Duplicity: Chapter Three [drafty & un-beta'd.]
SO I HAD TO DO THIS WHOLE GODDAMN THING IN HTML BECAUSE LJ IS BEING A SUCH A TWAT TO ME. OR MAYBE IT'S MY COMPUTER. SWEET JESUS THIS IS ANNOYING.
also, one should note that this is not final.
Duplicity. By dinoesque.
Summary: It started as an act to make James Potter jealous, until it escalated out of control. But as their plans and lives begin to unravel, Remus and Sirius are forced to grow up and realize that in both love and war, nothing and no one is what it seems.
A/N: RLSB. Eventual slash. Rated M for sex and language.
Sorry about how long it took for this chapter to be posted! And, I know that it’s short, too. One, I was having some ridiculous computer issues, but everything should [knock on wood] be fixed now, and two, writer’s block was crippling for a short while. But chapters should progress at a faster pace than once per two months. Ha. One can only hope.
[Remus.]
In the following week, Remus found himself unbearably jumpy. In class, he would spill ink accidentally all over himself. At lunch, his fingers would shake around his soup spoon. When greeted with a friendly Hello!in the corridors, he would freeze up, then make a rushed, startling exit. It was not, as Peter had kindly suggested, nerves over the ever-beckoning end of the year and it was also not, as James had thought, something that a stray Slytherin had slipped into his minestrone by accident. Sirius, who had more opinions on more subjects than the other three of them combined, had not remarked on the difference at all.
On this particular morning, Remus had spilled his tea at breakfast and was still trying to figure out if there was any lasting damage done to any of his materials as he walked to his first class. He was rounding the corner when he walked straight into an oncoming boy he did not recognize. The books and papers in his arms fell to the ground and scattered into the air and across the corridor.
“Oh- Sorry.” he murmured, looking downwards as he stooped to pick them up. The other boy kneeled as well, reaching for an Astronomy textbook at his feet. “No problem,” he replied, smiling politely, passing the textbook on to Remus, who thanked him.
“Wait a minute.” The other boy bit at his lip, thoughtful. “Don’t I know you from somewhere?” Remus had never seen him before in his life. The boy had dark eyes and freckles and wore a shirt in Hufflepuff colors.
“Er, I don’t think so.” Rising to full height, Remus checked his watch. “It was nice- uh, talking to you, but I’ve got to get to class.” He made to leave, but the other boy stood up and stepped in front of him.
“Wait!” The other boy narrowed his eyes, scrutinizing the face and feature of Remus, who now felt quite exposed. “I’m almost certain I know you.” He frowned more deeply. “What did you say your name was?”
“Remus Lupin. And I’ve really got to be-”
The other boy’s eyes went wide. “Lupin? Fucking seriously? You’re Remus Lupin?”
“Yes,” said Remus, feeling exponentially more adamant about leaving by the second. He stepped to one side of the boy, but the boy blocked him again, his face now clearly angry.
“You’re the wanker Black dumped me for?”
Oh, shit. With a grimace, Remus said quietly, “You must be Paul.”
Paul jerked his head upwards in affirmation. “Yeah. I am. Although I can’t imagine why, of all people, he’d pick you.” He looked over Remus’ thin frame critically and scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest.
Remus felt his ears go red. “Oh.” How do I respond to that? “Well, uhm, we go way back- That is, we’ve known each other a long time-” Remus instantly realized this was the wrong thing to say.
“Were you seeing him while he was seeing me? Was he cheating on me with you?” The other boy took a step closer, and Remus saw his hand twitch towards his wand.
Avoid confrontation. Be pacifying. Attempting a smile, Remus nervously replied “No, no, of course not. We’ve only been- uhm, you know, since Friday afternoon.”
Paul cocked his head, skeptic. “Friday afternoon? What time Friday afternoon?”
He’s quite attached, it seems. “Uh, it was in the evening, actually.” Very slowly, Remus was edging his way around the Hufflepuff, eyes locked on the classroom he was headed for, just down the hallway.
“Yeah?” He sneered, defiant. “What time?”
“I- I don’t know. Around nine, I think. A little after.”
Paul’s eyes narrowed. “Is that so?”
Remus glanced over his shoulder, then back at the classroom. “Yes, I’m sure of it.” Now if you don’t mind-” He sidestepped the boy and broke out into a brisk trot. Going to be late, going to be late. He threw over his shoulder: “Sorry, I’ve got to go!”
