FIC: Occlumency Isn't Everything it's Cracked Up to Be (PG-13)

[iulia_linnea]

Title: Occlumency Isn't Everything it's Cracked Up to Be
Type: Fic
Age-Range Category: Four
Character(s)/Pairing(s): Severus Snape/Hermione Granger, Minerva McGonagall
Author: debjunk
Beta(s): steelersgirl
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Severus has survived the war and can now live his life as he wishes. No one knows he's a natural Legilimens, able to read minds at will. When he hears Hermione Granger pining away for him in her mind, what will he do?



Severus Snape opened his eyes and immediately closed them again. The light was so bright, and the walls were too white. Very slowly he cracked his eyes open, letting them adjust until he opened them fully. Looking around, he recognized a hospital room. As he eyed the room, a Mediwitch bustled in.

"We set a charm to let us know when you awakened. How are you feeling, Mr. Snape?"

Severus wondered if his voice would work. The last thing he remembered was getting attacked by Voldemort's snake. He tried to speak.

"Water," he managed to say.

The Mediwitch helped him drink something as she explained his condition.

"You're lucky to be alive. Madam Pomfrey stabilized you at Hogwarts, and they transferred you here. We were able to extract the venom in your system, and that phoenix did a good job repairing your neck."

She moved his head gently so she could look at his wound.

"There will be a scar but I don't think it will be very noticeable."

"How?" he asked.

"The phoenix, and then someone went back for your body and found you were still alive. They rushed you back to Hogwarts, and then you were moved here."

"Am I going to Azkaban?" he asked bitterly.

"Oh, Mr. Snape, you don't know! Harry Potter cleared your name. He explained how you plotted with Dumbledore about the whole thing. Once you're well, you can leave and live your life as you wish."

She did some tests with her wand and administered a potion to him.

"Now try and rest. If you continue to do this well, you'll be out of here in a day or two."

With that, she took her leave, letting Severus mull over everything.

He was free.

Unbelievable. He had been certain that he wouldn't survive the war or that he'd be sentenced to life in Azkaban if he did. It had been a no-win situation.

Now, the rest of his life was before him; he could do whatever he wanted.

Suddenly overcome, he felt tears welling up. All the horrid things that had happened over the years flooded his mind. He moved his hands to cover his face and wept bitterly. It was over. It was finally over! He was free.

The tears were like a catharsis. He mourned everything but as he did, he felt relief. Slowly his weeping stopped, and he finally dried his eyes. He was wiped out from everything. A small part of him looked forward to the life he could now build for himself, but right now he was exhausted. His eyes slowly closed, and he felt himself slip into a deep sleep.

_____________________
He woke to a Healer taking his readings.

"Mr. Snape, you seem to be recovering well. Can I ask you to try and sit up, please?"

Severus slowly complied, and the Healer placed his pillow behind his back. Waving his wand over Severus again, he looked satisfied.

"Would you try to get up?"

Severus eased his legs off the bed and stood. He was a bit wobbly at first, but then straightened up and stood tall.

"Good, good. I think we'll be able to release you tomorrow," the Healer advised.

The medical wizard soon left after settling Severus sitting up in bed. He closed his eyes. Maybe it was time for him to start truly living.

Severus had a secret that no one knew. Well, no one living knew it. His mother had known and had advised him to always keep it a secret. He was a true Legilimens. His gift manifested when he was five, and he'd been able to hear everyone's thoughts since. Everyone and everything. His mother had recognized it early on and had soothed him as the images and words had attacked his mind. She'd taught him quickly to Occlude and as he grew, he learned how to not have it affect him when he wasn't Occluding.

Maybe, now that he wasn't a double spy, he could let his Occlumency shields down and just live.

He concentrated and let his shields drop. He listened carefully. He could hear the thoughts of everyone at St. Mungos. He slammed his shields back up. It was too much right now, but he would spend the next few hours working up to it. He had learned well from his mum how to ignore the chatter in his head when he was a youth. He would learn again.

