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This post will contain religious opinions and I get off on a rant at one point. Sorry about the ranting (laugh).
I just finished a book by Ryan Dobson called “Be Intolerant: Because some things are just stupid”. It’s not a long book, probably no more than 40 pages, and geared toward the teens and 20’s, but it was good. A basic synopsis: He explains that as Christians we have a duty to know what we believe and stand by those beliefs even if it means we aren’t winning the popularity contests. That when we have friends or family members who are knowingly, openly sinning against God, we have a responsibility to get in that someone’s face because we know they are doing what isn’t right. These confrontations can be difficult in many ways but it is necessary as the person who is sinning and claiming to be Christian is giving other Christians a bad name. Paul talks about this in an abstract way in 1 Corinthians 12:26. He also tells us in his letters to help keep each other on the straight and narrow and to help each other in our daily walk of faith though I cannot recall where it is found exactly. I may look it up before I post this, I don’t know.
As I was reading through this book it hit me just how many people I know who need to read and learn from it! Our culture has adopted the attitude that we should be tolerant of anything and everything, even if it goes against our beliefs. We are supposed to have freedom of religion and freedom of speech but we really don’t anymore because of this mindset. “Oh you’re a Christian? That’s cool”. Many people are ‘tolerant’ of other beliefs until those beliefs become inconvenient and then they become intolerant, accusing the believers of being the very thing they themselves are being.
When I began this post, I meant to talk about a former friend who fit this description. But instead it turned into a rant about how my church is full of these people. Both examples work so I’ve decided to try and use them both, hopefully without causing this post to be excessively long.
My former friend, Drew, has an actively homosexual mother and is very “touchy” about the topic. I am no longer friends with this boy because he decided that although I have done nothing to him, that I “deserved everything I got” in reference to the pain of the break-up that I’m currently still dealing with. Since he and I are no longer friends, and never will be again, I am free to use him as an example. He and I had more than a few arguments over it his mothers actions, but also over several of his other choices, such as believing that Obama was the answer to all of America’s problems or his atheistic view on life. I tend to be intolerant (exactly as the book describes it oddly enough) over things that many liberally minded people support. Things like homosexuality and “free-will abortions” to name two. It’s the way I’ve been raised and I truly believe these things to be wrong in the sight of God. It used to be that many of the things the liberals support were seen as being wrong in the eyes of men too, but over the last 50 years or so, the viewpoints have shifted. Now not only is it OK to do these things but those who do them think that no one should say anything against it. Why is this? Honestly I think it began in the Hippy era but that’s just a theory. It would seem that conservatives and those who disagree with these actions are far too tolerant in allowing themselves and their opinions to be stifled. There are things going on in our world today that need to be addressed and challenged, but those who should be doing it are not. It’s no longer acceptable according to the world view to speak out against the way your neighbor is living, to challenge his or her actions. As long as what they are doing does not affect you directly you are supposed to keep your opinions to yourself. I can think of several people, my mother for one, who almost always has an opinion yet many times, will keep it to herself for the sake of saving relationships. She knows that there is a time to speak and a time to keep silent. But in some cases I can think of, at church no less, if she says anything about something that shouldn’t be happening, she will be throwing friendships out or causing a point of contention within the friendship, which in itself is a form of tolerance according to this book. Within the church I was raised in (but am no longer attending due to complicating circumstances) there are 3 families who are pretty dog-gone influential. If you cross any of these people you’re going to be disliked and run into problems in general. They tend to run the party so to speak. There is one person from one of these families, who is young, mouthy, gossipy, unreliable (stretches the truth to fit her agenda) and overly-zealous to make sure anyone who has wronged her pays for it, who loves to judge and opinionate everything under the sun, yet when it’s her turn to be judged, she don’t take the criticism well and then goes out of her way to make sure everyone knows she is the victim and the person who has spoken to her is the bad guy.
I and my grandma have both run into problems with her because we’ve decided that to speak out is more important than being popular in the church. It’s happened several times and has gotten to the point that she and I never even say good morning to each other because she always twists what I say around so that I come out looking like an ogre and she looks like an angel.
I have never fit into the youth group at church, mainly because my thinking is so “intolerant” and being that my family is so unorthodox. All of the kids in the group go to public school but my family doesn’t so we’re the “odd one out”. I became accustomed to it long ago, but what bothers me is that these people (I’m speaking of my generation at the moment but it applies to their parents also) choose to be so closed minded about things and have assumed the “We must tolerate all of what our family, friends and neighbors do because if we don’t we are being unchristian and judgmental!” How in the world did they get to this conclusion!? Christ did not have an open acceptance of any sin under the sun, he loved everyone but he did not condone sinful actions; or blind acceptance. In fact he scolded some people for their blind acceptance of what the Jewish leaders were telling them.
