Speed me..
I went around getting applications today. I can't wait to get my life back. I thought being gone that everything was going to be different, but.. it really hasn't changed much at all. I am loving being back, sleeping in a house, eating pretty much whenever i'm hungry.. without having to go fly a sign or spange for an hour or two ahead of time. I love being with my best freiend all the time. Being able to watch the sun set without worrying about what i would have to do to get money for the next day or worrying about where i'm going to sleep. but.. at the same time.. i keep thinking about going to see who is at the square, or going to the fig tree and waiting around for a few hours to get something.. something i've been thinking non-stop about for the past few days.. some times i feel like i'm crashing and i think that i would feel so much better if i could just get a little. Or i read things or hear songs hinting about shooting or i'll hear a commercial advertising a "slamming" new products and i'll look down at my arm and just wish i could.. i know i shouldn't and it's not that i want to, but sometimes i just.. want to. Just get a little in my sistem.. i don't know, maby it will be one of those things that goes to the back of my mind and that i maby forget about in the future, like a bad relationship perhaps? but right now.. i really really could use some poisen..
i feel icky..
i feel icky..