Throughout the rest of the day and into the night, Severus dropped his shield for longer periods of time. By midnight, he had strengthened himself to be able to drop them completely. The chatter settled into a dull roar in the back of his head, but he was used to it by then. He could ignore it, or listen if he needed to. He no longer needed to hide his thoughts or those of others. He was truly free.

_____________________
Severus made one final tour of Hogwarts. The castle was fully repaired and ready for a new school year. It had taken most of the summer, and many had helped. The Board of Governors had asked, well almost demanded, that he stay on as Headmaster. Severus had agreed.

Now it was the night before the students would return. He'd already met with the teachers and they were all prepped and ready to go.

As he walked the halls, he felt Minerva coming toward him. Her thoughts were filled with the needs of the students. In a minute, she was in front of him.

"Good Evening, Severus. I wanted to ask you about the Transfiguration classroom."

Already knowing what she would ask, he arched a brow at her to go on.

"I was wondering if we could ask the castle to expand it. With the war, many of our students who fought may not want to be situated as closely to their fellow students as before."

Severus regarded his Deputy Head.

"That's not a bad idea, Minerva. We should probably do it for Defense as well. Maybe all the classrooms. Let's go to your room."

They headed over, making small talk as they did so.

"I know you spent most of your summer here, but did you enjoy the French Riviera on your holiday?" he asked.

"Oh, it was marvelous! As you can see, I certainly got enough sun!"

Severus smirked at her. "I'm glad you enjoyed yourself."

"It's too bad you couldn't get away, even for a couple of days," Minerva commiserated.

"A Headmaster's work is never done. Besides, I had a lot to do to rectify things that went on last year."

"I want to apologize, Severus…"

He held up his hand. "You already apologized. You don't have to say it every time we meet for the next year. We are good."

She sighed. "Still, I wish I had known."

"It would have been easier if you had, but it couldn't be."

By then they had reached the Transfiguration classroom. Entering they looked around. Severus closed his eyes and thought about the castle. All Headmasters were able to communicate with the school, but with Severus' Legilimency skills, he could have an actual conversation with the sentient building.

May I ask a favor of you, Hogwarts?

What is it, Headmaster?

The students have been through a war as you know. Some of them probably have long-lasting effects. Would it be possible to enlarge the classrooms so that the students don't feel crowded upon?

He waited for an answer.

Your concern for the students is meritable. It shall be as you asked.

Thank you, he thought.

Turning to Minerva they both looked around as the room became larger.

"That's perfect," Minerva mused.

The students would now be able to spread out and not feel enclosed while they learned.

He turned to Minerva.

"I should be getting along," he said.

"Thank you, Severus."

He bowed his head in acknowledgment and said good night to Minerva. Continuing on his rounds, he checked the other classrooms. They all had become larger to one extent or another. He smiled and mentally thanked the castle for its regard for the students.

As he meandered through the halls, he let the other inhabitants' internal voices fill him. He was happy to find all of the teachers seemed to be eager to be back and had no ill feelings toward him. He had checked their feelings several times over the last two days since their arrival. He'd had a hard time believing there would be no hard feelings, but each time he searched their minds, he came up with the same response. Perhaps it was time to stop worrying about that. He still had the students to face tomorrow.

He stopped to look out at the courtyard. Since the war had ended, his life had calmed considerably. Being free from two despots seemed to do that to a person. He found that he wanted to run the school again. He wanted to be a good and effective Headmaster, not a puppet as he had been before. Hoping to make a difference this time, he straightened his shoulders and moved away from the window. He had high hopes for the school year.

_____________________
Severus settled into his chair in the center of the teacher's table. The staff was assembled, but the rest of the hall was empty. The upperclassmen would begin to enter at any moment, and the first-years were due within a half hour.

Severus watched the doors open, and students began to move into the hall. They chatted amongst themselves. As more students entered, the din grew louder, but it wasn't the external noise that Severus found the loudest. The voices inside his head became raucous. He braced himself as all those minds were open to him.

