My question really is, what sort of plot opportunities are there in an rp forum that is 1) nearly unintelligible, and 2) devotes at least 75% of its content to describing how stunning and graceful its participant characters are?
Horse A: *hanging out, eating some apples* Horse B: *APPEARS!* Horse A: *NOTICES! Maybe says hi.* Horse B: *Wants to know how those apples taste and if Horse A would like to have sex?*
And we're already at 1000 words. I mean, I'm almost tempted to bust out the thesaurus and write a novella about a horse voiding the evidence of an upset digestive system in prose so purple the reader forgets yellow ever existed, and has no idea what's actually going on.
A wolf RP a good friend of mine stuck around with as a spy for shits and giggles was pretty much that, minus the sex.
It was just two wolves meeting in a glade/by a stream/in a valley/in a forest. They bow, they go at length to describe how stunning their respective wolf looks in the narrative, then introduce themselves as Fleetpaw of the Sharptooth Howling Clan or whatever, comment calmly and mysteriously how the hunting has been good/how there's still snow on the mountains/that the trees are now green, then note that the sun is setting and they must return to their pack. They bow, bid goodbye to one another, and...scene.
And that's all it was. For ages and ages, pages and pages. They hardly did anything else. And this particular RP had a 2 paragraph minimum for each pose/post, so they abused the fuck out of thesauruses and inane narrative to pad it all.
I'm sure, if it was in there, it was phrased in such a way that you'd have no idea they were talking about a butthole. Like when women call their vaginas 'temples' and 'hidden alters' and whatnot.
that is all I have to say about that sir
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Horse RP hurts the brainmeats, so it does. I rode horses once upon a dream, and I never fell in love with them the way girls are supposed to.
Catherine the Great, ur doing it wrong.
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I see holes like eyes. My mind is full of them.
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Horse A: *hanging out, eating some apples*
Horse B: *APPEARS!*
Horse A: *NOTICES! Maybe says hi.*
Horse B: *Wants to know how those apples taste and if Horse A would like to have sex?*
And we're already at 1000 words. I mean, I'm almost tempted to bust out the thesaurus and write a novella about a horse voiding the evidence of an upset digestive system in prose so purple the reader forgets yellow ever existed, and has no idea what's actually going on.
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It was just two wolves meeting in a glade/by a stream/in a valley/in a forest. They bow, they go at length to describe how stunning their respective wolf looks in the narrative, then introduce themselves as Fleetpaw of the Sharptooth Howling Clan or whatever, comment calmly and mysteriously how the hunting has been good/how there's still snow on the mountains/that the trees are now green, then note that the sun is setting and they must return to their pack. They bow, bid goodbye to one another, and...scene.
And that's all it was. For ages and ages, pages and pages. They hardly did anything else. And this particular RP had a 2 paragraph minimum for each pose/post, so they abused the fuck out of thesauruses and inane narrative to pad it all.
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DUN DUN DUNNNnnnnn *strings keep at it for lingering impressiveness* ... and end movie.
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>_>
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