“That’s funny, because Sirius broke up with me around eight-forty-five. Down near the Transfiguration classroom.”
Remus stopped. That is strange. It would have given him just enough time to walk up to the Gryffindor house. He went straight from one thing to the next. It’s almost as if-
“It’s almost as if he was planning this.”
“Oh,” said Remus quite lamely. My thoughts exactly.
“Mr. Lupin, will you be attending class this afternoon or not?” the sharp reprimand jolted him, and he whirled around towards the source of it.
“Yes, Professor. Sorry about that.” He rushed into the classroom, and slid into his seat without looking up. Staring very intently at a spot on his desk, he avoided eye contact with anyone else. He knew that Sirius was sitting behind him, and James and Peter were close by. Quite suddenly, Remus did not want to talk to any of them. Feeling foolish for reasons he, slunk down quite low into his seat, face in his hands. His mind was racing.
Am I an experiment? A challenge? Is this Sirius’ final attempt at getting laid before leaving Hogwarts? Or worse than that, a last resort? Pitiable? Easy?
How long has he thought of me this way? His heart sank. Does James think so, too?
Remus mind went to all of Sirius’ short-term relationships with such a large percentage of the Hogwarts population. He thought of all the girls he had brought back to the dormitory after midnight, much to the embarrassment of everyone else in it. Racking his memory, Remus couldn’t remember Sirius ever talking about breaking up with any of them. Remus knew it had to have happened, but the physical action of saying “I’m sorry” or “I’m not sorry” followed by “It’s over” had never crossed his mind. He supposed it would be rather unpleasant, hurting someone like that, but Sirius had never mentioned it, not once, nor had he shown any signs of distress when moving on to someone new.
I am the someone new.
He shook himself. No. He’s better than that. Sirius wouldn’t do that to me. He wouldn’t just use me like that. Would he?
Ah, but he is, said a small voice in the back of his head. You know he is. He’s using you to get to James. Just like you’re using him. You’re using each other. Wasn’t that the whole point?
You’re being silly, Remus Lupin. It’s all fake, right
Right?
We are talking after class. Remus scribbled onto a corner of parchment, which he ripped off and slipped onto Sirius’ desk behind him. A moment later, the same piece fluttered before his face, landing before him. There was writing on the back now, larger and messier than his own.
You sound feisty. Rawr.
Remus scowled, then crushed the paper in his fist. He felt something hit the side of his face. “Ow!” he hissed under his breath. Turning to the left, he saw James with his wand pointed from his hip, grinning widely. Having a lover’s spat? he mouthed, clearly enjoying himself. Sirius is a moron, Remus mouthed back. James nodded in sympathy. Gritting his teeth, Remus turned back to the front of the classroom.
- -
After class was dismissed, Remus found Sirius lounging outside of the doorway, arms crossed lazily over his chest.
“You wanted to have a little rendezvous, eh?” Sirius raised an eyebrow, ignoring the pinched, unimpressed face staring back at him.
Remus hoisted his bookbag onto one shoulder and looked Sirius squarely in the eye. “What exactly are your intentions with me?”
Sirius raised an eyebrow? “Intentions?” he barked, loud enough to make several people turn around and stare. He lowered his voice. “You make it sound like we’re actually dating.”
Wrong tactic. “I didn’t mean it that way,” Remus said hastily. “But I would like to know just what you plan on doing with me when we’re done with our- you know. Farce.”
“Oh, Moony. I was trying to keep the horrible truth from you, but- Alas! Here it is- I suppose I’ll have to leave you out on the streets on your own to die, you poor thing. All helpless, by yourself.” He smirked.
Remus was suddenly stuck by an intense dissatisfaction with his flippant answer. There was something he wanted Sirius to say, the right thing, but he hadn’t the slightest clue what the right thing was. The right thing was not a joke; not what Sirius had just said. Not in the slightest. Remus raised an eyebrow, not responding.
Sirius looked affronted. “What? What kind of an answer are you looking for, Moony? When we’re done with this, we’ll be done with it, and things will go back to normal.”
“Yes, but-” Remus stopped. He tried to consider this easy transition back into normalcy, but for some reason, this didn’t quite fit. His mind didn’t quite process correctly that for once, Sirius was, indeed, making a fair amount of sense.
Don’t worry about that Paul bloke. He’s upset, of course, but why does it matter?
Uneasily, Remus nodded. “All right. I suppose that’s fair.”
