This is stunning, so much intensity of emotion and burning passion of all kinds intermingled: hate and fear and lust and anger and despair and courage and love. So many dimensions of power explored, too, the careful negotiations and balancing acts.
I'm in awe of your skill with language, too, the way you ratchet up the tension and bring scenes vividly to life. There are many elegantly crafted bits; this might be my favorite: He didn't forbid it, but his very presence was a counterweight to joy, ensuring that no one grew too merry or bright, that none of them forgot the lengthening shadow of the Dark Lord lurking around the corner of the near future.
I admire this Minerva so much, a true lioness, holding to her work (Time to light lamps and candles, sit close to the fire, and behave as if pedagogical standards meant anything. ), always thinking, willing to pay any price to protect her students. And Severus -- the iron self control, the sheer strength of him (...his careful control, his sense of purpose, which suited him far more than pettiness ever had..., oh YES!), all of it made so painful by our awareness of his true loyalties and motives.
Most heartbreaking of all are the things he says where Minerva hears betrayal, but we know the truth behind them: "I have one vow left that I am sworn to honour in this life, and it is to that master I remain faithful," for example, and "Trust me, whether I lose or not, our side will prevail." And oh, most of all this: "If it comes to that, I expect long before the Dark Lord falls I'll be dead."
This is a truly amazing piece of writing, powerful and painful and beautifully done. Kudos, MA.
Wow, thank you for this wonderful comment! You summed up all the contradictions and hidden emotional disturbances I wanted to cram into this fic. As usual, I had a hard time scaling the story down to fit the word count limit, so in certain instances I feel I did Minerva a disservice and rushed her emotional shifts. I'm relieved to hear that most of what I hoped to convey came across. I do believe Minerva's strength would be equal to the complexities of a bargain like this; she's as strong as Severus and as capable of ruthlessness, I think. But there are so many layers to this deception, and part of the pleasure of writing it involved the reader's understanding of Severus' motives and the true meaning behind some of his more damning remarks.
With Severus, I imagine that his responsibilities in that last year, the terrible front he had to keep up, would have acted on him like the emotional equivalent of the massive pressure that creates diamonds: all extraneous behaviors, all his self-indulgent childish spite, would have been a disadvantage to him here and a threat to his mission. He had to shed it, or have it squeezed out of him; he was condensed and hardened to a single brilliant purpose. Except that, being human, the cost must have been extraordinarily painful.
The awful term under Headmaster Snape is a rich source for storytelling - so much courage and suffering, sacrifice and gambling against the odds. Thank you for reading this rather dark fic and for your very kind words. I hope to keep exploring this tangle of loyalties between Severus and Minerva, and this might give me the spark I need.
I'm in awe of your skill with language, too, the way you ratchet up the tension and bring scenes vividly to life. There are many elegantly crafted bits; this might be my favorite: He didn't forbid it, but his very presence was a counterweight to joy, ensuring that no one grew too merry or bright, that none of them forgot the lengthening shadow of the Dark Lord lurking around the corner of the near future.
I admire this Minerva so much, a true lioness, holding to her work (Time to light lamps and candles, sit close to the fire, and behave as if pedagogical standards meant anything. ), always thinking, willing to pay any price to protect her students. And Severus -- the iron self control, the sheer strength of him (...his careful control, his sense of purpose, which suited him far more than pettiness ever had..., oh YES!), all of it made so painful by our awareness of his true loyalties and motives.
Most heartbreaking of all are the things he says where Minerva hears betrayal, but we know the truth behind them: "I have one vow left that I am sworn to honour in this life, and it is to that master I remain faithful," for example, and "Trust me, whether I lose or not, our side will prevail." And oh, most of all this: "If it comes to that, I expect long before the Dark Lord falls I'll be dead."
This is a truly amazing piece of writing, powerful and painful and beautifully done. Kudos, MA.
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With Severus, I imagine that his responsibilities in that last year, the terrible front he had to keep up, would have acted on him like the emotional equivalent of the massive pressure that creates diamonds: all extraneous behaviors, all his self-indulgent childish spite, would have been a disadvantage to him here and a threat to his mission. He had to shed it, or have it squeezed out of him; he was condensed and hardened to a single brilliant purpose. Except that, being human, the cost must have been extraordinarily painful.
The awful term under Headmaster Snape is a rich source for storytelling - so much courage and suffering, sacrifice and gambling against the odds. Thank you for reading this rather dark fic and for your very kind words. I hope to keep exploring this tangle of loyalties between Severus and Minerva, and this might give me the spark I need.
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