fic dump: 2pm, beast, mblaq
Five things that Wooyoung wanted to say to Jay before he left. , PG-13, 482 words.
i. He tells Jaebum to be strong, to have strength because we can make it through this together. He doesn't tell Jaebum that he has to have strength for the both of them, doesn't say it because Wooyoung isn't a kid anymore, and doesn’t say it because there's too much going on already.
Wooyoung doesn't tell Jaebum he's losing faith, losing hope, losing the light at the end of the tunnel because he thinks - knows - Jaebum is feeling the same way.
Wooyoung wants to try to be strong for the both of them.
ii. Wooyoung zips his mouth close, keeps the words he wants to desperately say trapped.
He wants to scream stop being so selfish! what about me? when Jaebum tells them he's stepping down as leader, stepping out of the group, stepping out of their lives.
He wants to scream why are you so stubborn? when Jaebum refuses to listen to everyone's pleas, refuses to acknowledge that they're still seven, refuses to look them in the eyes.
He wants to scream I’ll leave! It's better if I leave! I’ll leave and you'll stay! when Jaebum says this is the right thing to do, right thing to do, right thing to do.
He wants to scream but I need you - when Jaebum tries to smile, chokes on words that sound something close to 'you'll be fine without me'.
Wooyoung ends up pressing his knees close to his chest when he's alone in the washroom, leaning against the door, sobbing silently.
iii. Wooyoung can hear Taekyeon and Jaebum fighting, but he doesn't understand what they're saying. they're talking in English and -
He hears the sound of glass shattering, swearing in both English and Korean. The door opens suddenly and Wooyoung steps back when Jaebum comes out looking angry. Their eyes meet for a split second before Jaebum pushes past Wooyoung to run to the kitchen.
Wooyoung wants to tell him everything but he doesn't. He looks at Taekyeon who's bent over the broken pieces of glass on the floor. He realises then that the broken glass has already said all that needs to be said.
iv. On Jaebum’s last night in Korea Wooyoung crawls into the leader's bed. Jaebum opens his eyes wearily, squints at Wooyoung and sighs as he moves over to make room for the other man. As soon as he's settled in, Wooyoung presses their bodies close together, puts an arm over Jaebum’s shoulders, stuffing his face into Jaebum’s shirt.
"Hyung," he whispers, voice shaking, "I’m going to miss you."
"I’ll miss you, too."
"Hyung..."
"I know."
v. Wooyoung doesn't let go of Jaebum when he leaves the next morning.
Wooyoung still hasn't told Jaebum everything he wanted to say.
Wooyoung still hasn't done all the things he wanted to do to make Jaebum proud.
Wooyoung still hasn't -
"Wooyoung-ah," Jaebum says firmly, "I know."
Everything.
*
Five times 2PM's laundry got mixed up, PG-13, 424 words.
i. The first time this happens it's when Jaebum’s pink boxers go missing. He's going through his drawers frantically trying to find the damned thing. If he doesn't find the pair of boxers in exactly .05 milliseconds he's going to have to pick a whole new outfit to colour coordinate.
"Junho!" he yells over his shoulder. "Did you see where my boxers went? You're the one on laundry duty this week!"
"Ahhhh, what boxers are you talking about, hyung?"
"The pink ones! With the white stripes down the side."
"Oh those! I thought those were Taekyeon’s, so I gave them to him."
Jaebum turns around to glare at Junho, who shrinks back slightly. "You gave my boxers to who?"
ii. "THAT'S MY SHIRT!" Junho screams, pointing at the black shirt with the British flag that Junsu has on.
"What are you talking about?" Junsu looks down at his shirt and then looks at Junho. "This is mine! A fan sent it to me!"
"LIAR! MY FAN SENT THAT TO ME! GIVE IT BACK!"
"NO! I SWEAR TO GOD IT'S MINE!"
Junho screams and runs to his room, coming out moments later with a ripped package. "See!" he points at the address on the box. "TO LEE JUNHO! LEE JUNHO NOT KIM JUNSU!"
Junsu grabs the package from his hands and stares at it. "How do I know you're telling the truth?"
Junho’s about to scream when Wooyoung enters the living room. "Hey guys, check out this shirt a fan sent me." He spins around wearing a black shirt with the British flag on it.
Junho screams.
iii. Chansung’s on laundry duty, which everyone's not entirely pleased about because the magnae doesn't really care about sorting the laundry that's not his.
"Chansung, these aren't mine." Nichkhun holds up a pair of Mickey Mouse boxer briefs.
"Really? I swear I saw those on the floor in your room last week."
"No seriously, they're not mine! I have never owned anything Mickey Mouse since I was ten."