Sirius chuckled.
“What’s so funny?”
“You’re so hung up over the specifics of all of this. As if it’s a potions problem or something. Everything has to be just so.”
“And what’s wrong with knowing how things are going to turn out?”
Sirius’ eyes twinkled and he leaned forward, face close to Remus’. “That takes all the fun out of it.”
For a moment, Remus thought that Sirius was going to kiss him. For a moment, one crazy moment, he was going to let him. But Remus pulled backwards and out of the way and said, “Your ex-lover nearly attacked me on my way to class.”
Sirius looked genuinely surprised. “He attacked- which one?”
“Paul.”
“Oh, him. He’s harmless. Don’t worry. You could take him on.”
“That’s not the point! I don’t want to take on anyone, Sirius! Not because of this silly relationship, anyway. I don’t want people to think I’m some sort of- of- ”
“Of what?”
“You know. That I cavort with certain people. Unsavory characters and the like.”
“Ah. But you do.”
“Yes, but. Not like that.”
Sirius gave a wry smile. “Living the dangerous life, now, are we, Moony? Dating someone so rebellious and dashing?”
“Padfoot, please. I don’t think this is working. James hasn’t showed the slightest bit of interest in either of us since we began this; not anymore interest than he would normally. In fact, I think he’s become increasingly attached to Lily. He’s not jealous at all. He’s not upset, even. He’s pleased by it. How on earth is this ever going to lead him to believe that he needs one of us over her?”
“Moony, Moony, Moony.” Sirius shook his head, as if greatly disappointed. “Don’t worry about it so much. Relax! James will come around in due time.”
“And if he doesn’t?” Remus asked nervously, not wanting to hear the answer.
Sirius flashed his teeth. “Well, m’dear, at least we have each other, then.”
- -
It was late. Moonlight peered in through a crack in the curtains and struck James’ bare torso just so. He stared down at Remus, whose lips were dry and whose eyes were helplessly fixed on the lean form before him. James was standing at the foot of the bed, wearing nothing but a pair of boxers and a wicked grin. Unabashedly, he knelt on the end of the mattress, crawling over top of the sheets, closer and closer, fingers sliding along Remus’ body as he went. His thumb brushed in the strangest, most unusually sensual way, over so many places. Knee. Stomach. Shoulder.
Lips.
Without a word, James peeled the sheets back from Remus’ body, revealing that he, too, was stripped down to his underwear. Remus felt himself blush. For an instant he wanted to apologize, but before the words could form on his tongue, James had taken his face in his hands and was kissing him deeply, pressing the weight of his entire body down on Remus’. They were achingly close to one another. Remus felt hot breath on his face when James pulled back, eyes traveling down along Remus’ body to somewhere else; another source of attention.
Remus couldn’t stop to think, James was moving too quickly. One second, he was looking as though he might ask May I? but the next second, he had thought better of it. Before Remus knew it, Sirius had slipped his hand inside Remus’ underwear, closing his fingers around the already-hard cock there. They locked eyes; James’ glittering with something unreadable. Something slightly…dangerous?
Without breaking the eye contact, James’ hand began to slide up and down Remus’ cock. Remus’ eyes shuddered shut, he fell back, eyes rolling, unable to think.
“Jesus, Moony…”
But it wasn’t James’ voice that breathed, it was Sirius. Remus’ eyes fluttered open and he realized that it wasn’t James’ body either, it was unmistakably Sirius, grinning wider than ever up at him. Sirius, hair falling in front of his eyes, lips parted, face slightly flushed. He quirked an eyebrow and slid a hand up the inside of Remus’ thigh.
“Enjoying yourself?”
Remus bolted awake, sitting up straight in bed, breathing heavily. For June, it seemed to be much warmer than usual. Much more than necessary. There was sweat on his forehead and the small of his back. He dragged a hand over his face, blinking at the empty room several times before fully being able to realize that it was, indeed, empty. Sighing deeply with relief, he groped on the bedside table for his wand, realizing with embarrassment that his hands were trembling. Well. It was quite a- a-
What was the word for it?
Intense. Terrifying. Sexual. Wonderful.
No, no, no. Not that last one, Remus thought hastily.
His fingers found the slender oak in the darkness at last. At least, he thought to himself, it was just a dream. “Lumos,” he muttered aloud, quiet enough as to not wake the other inhabitants of the dormitory.