No church is perfect and I realize that no matter where I go every church will have problems and people who are difficult to deal with, but the church I was raised in seems to have adopted a very worldly attitude of self-righteousness, believing that they are right and everyone else is wrong, no matter if they are outright sinning against the Lord. In many ways, the church is made up of idiots and hypocrites, the self-righteous and those who possess false beliefs or misunderstandings. These people take the bible and/or the Lutheran doctrine and twist it around to fit their agenda, making it possible for them to do whatever they want as long as they come to church, confess their sin and take communion. Although they would not openly admit that this is what they believe, their actions state otherwise and I can’t help but see some similarities between them and the ancient Jewish followers. In Jesus time you had people who would follow the Jewish rules and laws but still run around doing whatever they wanted, believing that if they followed the rules that the rules would make it OK.
My grandma would disagree with me whole-heartedly about the stuff I’ve listed above concerning the church but she is still pretty involved in St. Johns and I’m not. Especially since the break-up and I’ve stopped attending St. Johns, instead going to a Nazarene church in Shipshewana with my former music teacher/surrogate grandma and her husband.
Pastor means well I think, but in many ways he falls short for the same reason that there are so many things going on that shouldn’t be. He doesn’t want to step on any toes by confronting the people. When he has confronted the people, it’s a one way street. He will say something, but whoa you better watch out when he does something out of line! For example: His 17-year old daughter is the church whore and there have been several occasions when he has been approached about how his daughter acts in the Lord’s house, and one when my grandma by-passed Pastor and approached his daughter directly during bible school week when she was taking care of the 1st and 2nd graders, about finding some clothing that is a little less revealing. She wore shorts so high that her butt cheeks hung out all week and shirts so low you could see clear to her belly button when she leaned over, which was a common occurrence as she was dealing with the little people.
My grandma was not out of line, the girls clothing was far too revealing, but the girl went running to daddy about it and Pastor jumped all over grandma saying that he will handle his daughter and that she should keep her nose to herself. Pastor was out of line in more ways than one in this situation. However, when I talked with Don about it he felt that I was out of line for thinking that Grandma was in the right. At the time it didn’t sit well with me but I let it pass. Don wants to be a MINISTER and he thinks its ok for girls to act like this at church functions, especially those when it’s an outreach opportunity?? I mean what in the world…
Don comes from one of the other influential families I talked about earlier, and as such has been raised to tolerate everything, keeping his opinions to himself even when asked. This trait has been ingrained into him from toddler up, so whenever I wanted an opinion from him it was like pulling teeth.
When I look around at the church family in the church I was raised in I don’t see very many people who would make Christ proud. I see a lot of people, who have known each other their whole lives, who got saved at early ages, who went to high school together and/or who are related (it’s a small town and everyone is related to each other) who think that it’s ok to gossip, backstab, lie, cheat, be selfish and keep grudges, all in the name of Christ. Even if the offender goes to the person he or she has offended and asks to lay the dispute to rest, many times it doesn’t happen. The person will say all is forgiven, then at the next conflict it will be pulled out of the closet to beat the person with.
Out of the 300+ members… there are only 50 people (give or take) who I could honestly say I believe are good people who try to live Godly lives. All of whom ironically are either older or younger than my parent’s generation and who are not involved in the “cliques” that have evolved. The cliquey people of course reproduced and their children are beginning the same cycle over again, acting like their parents with their little cliques and so forth. It’s rather disturbing. Because the church is so small and everyone is related somehow that’s just another way that my family is the odd one out. We really aren’t interrelated with anyone there at the church, our ties go back 3 generations but our family really hasn’t intermarried with anyone else in the church, preferring to marry outside of the Lutheran faith, or going several church districts, even full states away to find a mate, which in and of itself says something for the example this church is putting forth. Many of my cousins have married Catholic, several like my mother married outside of the Christian faith altogether and converted their mate. My mother converted Dad before they got married, but when they started going together in middle school, he had no exposure to any type of faith what so ever.
Anyway, I’m getting side tracked, back to my original topic…
Christ did not mean for us to be saved then continue to live the exact same way we did before, he meant for us to try and better ourselves, to try and put off our sinful natures and become more like him. We are imperfect beings, we cannot ever be perfect here on this earth, but should we not at least try to become better people by following Christ’s example? Romans 6:1-14 applies. Another verse that fits, is 1 Corinthians 13:11 “When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.” Prior to our salvation we were a “child”; post-salvation we are to put those childish ways behind us. And… I don’t see that happening in a lot of the Christians I know. What I see is justification of their actions through twisting the word. They pick and choose what they will do and what they won’t. God hates “fence dwellers”, people who sit on the top of the fence with a foot in both worlds. You are either a Christian or you’re not, you can’t be half and half.
I realize that I am being judgmental here, but the Lord tells us to call our “brothers and sisters” to account when they are out of line. I am far from perfect, only the Lord truly knows all of the things I’ve done wrong and do wrong every day, and all the times throughout the years when I have tested the Lord’s patience and mercy, but through it all… he still forgives me.
This break up, from Don, has caused me to become a lot more openly opinionated about my faith and a lot more conscientious of the people around me. This may change, but probably not for awhile, and however conscientious I am I don’t see how being quiet about what I do or do not believe will help anyone. Especially since someday we will probably lose our freedom of speech and it will be against the law to talk about our beliefs.