"Hey what the fuck!" Taekyeon exclaims, grabbing the boxer briefs out of Khun’s hand. "I was looking for this!"
iv. Jaebum yells at Taekyeon when he finds the other boy wearing his favourite pair of socks.
"FUCK YOU, TAEK! ONLY MY FEET ARE ALLOWED TO HAVE JESSICA'S CUTE FACE ON THEM!"
v. Junsu goes through his drawers looking for clean boxers when he finds a purple thong hidden underneath his blue and purple train boxers.
"WHAT THE FUCK, CHANSUNG! I TOLD YOU TO STOP HIDING NICHKHUN'S MANTHONGS IN MY DRAWERS!"
*
Five times Jaebum misses Korea. PG-13, 619 words.
i. It's on the plane to Seattle only having been there not so long ago. It's on the plane to Seattle that Jaebum thinks about his career and the people he's met and the friends that he made over the last four, almost five years that he feels the emotions start to kick in.
It's on the plane to Seattle that's still idling at Incheon airport that Jaebum starts to really miss home.
ii. Jaebum’s starting to get annoyed with Jehan. He's becoming more and more obnoxious, which is only grating on Jaebum’s last nerve. When Jaebum tells him to study, to stop playing, to stop being so god damn fucking stubborn, to actually listen when people talk - Jehan rebels and yells back.
"Fuck you!" Jehan screams after Jaebum’s just finished telling him to study harder. "I don't care if you're back that doesn't mean you to get to fucking dictate how I live my life!"
"Jehan, why don't you get it?" he yells back. "I’m not doing this because I want-"
"No! Why don't you get it?" Jehan interrupts furiously. "I’m not your fucking members, Jay. I’m your fucking brother. Why are you talking to me like I’m going to hang up the phone and actually go and do what you say?"
"What are you talking about - phone? What the-"
"You talk to me like I’m one of them." Jehan points at the laptop on the kitchen table. "You talk to me like we're a million miles apart, like there's a fucking wall between us! You say things that you say to them on the phone. What is there not to get? Did you forget that I’m your fucking brother? You don't need to do all those things with me so why are you doing it?"
It doesn't exactly click in Jay's head. It doesn't exactly click that Jehan’s jealous, that Jehan misses his brother and not Park Jaebum, 2PM's ex-leader - it doesn't exactly click -
"Listen, Jehan-"
"Just shut up! I wish you would just go back to Korea!" Jehan yells as he walks out of the room.
Jaebum winces when he hears the front door slam. Jaebum knows that if this had been in Korea and Jehan had been Chansung, Chansung would come back in the next 2.5 seconds. Chansung would come back, apologize and then leave again.
Jehan doesn't come back.
iii. Jaebum hates this. He hates that he thinks in Korean and not in English, it only makes adjusting back to life in Seattle that much harder.
iv. They call him right before they're about to go on stage. Jaebum’s heart skips a beat when he sees Wooyoung’s number on his cell phone. He picks up and grips onto the pillow next to him tightly when he hears Wooyoung’s voice - shaky, hardly there.
"Hyung, say it."
"Say ... it?" And for a moment Jaebum forgets what it is until he hears Chansung groan stop playing dumb.
"C'mon, hyung." Wooyoung’s voice is desperate now. "We can't go on stage unless you say it."
Jaebum takes a deep breath and says loudly, "What time is it now?"
He hears six voices scream into the phone, It’s 2PM.
v. Jaebum realises that since he's back he's not Park Jaebum anymore.
He's Jay Park.
Ordinary Jay Park with an ordinary job at his dad's best friend's mechanic store changing tires. Ordinary Jay Park with ordinary friends, ordinary Jay Park who goes to church on Sundays and helps out with the youth group when he has time, ordinary Jay Park who goes to ordinary b-boy competitions for the thrill.
Ordinary Jay Park.
But.
He.
Just.
Wants.
Park Jaebum.
*
Four times Doojoon regretted not taking hot blood seriously and one time he didn't, PG, 419 words
i. Doojoon goes home that night with his heart swimming in his stomach. All he can think of is I’m such an idiot. He's wringing his hands as he enters his apartment. His mother approaches him, asking how it went and he avoids her hopeful look.
It seems she understands what's going through Doojoon’s head because she takes him in her arms, and suddenly he's five-years-old again; crying into his mother's shoulder because he scraped his knee. Except, this time his knee isn't scraped and he's not crying because the pain in his knee is stinging and he just wants attention. This time it's because Doojoon’s dream has become non-existent, broken and scattered to millions of little pieces and he's too scared, too vulnerable to find them all to glue it back together.
ii. He watches Hotblood when it airs, cringing when he sees how he acts on TV. His smile is careless, he's silly more times than he is serious, he plays with Chansung and Swichi so often it makes him sick to his stomach.