Remus looked down at the sleeping form beside him, as he realized, with a pang, that he was not, in fact, comfortably alone. There was someone in bed with him, and that someone just happened to be the same someone who had been in the bed in his dream.
Oh dear lord.
Remus considered the possibility of screaming, or crying; and then thought about turning over and going back to sleep. None of these options seemed appropriate and Remus found himself staring down at the very naked body-
Naked. He is naked. In my bed.
What does one do when there is a naked man in their bed?
Remus knew very well that if he had posed the question aloud in any other situation, Sirius’ answer would be Shag him, of course. But this option, too, seemed quite inapt.
With great trepidation, Remus stretched out his forefinger and prodded Sirius in the forehead with it. “Oi. Padfoot,” he whispered weakly. “Hey. Hello. Hello?” But Sirius only proceeded to roll over, closer to him, wrapping one arm tightly around Remus’ abdomen. Sirius’ fingers were warm and slid underneath the hem of Remus’ shirt, who shivered at the touch.
“Uhm- Sirius.”
“Mrrmfff,” said Sirius.
Remus took his pillow and whacked Sirius in the face with it. With a jerk, Sirius’ eyes opened, then closed again blearily. “What time is it?”
“Sirius.” Remus made a point of not looking anywhere below Sirius’ neck. “What are you doing in my bed?”
Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, Sirius shrugged. “Sleeping. What did it look like?”
“Sleeping.”
“Yes.”
“Naked?”
“That’s the only way to do it, my dear Moony.” Sirius grinned, and it reminded Remus swiftly and painfully of the Sirius grinning in the dream. Do not think about those things. “I thought that if we were going to do this at all, we might as well do it right.”
“Right?”
“You don’t need to repeat everything that I say, you know.”
Remus couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Things that are not happening to me: this. It was all still some sort of horrible nightmare. He would wake up the next morning having never entered into any sort of ridiculous pact with Sirius in the first place. James and Lily would get married, and he would get over it, and Sirius would shag the entire population of Europe, and all would be well.
“Sirius,” he declared in a voice that was much stronger than he felt. “I feel that we need to set a few more rules.”
Sirius groaned. “Obviously this is the appropriate time for such interesting conversation.”
“I thought we decided on no sex.”
“This isn’t sex. This is sleeping. Your bed is very comfortable, by the way.”
“This is- of a sexual nature.” Remus was horrified to find that his cheeks turned pink.
“I bed to differ.” Sirius licked his lips. “But if you would like a demonstration as to what does fall under that category, I’d be more than happy to show you.”
“Out of my bed, now.”
“Oh, come on!”
“Out!”
“No!” Sirius clung tightly to Remus’ torso, defiantly refusing to move.
Remus sighed. “All right then. You can stay and we can discuss this.”
“All right, all right. As long as you’ve already kept me awake with all your talk of rules and sexual natures.”
“I wouldn’t have to talk about rules or sexual natures if you hadn’t-“ he took a deep breath, trying not to be so acutely aware of every inch of Sirius that was so impossibly warm against his own skin. “Look, I don’t think this is working. I don’t see how it could possibly be. But I know you do. So how about we reach a decision? We set an end date. After that point, if James-” here he lowered his voice, hoping he hadn’t woken the others already, “-hasn’t made a move on either of us, we’ll give up.”
Sirius wrinkled his nose. “That’s just the kind of absurd limitation that you’d come up with.”
“I happen to think it’s a wonderful idea.”
“You would,” said Sirius darkly.
“How about- the 31st of July? If the plan hasn’t worked by then, we’re through. All right?”
Sirius consider this for a moment then muttered, “Fine, on one condition.”
“What’s that?”
He smiled. “I get to stay here tonight.”
“Here-”
“Your bed is much more comfortable than my own. I already said that didn’t I?”
“You- No, Sirius, I’m not agreeing to that. Go back to your own bed.”
“If I go back to my own bed, we don’t have an end date.”
“Oh, Padfoot, come on-”
“That’s my offer,” he nuzzled his nose against Remus’ stomach, who shivered slightly.
“I-” It’s just one night. “I-I suppose so.”
“Good,” said Sirius, not seeming surprised at all. “I’ll spend the night here, the break up is set for the end of July and all is well.” He did not make any move to let go of Remus; indeed, he held him tighter, laying his head against Remus’ body, as if using Remus as a pillow was the single most natural thing in the world.