It took a minute, but he finally was able to turn the din into low chatter in his mind. Still, things came to him as he watched the students file in.

"Oh, it's good to see Frank after the summer."

"I hope I can make more friends this year!"

"There's Jonah. I'm going to sit next to him."

"The O.W.L.s are this year. I need to really work hard."

"The Headmaster looks so good. I'm thankful he survived."

His eyes snapped over to the owner of that thought. Hermione Granger was walking towards the Gryffindor table. Of all the people who would think it was good that he survived, he found it hard to believe that Hermione Granger was the owner of those thoughts, but she continued.

"Gol, I never realized how handsome he was before."

Severus' eyes nearly popped out of his head.

"It's going to be hard not fantasizing about him this year," she finished as she took a seat and started talking with Ginny Weasley.

Severus cleared his throat as his mind went blank with the thought that Hermione Granger might find him… attractive. He stared at her for a minute before drawing his gaze to the other students entering the Great Hall, but his mind couldn't stop going back to Granger.

His eyes shot to her again before they returned to the line of students. How could she… she was… He'd hated her! Why was he even entertaining the fact that she found him attractive?

Expelling the whole idea from his mind, he noted all the returning students were seated and Minerva was leading in the first-years. He barely paid attention to the sorting, as his mind kept returning to Granger's thoughts. He concentrated on her for a few seconds, but she had moved on from his good looks and was talking about Harry to Ginny. Evidently, he and Weasley didn't return because they were offered positions as Aurors.

He was thankful he wouldn't have to see them every day.

Severus stood to give the opening speech. His eyes roamed the student body as he advised of the coming year.

"As you know, our last year was… difficult. I would hope that most of you understand that my previous actions were at Headmaster Dumbledore's request. This year will be very different from last. As a start, all houses will be combined in each class. I would like you all to leave your rivalries behind and learn to accept each other's… differences. I would hope after all the hate we have seen over the past few years, we can all become more tolerant of one another."

With a quick bow of his head, dinner appeared on the tables, and he returned to his seat.

As he did so, he heard the thoughts of about half a dozen students-of both sexes-who also found him… handsome. Had the world gone mad overnight? He pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind. He wanted to gauge the room on what he had just told everyone.

He directed his thoughts to the Slytherins, as they would be the ones that would have the hardest time adjusting to being nice to their counterparts.

"I don't know if I can be nice to the Gryffindors. They're so haughty."

"Tolerance… whatever."

"It'll be a cold day in hell when I'm nice to Granger."

That last comment came from Draco Malfoy. Severus would need to have a chat with him.

He spread out his reading of the students and found there was doubt amongst all houses. He knew it would take some time, but everyone seemed to think it wouldn't work at all. Combining classes would hopefully help to smooth some of the kinks with the students. He hoped by the end of the year, there would be better relations.

_____________________
Breakfast was always the meal that Severus enjoyed the most, mainly because it was more relaxed than the other meals. For breakfast, the students were allowed to come and go as they pleased. If they had a late class, they could sleep in and come to breakfast later.

The faculty could also come and go when they wanted. Severus, as Headmaster, would make an appearance, but he wasn't required to stay the entire time like during the other meals.

The previous year he hadn't missed a meal despite the glares and hatred that were directed toward him. Had he let his Occlumency skills down at that time, he'd have probably done himself in. Now though, he could relax and gauge the room with Legilimency and hopefully, there wouldn't be too many negative thoughts toward him.

He looked up as some of the seventh and eighth-year students entered together. Neville Longbottom lead the group with Luna Lovegood. Ginny and Hermione entered together after them, and Seamus Finnegan and Jason Finch-Fletchley brought up the rear. Once again, Hermione's thoughts burst into his head unbidden.

"Oh good, the Headmaster is here. He looks… very nice."

He fought not to roll his eyes.

"I wonder what it would be like to be friends with him?" she continued. "Maybe I can get to know him this year."

Why on earth would she want to get to know me? he thought.