His head is growing bigger by the second, the more the other boys compliment him on his abilities, Doojoon sees his head grow. It's sickening.
iii. Junho calls him one night.
"Yah, what are you doing?"
"Studying, I have midterms tomorrow."
"Oh... so does that mean you're too busy to talk to me?"
Doojoon sighs. "No, not really, I’m taking a break now."
"Okay good." Doojoon can see Junho’s eyes crinkle in his mind's eye.
"What's up?"
"Nothing - hey, Doojoon-" Junho’s breath is shaky - "we're debuting in two months."
"I ... oh." Doojoon grips onto his pencil tightly. "That's great, Junho. I’m really happy for you. Congratulations."
Doojoon wishes he had tried harder.
iv. "Hey, weren't you supposed to be a part of that?"
His friend points to the TV that's in the window of the store. Doojoon looks over to see 2PM singing and dancing to their debut song, 10 points out of 10.
"Something like that."
v. He goes back, tells everyone he's serious this time about his dream, finds the missing pieces and glues everything back together. Doojoon works hard, tries hard, fails and picks himself up to try again.
"Doojoon," one of the cube staff members says one day, "good job, you've worked hard ever since you came back."
Doojoon nods his head.
"We're going to have you debut in our next boy band that we have in the works." Doojoon’s eyes widen in disbelief. "Congratulations, leader."
*
Four times that Hyunseung’s heart breaks and one time he doesn't manage to pick up all the pieces, PG, 1116
i. He's twelve and she's eleven and he figures this is exactly what love is. It's not like, or some crush that he can forget about in two, maybe three months. It's not anything he's ever felt before. He swears his heart swells, close to bursting when he's around her and he doesn't need any more justification than that to know that this is love.
"Minyoung-ah," he starts, voice shaking as he hands her her bag as they stand outside the gates that lead into the condo complex. "I - ugh - I -"
"Oppa, what is it?"
"I...uhm-" -
Hyunseung curses his lack of inability to speak. To convey his feelings - how his heart races, how he is light headed, how his dreams are filled of the two them holding hands in an open meadow, how her face is imprinted into his memory -
"Oppa, I have to go inside. What is it?" she presses, staring at him curiously.
"I love you," Hyunseung blurts out. "I ... I love you."
Minyoung stares at him, eyebrows furrowed, cheeks tingeing and when their eyes meet she looks away quickly.
"Oppa, love is a strong word. I don't think you should say things you don't mean."
"But I do mean it!"
"Oppa, I -"
"Minyoung-ah-"
"I’ll see you tomorrow."
Tomorrow comes and Hyunseung is at the front of her condo complex like usual. Minyoung comes out and they walk to school in silence. School ends just like any day and they walk back home - in silence.
"Oppa, don't come tomorrow to walk me to school, okay?"
"What? Why?"
"Just ... don't."
Hyunseung’s not stupid. He knows this is as rejection but really ... is it? He doesn't know how long he stands in front of the condo, just staring at where Minyoung had been and now left. Hyunseung swears he hears something crack inside of him, but he doesn't know what it is.
ii. Hyunseung wakes up with a feeling of dread setting up camp in the pit of his stomach. He walks out of his bedroom slowly, padding to the kitchen to find his mother slumped over the kitchen counter; phone in her hand, sobbing.
"Omma?"
His mother looks up, tears streaming down her face, hair wild and she frantically wipes at them to look somewhat normal. "Hyunseung-ah, I thought you were sleeping? What time is it?"
His eyes quickly dart to the time on the microwave. "It's past 10AM, omma. What's wrong?"
"Hyunseung-ah," she starts and then she chokes on her own words, keeling over.
Hyunseung rushes forward frantically, wraps his arms around his mother. "Omma?"
"Hyunseung-ah-" she tries again, "halmuhni - ha-ha-ha-halmuhni's -" and she starts sobbing again, harder and -
Hyunseung holds onto her tightly, willing the tears not to fall, not to fall, not to fall.
iii. "Everything's great, Hyunseung," the direct tells him, "It's just - could you smile?"
"Pardon?"
"Smile you know, like this-" and the director smiles at him, showing off crooked teeth that are yellow and chipped - "Do you get it?"
Hyunseung nods his head. "Yes, I understand."
"Good."
Except, he doesn't really understand. He doesn't have control over his body when he's in front of the camera. Hyunseung tries to smile as he dances, tries to show off something - anything - but his lips are paralyzed, his face is immobile and the only things that don't fail him are his legs and arms.