Remus lay back on the pillows and yawned. It had been a long day, and he didn’t feel like arguing or thinking about much. He felt his eyes go heavy with sleep, and shut them. Right as he was about to fall asleep, a stray thought drifted through his mind.
I suppose this isn’t that bad after all.
- -
also, one should note that this is not final.
Duplicity. By dinoesque.
Summary: It started as an act to make James Potter jealous, until it escalated out of control. But as their plans and lives begin to unravel, Remus and Sirius are forced to grow up and realize that in both love and war, nothing and no one is what it seems.
A/N: RLSB. Eventual slash. Rated M for sex and language.
Sorry about how long it took for this chapter to be posted! And, I know that it’s short, too. One, I was having some ridiculous computer issues, but everything should [knock on wood] be fixed now, and two, writer’s block was crippling for a short while. But chapters should progress at a faster pace than once per two months. Ha. One can only hope.
[Remus.]
In the following week, Remus found himself unbearably jumpy. In class, he would spill ink accidentally all over himself. At lunch, his fingers would shake around his soup spoon. When greeted with a friendly Hello!in the corridors, he would freeze up, then make a rushed, startling exit. It was not, as Peter had kindly suggested, nerves over the ever-beckoning end of the year and it was also not, as James had thought, something that a stray Slytherin had slipped into his minestrone by accident. Sirius, who had more opinions on more subjects than the other three of them combined, had not remarked on the difference at all.
On this particular morning, Remus had spilled his tea at breakfast and was still trying to figure out if there was any lasting damage done to any of his materials as he walked to his first class. He was rounding the corner when he walked straight into an oncoming boy he did not recognize. The books and papers in his arms fell to the ground and scattered into the air and across the corridor.
“Oh- Sorry.” he murmured, looking downwards as he stooped to pick them up. The other boy kneeled as well, reaching for an Astronomy textbook at his feet. “No problem,” he replied, smiling politely, passing the textbook on to Remus, who thanked him.
“Wait a minute.” The other boy bit at his lip, thoughtful. “Don’t I know you from somewhere?” Remus had never seen him before in his life. The boy had dark eyes and freckles and wore a shirt in Hufflepuff colors.
“Er, I don’t think so.” Rising to full height, Remus checked his watch. “It was nice- uh, talking to you, but I’ve got to get to class.” He made to leave, but the other boy stood up and stepped in front of him.
“Wait!” The other boy narrowed his eyes, scrutinizing the face and feature of Remus, who now felt quite exposed. “I’m almost certain I know you.” He frowned more deeply. “What did you say your name was?”
“Remus Lupin. And I’ve really got to be-”
The other boy’s eyes went wide. “Lupin? Fucking seriously? You’re Remus Lupin?”
“Yes,” said Remus, feeling exponentially more adamant about leaving by the second. He stepped to one side of the boy, but the boy blocked him again, his face now clearly angry.
“You’re the wanker Black dumped me for?”
Oh, shit. With a grimace, Remus said quietly, “You must be Paul.”
Paul jerked his head upwards in affirmation. “Yeah. I am. Although I can’t imagine why, of all people, he’d pick you.” He looked over Remus’ thin frame critically and scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest.
Remus felt his ears go red. “Oh.” How do I respond to that? “Well, uhm, we go way back- That is, we’ve known each other a long time-” Remus instantly realized this was the wrong thing to say.
“Were you seeing him while he was seeing me? Was he cheating on me with you?” The other boy took a step closer, and Remus saw his hand twitch towards his wand.
Avoid confrontation. Be pacifying. Attempting a smile, Remus nervously replied “No, no, of course not. We’ve only been- uhm, you know, since Friday afternoon.”
Paul cocked his head, skeptic. “Friday afternoon? What time Friday afternoon?”
He’s quite attached, it seems. “Uh, it was in the evening, actually.” Very slowly, Remus was edging his way around the Hufflepuff, eyes locked on the classroom he was headed for, just down the hallway.
“Yeah?” He sneered, defiant. “What time?”
“I- I don’t know. Around nine, I think. A little after.”
Paul’s eyes narrowed. “Is that so?”
Remus glanced over his shoulder, then back at the classroom. “Yes, I’m sure of it.” Now if you don’t mind-” He sidestepped the boy and broke out into a brisk trot. Going to be late, going to be late. He threw over his shoulder: “Sorry, I’ve got to go!”
“That’s funny, because Sirius broke up with me around eight-forty-five. Down near the Transfiguration classroom.”