Focusing on the Hufflepuffs, he found them filled with enthusiasm for their first day of classes. That was more like it.

Severus dug into the last bit of his eggs as Professor Flitwick settled down next to him.

"Good morning, Severus," he said.

"Filius."

"How are you feeling about this year?" Filius asked.

"Much better than last year."

Filius smirked. "I would imagine. I'm looking forward to the new year as well."

"Hopefully, it will be all we hoped for," Severus stated.

Finishing up his tea, he stood. "Enjoy your classes today, Filius," he said before leaving the room.

He headed up to his office, the thoughts of the inhabitants of the school in the back of his head. He had some paperwork to send to the Board of Governors now that the year had officially begun. Sitting down at his desk, he blocked everything from his mind as he concentrated on the forms he was filling out.

So absorbed was he, that he was startled when there was a knock at his door. He looked over at the doorway, chastising himself for not being on top of things. The war may be over, but he should never truly let his guard down. With a wave of his wand, he magically opened the door. He was surprised to find Hermione Granger standing there.

"Hello, Headmaster. Are you busy?"

"Yes, but I can take a couple minutes," Severus advised. "Come in."

Hermione entered and came over to his desk, settling in the chair in front of it. He tried not to read her mind, but he could tell she was nervous about something.

"I was wondering," she began. "I would like to take some advanced studies."

"In what subjects?"

"Defense and Potions. I feel like after being on the run, I've learned a lot, and could learn more than the seventh-year curriculum being offered."
Severus sat back and steepled his fingers in front of him.

"Why Potions? Did you brew a lot last year?"

"Well, no, but I've always been ahead, and I'd like to learn as much as possible."

"Who would you suggest working with? I'm not sure that Professor Slughorn is interested in giving private lessons or taking an apprentice. As for our new Defense teacher, Professor Bailey, he will be busy acclimating to Hogwarts and teaching."

Hermione frowned. "I actually thought maybe if you had time… sir?"

"Me?"

Oh please, please, please.

Her thoughts were so loud he almost winced at them.

"So, what's in it for me?" Severus asked.

Hermione tilted her head at him. "Always the consummate Slytherin."

"Of course," he said with a smirk.

"Well," she thought for a moment. "I'm a quick study, as you know."

"Let me interrupt you, Miss Granger," he said as he raised his hand. "In years past, you have been glued to your books and what they say, unbending nor unwilling to view other ideas or create your own. What is different now?"

Hermione straightened. "You know, you were the only professor who ever called that out. At the time I hated it, but in hindsight, I'm glad you did. It helped me to open my mind when we were on the run. We had to do everything on our own and be creative about what we did. I learned to rely on myself and my hunches with magic. I'm not that little girl who followed every rule and every direction in a book."

He regarded her for a while until she began fidgeting slightly.

Can I just disappear into the floor? she thought.

"I'm glad to hear that, Miss Granger."

"Also, you'll be able to take credit for my education."

His eyes narrowed at her. "In what way? You are in charge of your education."

"I mean… I would credit you for helping me to advance myself."

"What if that doesn't interest me?"

You could get to know me better.

He almost choked at her thought.

"I'm not sure, Headmaster. What would you want from me?"

He arched a brow at her.

"Are you sure you want to ask a Slytherin that?"

"I trust you."

His heart dropped into his stomach. Trust… that was something he'd never truly had. He mentally shook himself and looked at the young Gryffindor.

"I appreciate that. Here are my terms. You will be a champion for inter-house relations. I want you to help everyone to see that the other Houses aren't horrible."

Hermione arched a brow at him. "That's a tall order, sir."

"I know. Can you do it?"

She nodded briskly, and he admired her tenacity. "I will, do it, sir."

"Good. I have time on Wednesday evenings for extra lessons."

"What time, sir?"

"Seven sharp, here in my office."

She grinned broadly. "Thank you, Headmaster."

He nodded at her, effectively dismissing her. She rose and made her way to the door.

I'm so excited to work with him!

