastes awful.”
Doojoon frowns, but smiles anyway. “Make your own hot chocolate then.”
“I was going to but then you took it away from-”
But Doojoon just walks away, mug in hand, back to the room leaving Hyunseung with his thoughts.
So, is he sure?
The truth is, Hyunseung is terrified. He’s not sure how this boy and boy thing works, and he’s never really figured out the boy and girl thing either. To put it frankly, Hyunseung is completely screwed. But at night, Kikwang sneaks into his bed, and Hyunseung feels that rush of excitement again.
“Are you sure?” Kikwang laces their fingers together, laying his head on Hyunseung’s shoulder.
Hyunseung doesn’t know, but he what he does know is Kikwang’s fingers are setting him on fire. And Kikwang’s face is far too close, and he can just move this way and-he kisses him. All lips and no tongue or teeth, just kisses him with fire because that’s all Hyunseung knows.
“Okay,” Kikwang says, “okay.”
Everything may not be okay, and on some days Hyunseung may contemplate pushing Kikwang off a cliff, but it doesn’t mean that things aren’t working. On some days, Kikwang sets all of Hyunseung on fire and those days are quite possibly the best. And every day, Hyunseung is terrified, because every day, every hour, every minute, every second he continues to crash into Kikwang. Sometimes, he’ll trip over his feet and fall flat on his face and Kikwang will be behind him, laughing and clutching at his sides. The rest of the time, it’s Kikwang’s hand clutching tightly at his heart, and Hyunseung is falling.
Kikwang is there, though. Always.