Remus stopped. That is strange. It would have given him just enough time to walk up to the Gryffindor house. He went straight from one thing to the next. It’s almost as if-
“It’s almost as if he was planning this.”
“Oh,” said Remus quite lamely. My thoughts exactly.
“Mr. Lupin, will you be attending class this afternoon or not?” the sharp reprimand jolted him, and he whirled around towards the source of it.
“Yes, Professor. Sorry about that.” He rushed into the classroom, and slid into his seat without looking up. Staring very intently at a spot on his desk, he avoided eye contact with anyone else. He knew that Sirius was sitting behind him, and James and Peter were close by. Quite suddenly, Remus did not want to talk to any of them. Feeling foolish for reasons he, slunk down quite low into his seat, face in his hands. His mind was racing.
Am I an experiment? A challenge? Is this Sirius’ final attempt at getting laid before leaving Hogwarts? Or worse than that, a last resort? Pitiable? Easy?
How long has he thought of me this way? His heart sank. Does James think so, too?
Remus mind went to all of Sirius’ short-term relationships with such a large percentage of the Hogwarts population. He thought of all the girls he had brought back to the dormitory after midnight, much to the embarrassment of everyone else in it. Racking his memory, Remus couldn’t remember Sirius ever talking about breaking up with any of them. Remus knew it had to have happened, but the physical action of saying “I’m sorry” or “I’m not sorry” followed by “It’s over” had never crossed his mind. He supposed it would be rather unpleasant, hurting someone like that, but Sirius had never mentioned it, not once, nor had he shown any signs of distress when moving on to someone new.
I am the someone new.
He shook himself. No. He’s better than that. Sirius wouldn’t do that to me. He wouldn’t just use me like that. Would he?
Ah, but he is, said a small voice in the back of his head. You know he is. He’s using you to get to James. Just like you’re using him. You’re using each other. Wasn’t that the whole point?
You’re being silly, Remus Lupin. It’s all fake, right
Right?
We are talking after class. Remus scribbled onto a corner of parchment, which he ripped off and slipped onto Sirius’ desk behind him. A moment later, the same piece fluttered before his face, landing before him. There was writing on the back now, larger and messier than his own.
You sound feisty. Rawr.
Remus scowled, then crushed the paper in his fist. He felt something hit the side of his face. “Ow!” he hissed under his breath. Turning to the left, he saw James with his wand pointed from his hip, grinning widely. Having a lover’s spat? he mouthed, clearly enjoying himself. Sirius is a moron, Remus mouthed back. James nodded in sympathy. Gritting his teeth, Remus turned back to the front of the classroom.
- -
After class was dismissed, Remus found Sirius lounging outside of the doorway, arms crossed lazily over his chest.
“You wanted to have a little rendezvous, eh?” Sirius raised an eyebrow, ignoring the pinched, unimpressed face staring back at him.
Remus hoisted his bookbag onto one shoulder and looked Sirius squarely in the eye. “What exactly are your intentions with me?”
Sirius raised an eyebrow? “Intentions?” he barked, loud enough to make several people turn around and stare. He lowered his voice. “You make it sound like we’re actually dating.”
Wrong tactic. “I didn’t mean it that way,” Remus said hastily. “But I would like to know just what you plan on doing with me when we’re done with our- you know. Farce.”
“Oh, Moony. I was trying to keep the horrible truth from you, but- Alas! Here it is- I suppose I’ll have to leave you out on the streets on your own to die, you poor thing. All helpless, by yourself.” He smirked.
Remus was suddenly stuck by an intense dissatisfaction with his flippant answer. There was something he wanted Sirius to say, the right thing, but he hadn’t the slightest clue what the right thing was. The right thing was not a joke; not what Sirius had just said. Not in the slightest. Remus raised an eyebrow, not responding.
Sirius looked affronted. “What? What kind of an answer are you looking for, Moony? When we’re done with this, we’ll be done with it, and things will go back to normal.”
“Yes, but-” Remus stopped. He tried to consider this easy transition back into normalcy, but for some reason, this didn’t quite fit. His mind didn’t quite process correctly that for once, Sirius was, indeed, making a fair amount of sense.
Don’t worry about that Paul bloke. He’s upset, of course, but why does it matter?
Uneasily, Remus nodded. “All right. I suppose that’s fair.”
Sirius chuckled.
“What’s so funny?”
“You’re so hung up over the specifics of all of this. As if it’s a potions problem or something. Everything has to be just so.”