His eyes ventured to her, watching her leave. He wasn't quite sure why he accepted her request. He really didn't have all that much time to devote to it. But something within him had told him to do so. He never argued with his inner voice.

_____________________
A week had passed, and Granger was soon due for her first lesson with Severus. He was heading towards his office when a stray voice entered his head.

I'll show that Mudblood! Who does she think she is trying to approach the Slytherins?

Severus did an about-face and hurried down to the dungeons. The thoughts he'd heard were from Draco Malfoy, who was still raw from what had happened in the war and seemed to be angry at everyone and everything.

He appeared in the Dungeons to see Hermione and Draco pointing their wands at one another.

"Mister Malfoy," he sneered, every syllable accentuated as he called the young Slytherin's name.

Draco froze before lowering his wand and turning to Severus.

"Headmaster, I didn't hear you there."

"No doubt. What do you think you're doing attacking another student?"

Draco turned back to Hermione. "She doesn't belong down here."

"As a matter of fact, she does. I have asked her to help with relations between houses."

Draco's lips thinned, but he kept his peace. That didn't stop Severus from hearing his thoughts.

Why would you set that harridan on us all?

"Mr. Malfoy, as I said at the beginning of the year, part of your studies this year is to learn to get along with other Houses."

He's incapable of seeing past his nose to become friendly with other houses.-this from Granger.

He turned to her. "Miss Granger, I expect you to have a positive attitude in this, and to not start duels."

"Yes, sir."

"Now then." He eyed both students. "I will give you fifteen minutes to find a way to get along with one another."

He turned and left them then, listening to their thoughts as he departed. He was surprised to feel Granger's animosity disappear as she tried to make some headway with Draco.

Shut it, Granger. You don't know anything about me, Draco thought.

Severus tuned them out, sure that they wouldn't come to hexing one another again. Heading up to his office, he waited for Hermione to come by for her lesson. Not surprisingly, she was right on time.

"How did it go with Mr. Malfoy?" Severus asked.

Her lips thinned. "I wish he would believe that I care about his well-being."

"Do you?"

"Of course I do! I mean, he's an arse, but he was obviously not into the war effort, and he helped us out in a tight situation."

"What did he do?"

"He pretended not to recognize Harry when the Snatchers caught us and brought us to Malfoy Manor."

"I understand that was a harrowing experience for you," Severus acknowledged.

Hermoine lifted up her sleeve and showed her 'Mudblood' scar.

"A little gift from Bellatrix LeStrange along with several Cruciatus," she explained.

Severus' eyes bugged out. "I didn't know, Miss Granger. I'm sorry."

"Professor, you wouldn't have been able to do anything if you had."

"May I look at that?" he asked as he got near her.

She extended her arm so he could see it better.

"The Healers could do nothing for you?" he asked as he examined her wrist.

"It was done with a cursed blade. They said there's nothing that can be done."

Severus looked up at her. "You said the other day you trust me. Is that still true?"

"Absolutely."

"The Healers were right mostly. Unless you know how the curse was created, there is no way to fully counter it. I, however, was there when Bellatrix created the curse she used to lace her blades with Dark Magic."

He flourished his wand and cast a spell on her arm, repeating the chant over and over as the scar darkened and then began to fade.

"Sana Omnia," he repeated.

At long last, the awful word faded away, and Hermione's skin was restored to its natural purity.

Hermione stared down at her wrist in awe.

"It's gone. Professor, you healed it!"

She threw her arms around him and hugged him furiously. His arms slowly came up and surrounded her as well, and he found that he enjoyed her being in his arms.

This feels so good.

He was surprised that she felt the same as he did. Reality set in quickly though. He was hugging a student and enjoying it. He pushed her back and cleared his throat.

"Sorry," he said.

"Me too."

"So… let's get on with your lesson."

"Right."

Severus took off his cape and extended his wand. "Let's duel."