He pushes himself harder, stares at his face longer - becomes sick of it and nearly loses hope, strength.
"Hyunseung-ah-" Hyunseung wills his eyes to stay open, wills them to look at the president, clenches his fists and grinds his teeth - "I’m sorry, but I am letting you go."
iv. Hyunseung knows a lost sheep when he sees one and he's looking at it in the mirror. He doesn't dance anymore these days, stops going to the dance studio he used to frequent - He has no motivation to go anymore.
He bumps into his hyung from the dance studio at the corner store. Hyunseung’s blood goes cold when he calls him out, drags him by the collar to the back alley and pushes him up against the bricked wall.
"Explain yourself," he says scowling, arms crossed.
"I ... don't feel like dancing anymore," Hyunseung replies numbly, looking at the ground.
"Okay, so does this mean you have to ignore me? Your friends at the studio?"
"No, I just need time for myself and-"
"You're still bitter," he interrupts in frustration and Hyunseung looks at him instantly.
"I’m not. I’ve moved on, I’m past that-"
"Admit it," he continues, "Just admit to it. Once you admit that you're still bitter come to the dance studio."
Hyunseung watches him leave and once he's out of sight he falls to his knees. Is he really, still bitter about being eliminated? Is he still bitter that Seungri got a second chance and he didn't? Is he still bitter that they're so successful that they forget to call, to check up on him - (Seunghyun stops calling after the first night) -
He is.
Hyunseung goes to the studio the next day with a purpose. He wasn't perfect the last time, he'll be perfect for next time.
v. Hyunseung is on cloud nine, he's on stage, he's with people who care for him and yet -
He's still not satisfied. Is satisfied even the right word? His eyes dart to Junhyung and he looks away quickly. Lately, he's been having these strange thoughts about his band mate and he wishes he wouldn't. It's embarrassing and he turns red more often than he should and Kikwang points it out every time.
Hyunseung knows it's still but he gets tongue-tied when Junhyung is around him, lying on the sofa next to him, kicks at him playfully expecting him to fight back. He tries to - fight back, that is. Except his limbs and brain aren't coordinated enough when it comes to things that don't have to do with dance so he ends up embarrassing himself.
Yet, when Yoseob leans a little closer to Junhyung, Hyunseung feels something burn in his chest. He feels it burn and grow, spreading towards the pit of his stomach, freezing and then burning again. Hyunseung doesn't understand what it is and doesn't want to. He can't, it's unnatural, it's not normal.
But he does.
And Junhyung reciprocates the attention that Yoseob gives to him. He touches Yoseob when he thinks no one's looking and Hyunseung catches it whenever it happens. Hyunseung wants to scream, but he doesn't; wants to cry in frustration, but he doesn't; wants to -
But he doesn't.
*
Four times Mir really wanted to kiss Joon and the one time he did. , PG-13, 607 words.
i. Mir thinks that if Joon hyung wasn't so arrogant when it came to dancing, he might actually want to shove him against the mirror of the dance studio. His mind runs wild as he thinks of the endless possibilities - hands up a shirt, leg wrapped around a torso, desperate - and he immediately pinches himself on the arm. No, this isn't right.
Except it maybe sort of is. Especially when Joon does that stupid turn with his leg in the air. God, the possibilities.
ii. This is getting ridiculous. He’s been standing over Joon’s bed for a good five minutes, a stalled attempt at waking the older boy up for the day. He has the pillow held above his head, ready at any moment to bring it down and smash it onto the older man's face.
Joon has his mouth opened, though. That’s all it takes for Mir’s thoughts to go straight to the gutter.
Frustrated, he swiftly hits Joon in the face. He leaves the room yelling get the fuck up; Bi hyung is coming over for house inspection.
iii. Mir hates it when Joon laughs at him for doing - well, for doing anything really. It’s not like Joon doesn't have any flaws of his own, despite trying to hide it, which Mir sees through instantly.
"Cheolyong-ah," Joon starts, clutching at his stomach already preparing for the onslaught of uncontrollable laughter, "Cheolyong-ah, your face! You should have seen it! So fucking priceless -"
Mir thinks that if he can shut him up with anything that doesn't involve his hands it'd be great.
iv. Joon’s on the couch again with the megaphone. He’s barking orders at Sanghyun who obeys because there's no other choice. Mir hides behind the bathroom door, no intention of going out into the battlefield to deal with Joon hyung when he's in one of those moods again.
So while he's hiding, peeking through the crack of the door he can't help but stare at Joon hyung's lips. Or ... yeah, just his lips.
v. Joon’s laughing again, this time he's rolling around on the floor, banging his fist against fake wood. This time, Mir’s not going to take it from him.