“And what’s wrong with knowing how things are going to turn out?”
Sirius’ eyes twinkled and he leaned forward, face close to Remus’. “That takes all the fun out of it.”
For a moment, Remus thought that Sirius was going to kiss him. For a moment, one crazy moment, he was going to let him. But Remus pulled backwards and out of the way and said, “Your ex-lover nearly attacked me on my way to class.”
Sirius looked genuinely surprised. “He attacked- which one?”
“Paul.”
“Oh, him. He’s harmless. Don’t worry. You could take him on.”
“That’s not the point! I don’t want to take on anyone, Sirius! Not because of this silly relationship, anyway. I don’t want people to think I’m some sort of- of- ”
“Of what?”
“You know. That I cavort with certain people. Unsavory characters and the like.”
“Ah. But you do.”
“Yes, but. Not like that.”
Sirius gave a wry smile. “Living the dangerous life, now, are we, Moony? Dating someone so rebellious and dashing?”
“Padfoot, please. I don’t think this is working. James hasn’t showed the slightest bit of interest in either of us since we began this; not anymore interest than he would normally. In fact, I think he’s become increasingly attached to Lily. He’s not jealous at all. He’s not upset, even. He’s pleased by it. How on earth is this ever going to lead him to believe that he needs one of us over her?”
“Moony, Moony, Moony.” Sirius shook his head, as if greatly disappointed. “Don’t worry about it so much. Relax! James will come around in due time.”
“And if he doesn’t?” Remus asked nervously, not wanting to hear the answer.
Sirius flashed his teeth. “Well, m’dear, at least we have each other, then.”
- -
It was late. Moonlight peered in through a crack in the curtains and struck James’ bare torso just so. He stared down at Remus, whose lips were dry and whose eyes were helplessly fixed on the lean form before him. James was standing at the foot of the bed, wearing nothing but a pair of boxers and a wicked grin. Unabashedly, he knelt on the end of the mattress, crawling over top of the sheets, closer and closer, fingers sliding along Remus’ body as he went. His thumb brushed in the strangest, most unusually sensual way, over so many places. Knee. Stomach. Shoulder.
Lips.
Without a word, James peeled the sheets back from Remus’ body, revealing that he, too, was stripped down to his underwear. Remus felt himself blush. For an instant he wanted to apologize, but before the words could form on his tongue, James had taken his face in his hands and was kissing him deeply, pressing the weight of his entire body down on Remus’. They were achingly close to one another. Remus felt hot breath on his face when James pulled back, eyes traveling down along Remus’ body to somewhere else; another source of attention.
Remus couldn’t stop to think, James was moving too quickly. One second, he was looking as though he might ask May I? but the next second, he had thought better of it. Before Remus knew it, Sirius had slipped his hand inside Remus’ underwear, closing his fingers around the already-hard cock there. They locked eyes; James’ glittering with something unreadable. Something slightly…dangerous?
Without breaking the eye contact, James’ hand began to slide up and down Remus’ cock. Remus’ eyes shuddered shut, he fell back, eyes rolling, unable to think.
“Jesus, Moony…”
But it wasn’t James’ voice that breathed, it was Sirius. Remus’ eyes fluttered open and he realized that it wasn’t James’ body either, it was unmistakably Sirius, grinning wider than ever up at him. Sirius, hair falling in front of his eyes, lips parted, face slightly flushed. He quirked an eyebrow and slid a hand up the inside of Remus’ thigh.
“Enjoying yourself?”
Remus bolted awake, sitting up straight in bed, breathing heavily. For June, it seemed to be much warmer than usual. Much more than necessary. There was sweat on his forehead and the small of his back. He dragged a hand over his face, blinking at the empty room several times before fully being able to realize that it was, indeed, empty. Sighing deeply with relief, he groped on the bedside table for his wand, realizing with embarrassment that his hands were trembling. Well. It was quite a- a-
What was the word for it?
Intense. Terrifying. Sexual. Wonderful.
No, no, no. Not that last one, Remus thought hastily.
His fingers found the slender oak in the darkness at last. At least, he thought to himself, it was just a dream. “Lumos,” he muttered aloud, quiet enough as to not wake the other inhabitants of the dormitory.
Remus looked down at the sleeping form beside him, as he realized, with a pang, that he was not, in fact, comfortably alone. There was someone in bed with him, and that someone just happened to be the same someone who had been in the bed in his dream.
Oh dear lord.