Magically, the room cleared so they could move around unencumbered. Hermione drew her wand, and they bowed to one another. In seconds the spells were flying. She was spry and powerful. He admired that, but she would never best him. He shot a hex at her, and she dived and rolled away. He cast a curse where he expected her to stop her roll. Correctly guessing, she went flying across the room. He rushed over to her and extended his hand to help her up.

"Good reflexes. Don't forget that the battle isn't over just because you evaded your enemy once. It's not over until the enemy is defeated."

Hermione nodded crisply at him.

"Shall we go again?"

"Yes, sir."

They were dueling once more. Hermione didn't make the same mistake twice. As she ducked and rolled she ended her roll and shot a stunner at Severus as she shielded herself. This time Severus was the one who was knocked to the ground.

"That was just beginner's luck," he said as he stood up and brushed himself off.

Hermione laughed. He grinned at her as well.

Oh my gosh, he's so hot when he smiles.

Severus dropped the smile immediately and sent a stunner at her. She got out of her head and shielded herself, and they were off again.

After several duels and a lesson on dodging, they were done for the day.

"Thank you, Headmaster. That was a lot of fun."

"I will admit, I enjoyed myself as well. Next week we'll work on some obscure potions."

She smiled at him and nodded before turning and making her way to the door.

That was so much fun. I didn't think he'd be so fantastic to work with.

Severus watched her leave.

You were pretty fun to work with as well, Granger.

_____________________
A month had passed and Hermione's efforts to unite the school were paying off.

"Miss Granger, I see a remarkable difference among the student body. Your efforts have worked."

"Thank you, sir."

"It was brilliant to set up extra Quidditch matches with mixed teams."

"I think the bi-weekly dances and having to dance with other Housemates several times are helping too."

He nodded. "Nicely done. There's more work to do, but I am encouraged by the current attitude of the students."

Not only had their outward attitudes changed, but he'd also noticed better camaraderie in their thoughts as well as less negativity.

Hermione grinned at him.

I'm so glad he's pleased. I just wish he'd have more than just a passing interest in me. I find myself more and more attracted to him.

Thoughts like that had been going through her mind for a while now, and Severus found it harder and harder for him to ignore them. The woman wanted a relationship with him. He was reticent to start one, though. Not that he didn't find her intriguing.

He regarded her thoughtfully and for the first time searched his feelings. He found he was attracted to her as well.

Bugger.

"I need to apologize. We won't be able to have our lesson tonight. I have a conflicting meeting."

Her face fell, but she quickly masked it.

I really was looking forward to our meeting today.

"That's all right, Headmaster. We'll continue next week."

He gave her a crips nod.

"Have a good night," she said as she rose and departed.

He watched her go, his thoughts buzzing in his head. There was no meeting. He was just… scared. He didn't want to spend more time with her because it would just intensify his attraction. She was his student, and honestly, why would she want to be with him in reality?

He stood and headed for the door. He needed to talk to somebody about this, and he knew just the person. He frowned as he made his way to the Transfiguration classroom. Peering into the room, he saw only Minerva, noting there were no detentions going on at the moment. He made his way to her desk.

"Minerva, might I have a word?"

Minerva looked up at him and smiled. "Of course, Severus. What is it?"

"It's a private matter. May we use your quarters?"

Her face showed curiosity, then confusion, and finally concern all in a matter of seconds before she nodded and stood.

What on earth could be the issue? Did I do something?

Soon they were comfortably sitting across from one another on her twin sofas. Severus looked to the ground and knit his eyebrows together, not quite sure how to start.

"This has nothing to do with anything you've done," he began so he could ease her worry.

"What is it, Severus? Is there something wrong?"

"Minerva… you know I am an accomplished Legilmens, correct?"

"Yes, I do."

"No one knows just how accomplished I am," he admitted. "During the war, I had to block my gift so the Dark Lord would be unaware, but I can read anyone's mind at any time. Since recovering, I have let my abilities grow once again."

"Severus, whatever it is you thought you heard in my head, I can assure you, I haven't thought an evil thing about you since the war ended."