Mir tackles Joon - rams into the older man head first, hands grabbing onto flailing arms. Mir doesn't know where his strength comes from, how he manages to successfully hold down Joon hyung like a piece of cake (it wasn't).
"Cheolyong-ah," Joon says with a hint of warning in his voice, "get off before I hurt you."
Mir smirks and Joon squirms beneath him. "Fuck no."
"You brat! Get off me before-"
it's at that point Mir decides that Joon hyung talks a little bit too much for his own good. So he puckers up and presses his lips against Joon’s, but Joon doesn't really cooperate. He’s still talking so when Mir kisses him, Joon’s teeth accidentally scrape against lips.
"What the fuck are you doing, Cheolyong?" Joon yells.
"I-uh-" Mir stutters and promptly stands up, cheeks heating up in his embarrassment. "I think I heard Seungho hyung calling for m-"
Joon grabs onto Mir’s ankle, pulling him forward so that he falls back onto the floor. Joon rolls over so that he's the one on top of Mir.
"If that's what you wanted so bad, kid, just say so."
Cheolyong isn't really thinking, he's not really there when Joon pecks him on the lips, not really there when Joon’s lips linger for a few seconds longer than the first, is only about half way coming back to reality when he starts to kiss back.
*
Five reasons Sanghyun looks up to Sandara, PG, 592 words
i. His noona gets chosen out of seven thousand contestants to stand on that stage, stand on that stage and share her dream with the rest of the world.
Sanghyun stands in the crowd with his mom and dad, waving a banner that has Sandara Park, fighting! in bold print. Sanghyun stands in the crowd watching his sister on stage, smiling and crying and Sanghyun wishes - hopes, that one day it will be him.
ii. Sandara is hard working whereas Sanghyun is lazy.
After being chosen and being dubbed Philippines' BoA, Sandara works harder and Sanghyun feels like he's being left behind. He does childish things to get his sister's attention, throws tantrums when his sister is home after being away for so long.
"Noona, we never hang out anymore," Sanghyun whines.
"I know. I’m sorry." Dara smiles at Sanghyun and pinches his cheeks. "You’ve missed me that much?"
"No, I just -" Sanghyun blushes, pushing her hands away from his face. “I was just saying, that's all."
After Sanghyun complains he notices that Dara turns down a few commercials and asks him to the movies instead, takes him out to the country side for a picnic, takes him to the beach-
iii. Sanghyun doesn't understand why his sister breaks up with that Joseph guy, perhaps because he's a little douchey and he starts to turn a little bit clingy, but it's not his place to make assumptions.
What he does understand is that they're going back to Korea because Dara is getting transferred. He asks her if this is reason for the break up and she pretends she doesn't understand his question. Sanghyun knows his sister well enough that this hurts her, but she still smiles like nothing happened, like her heart doesn't break with every beat.
It’s past midnight when Sanghyun hears his Dara’s phone beep with a new text message. He knows he shouldn't go through her phone but he does anyway. It’s another text from Joseph and Sanghyun frowns reading it.
marinig mo ba? ito...? yong tibok ang puso ko, para s'yo?
mahal kita.. please don't go. *
Sanghyun deletes it.
iv. He's about to debut and Sandara calls him frantically every day. She asks him if he's ready, does he know how to handle himself, is he okay and Sanghyun can't help but laugh.
"Noona," he says, "you need to stop worrying."
"I can't help it." Sanghyun pictures her wringing her hands together. "You're still a baby, still my little ading and how did this happen-"
Sanghyun smiles into the phone. "Noona, I’ll be fine."
v. When he debuts people compare him to Sandara park of 2NE1 but it doesn't bother him as much as it should. After all, they're both different and perusing different genres of music.
"Aigoo," she says when she calls him again, "You're so grown up! So handsome! Oh yeah~ like it like that~"
Sanghyun laughs at the lyrics of his own song being thrown at him. "Stop that."
Dara laughs and it goes silent on the phone. "Sanghyun-ah."
"Hm?"
"I’m proud of you."
What Sanghyun doesn't say is that he's proud of her too.
"Ate," he says, "mahal kita."
She laughs. "You're just saying that because you're members are around, aren't you? You don't want to say it in Korean because you don't want to be embarrassed, eh?"
"No!" Sanghyun argues but in the next second he has to end their phone conversation because Seungho is calling a bi-hourly meeting.
"Noona, I meant what I said."
"I know. Me too."
*
joseph's text: do you hear it? this? my heart beating for you?
ate: noona
mahal kita: i love you
ading: little brother/sister