Remus considered the possibility of screaming, or crying; and then thought about turning over and going back to sleep. None of these options seemed appropriate and Remus found himself staring down at the very naked body-
Naked. He is naked. In my bed.
What does one do when there is a naked man in their bed?
Remus knew very well that if he had posed the question aloud in any other situation, Sirius’ answer would be Shag him, of course. But this option, too, seemed quite inapt.
With great trepidation, Remus stretched out his forefinger and prodded Sirius in the forehead with it. “Oi. Padfoot,” he whispered weakly. “Hey. Hello. Hello?” But Sirius only proceeded to roll over, closer to him, wrapping one arm tightly around Remus’ abdomen. Sirius’ fingers were warm and slid underneath the hem of Remus’ shirt, who shivered at the touch.
“Uhm- Sirius.”
“Mrrmfff,” said Sirius.
Remus took his pillow and whacked Sirius in the face with it. With a jerk, Sirius’ eyes opened, then closed again blearily. “What time is it?”
“Sirius.” Remus made a point of not looking anywhere below Sirius’ neck. “What are you doing in my bed?”
Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, Sirius shrugged. “Sleeping. What did it look like?”
“Sleeping.”
“Yes.”
“Naked?”
“That’s the only way to do it, my dear Moony.” Sirius grinned, and it reminded Remus swiftly and painfully of the Sirius grinning in the dream. Do not think about those things. “I thought that if we were going to do this at all, we might as well do it right.”
“Right?”
“You don’t need to repeat everything that I say, you know.”
Remus couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Things that are not happening to me: this. It was all still some sort of horrible nightmare. He would wake up the next morning having never entered into any sort of ridiculous pact with Sirius in the first place. James and Lily would get married, and he would get over it, and Sirius would shag the entire population of Europe, and all would be well.
“Sirius,” he declared in a voice that was much stronger than he felt. “I feel that we need to set a few more rules.”
Sirius groaned. “Obviously this is the appropriate time for such interesting conversation.”
“I thought we decided on no sex.”
“This isn’t sex. This is sleeping. Your bed is very comfortable, by the way.”
“This is- of a sexual nature.” Remus was horrified to find that his cheeks turned pink.
“I bed to differ.” Sirius licked his lips. “But if you would like a demonstration as to what does fall under that category, I’d be more than happy to show you.”
“Out of my bed, now.”
“Oh, come on!”
“Out!”
“No!” Sirius clung tightly to Remus’ torso, defiantly refusing to move.
Remus sighed. “All right then. You can stay and we can discuss this.”
“All right, all right. As long as you’ve already kept me awake with all your talk of rules and sexual natures.”
“I wouldn’t have to talk about rules or sexual natures if you hadn’t-“ he took a deep breath, trying not to be so acutely aware of every inch of Sirius that was so impossibly warm against his own skin. “Look, I don’t think this is working. I don’t see how it could possibly be. But I know you do. So how about we reach a decision? We set an end date. After that point, if James-” here he lowered his voice, hoping he hadn’t woken the others already, “-hasn’t made a move on either of us, we’ll give up.”
Sirius wrinkled his nose. “That’s just the kind of absurd limitation that you’d come up with.”
“I happen to think it’s a wonderful idea.”
“You would,” said Sirius darkly.
“How about- the 31st of July? If the plan hasn’t worked by then, we’re through. All right?”
Sirius consider this for a moment then muttered, “Fine, on one condition.”
“What’s that?”
He smiled. “I get to stay here tonight.”
“Here-”
“Your bed is much more comfortable than my own. I already said that didn’t I?”
“You- No, Sirius, I’m not agreeing to that. Go back to your own bed.”
“If I go back to my own bed, we don’t have an end date.”
“Oh, Padfoot, come on-”
“That’s my offer,” he nuzzled his nose against Remus’ stomach, who shivered slightly.
“I-” It’s just one night. “I-I suppose so.”
“Good,” said Sirius, not seeming surprised at all. “I’ll spend the night here, the break up is set for the end of July and all is well.” He did not make any move to let go of Remus; indeed, he held him tighter, laying his head against Remus’ body, as if using Remus as a pillow was the single most natural thing in the world.
Remus lay back on the pillows and yawned. It had been a long day, and he didn’t feel like arguing or thinking about much. He felt his eyes go heavy with sleep, and shut them. Right as he was about to fall asleep, a stray thought drifted through his mind.
I suppose this isn’t that bad after all.
- -