He smirked at her. "I know. This isn't about you or your thoughts about me. It's about a student. Since the beginning of the year, this student has been attracted to me. As the weeks have gone on, she has formed a… well, she's smitten with me."

"I'm sure there's more than one student who finds you attractive, Severus."

His eyes focused on the carpet.

"I know. I've heard them. This one is different, though. She's an adult, and I find that I am attracted to her as well."

Minerva's eyebrows rose as she regarded him thoughtfully.

"It's Hermione Granger, isn't it?" she asked sagely.

He spluttered before replying. "How… How on earth did you know?"

I've seen the way she looks at you in the Great Hall. I can tell she fancies you. She's the only one who would make any sense for you to be attracted to. The rest are just… too immature. The war has given her perspective."

His head dropped into his hands. "I'm sorry, Minerva."

"For what?"

His eyes shot up to hers. "For being attracted to your favorite cub!"

She laughed at him then. Laughed!

"She is an adult, Severus. She's brilliant, loyal, and crafty. You both are well matched."

"But she's twenty years my junior!" Severus exclaimed.

"You've come to the wrong person if you expect me to chastise you for your age difference," she said. "Remember, My Elphinstone was twenty years older than I."

"Yes, but you were both adults, not students. People will look at this and think I'm a lecherous fool."

"When was the last time you cared about what other people thought?" she asked.

He quieted at that. "It's more about her. I don't want her reputation sullied by the likes of me."

Minerva leaned forward and looked Severus straight in the eye.

"Student-teacher relationships are allowed if both parties are adults, which you both are. People are bound to talk because that's just what they do, however, those of us who know both of you understand that anything that grows between the two of you will be cultivated and not steeped in scandal."

She regarded him levelly.

"You know that most of our world understands what you did, right? The people who don't do not know you, nor are they worth caring about. Hermione Granger is an adult, and by so being, can fall in love with whomever she likes."

"I don't think she…"

Minerva raised her hand to quell Severus' doubt-filled statement.

"It doesn't matter what you call it. She is old enough to know her mind and how she feels."

Severus grimaced. "I came here for you to talk some sense into me, not give me license to pursue this ridiculousness."

Minerva had the nerve to chuckle at him.

"Severus." She sighed. "I judged you horridly during that last year of the war. I made up all sorts of reasons why you did what you did; none of which were anywhere close to the truth. We were friends, and I threw that away. I will never judge you like that again. I trust your judgment, and hopefully, we are friends still despite my folly. I know you're not the kind to jump into something without thinking it through."

"You don't understand, Minerva. If I do this…" He clamped his mouth shut, fearful to divulge his fear.

"Go on."

He hesitated for a bit before finally speaking.

"If I do this, and I let myself feel those emotions fully, and it doesn't work out…"

Minerva rose and sat next to him on the sofa. Her hand covered his.

"Severus, take a chance. You've buried your feelings for years to not be hurt physically and emotionally by those around you for the war. Now you can let go of that secrecy and be yourself."

"I…"

She squeezed Severus' hand. "I know it's hard, and you may have to be much more vulnerable than you've ever been, but wouldn't it be worth it if she shares your feelings?"

He brought his hands to his face and ran his fingers down his cheeks. "I can't believe you're saying all of this."

She reached up and squeezed his shoulder. "Believe it. You two would make an adorable couple."

He huffed. "Now I know you're full of it."

She barked out a laugh. "Believe what you will, but I'm serious."

Severus stared out the window from where he sat, mulling over what she'd said.

"Do you think… do you think she'd be interested? I mean in reality. Right now, this is just some fantasy in her head, but if I were to actually show interest… do you think she'd run the other way?"

"I know something about Hermione Granger; she knows her own mind. If she's interested in you now, she'll be more so if you show interest in her."

Severus looked down at his lap. "And you think it would be a good idea to pursue her?"

Her hand covered his once again and squeezed. "I do."

_____________________
Severus had left Minerva the night before with renewed hope. Feeling a sense of urgency, he was determined to speak with Hermione after breakfast. Making his way into the Great Hall, he nodded to the teachers already assembled. Minerva winked at him, and he rolled his eyes but smirked at her nonetheless.

Sitting back, he sipped his tea as he looked out at the students. It was early, so there weren't a lot of them, but he knew Hermione always ate early, so he wanted to catch her.

Letting his mind open, he listened to the students' thoughts for a while.

I hope my Arithmancy homework is right.

Geez, why does John always ask to sit next to me?

Can't wait for the Quidditch match this Saturday. Gryffindor is gonna win!

What does that Rune mean? Let me look it up.

Pretty mundane for a Friday morning. Burying the noise in his head, he spooned some porridge into his bowl and took a piece of toast from a nearby plate. Minerva passed him some jelly without him even asking. He turned to her and smiled.

"Thanks."

"My pleasure," she replied. "Now, when are you going to talk to Miss Granger?" she asked as quietly as she could.

"Minerva! Give me a chance, eh? I was planning on doing so after breakfast."

"Good. And be direct. Let her know how you feel. Maybe even tell her about your abilities."

"That would be prudent. Starting a relationship with such a large thing being hidden would not be a good idea. Well, at least if she ups and runs out of the room, I'll know it wasn't meant to be."

Minerva chuckled and placed her hand on Severus' arm. "You worry too much. Just do it."

"I will do it. Merlin, she hasn't even come into the room yet."

"Oh, look, there she is now!"

Severus turned and looked at the entrance of the Great Hall. There she was. She'd let her hair down today and it was flowing around her like a wild thing. He swore he'd never seen anything quite so striking in his life.

"Oh, you've got it bad," Minerva mused.

He glared at her before taking a bite of his toast and chewing it slowly as he looked at her.

"I'm just saying."

Severus turned his attention back to Hermione and listened to her thoughts.

Oh good, he's at breakfast. I missed him last night. Maybe I should suggest a makeup lesson?

He smirked into his porridge as he let his hair fall in front of his face to shield himself from her view. He watched her covertly take a seat and begin chatting with Longbottom and Lovegood.

He quickly finished his breakfast and stood.

"Good luck, you old dog!" Minerva said.

Severus' eyes grew big at her statement. "Did you have a bit too much catnip this morning? You're not sounding yourself."

"Oh, pish-posh. I'm not always the straight-laced woman you've come to think of."

He regarded her curiously.

"No doubt," he stated before turning and making his way around the table and out into the area where the students were.

Walking over to the Ravenclaw table where Hermione had sat with Luna and Neville, he walked quickly down the row to her.

"Miss Granger…"

Hermione looked up at him, slightly startled.

"Yes, Headmaster?"

"You have a free period now, correct?"

"That's right, sir."

"Good, please meet me in my office once you are done with your breakfast."

"Yes, sir," she replied, biting her lip immediately after.

I wonder what he could want?

He bowed his head slightly and made his way down the row and out of the Great Hall. He heaved a sigh of relief once he was clear of the doors. He'd used all his bravery to look nonchalant when he spoke to her, but he was bursting with anxiety inside. Merlin, would he even survive this conversation?

He hurried to his office to await her arrival.

Maybe a calming draught would be helpful…

_____________________
There was a knock at his door. Severus took a deep, cleansing breath.

"Enter," he ordered.

Hermione came in and closed the door behind her. She made her way to the chair in front of Severus' desk and sat down.

"What can I do for you, Headmaster?"

Severus flicked his wand, locking the door and setting wards and a Muffliato so their conversation wouldn't be interrupted.

What is he doing?

"Miss Granger, what I want to discuss is a private matter, and I don't want us to be interrupted."

She nodded, giving him a curious look. He sat back in his chair.

"Before I go into why I asked you here, I must tell you something about myself that only one other person knows. I must ask you to keep this to yourself as it could be used against me if more people were to find out."

Her eyes grew wide.

I can't believe he's trusting me like this.

"Of course, Headmaster. Whatever you tell me stays within this office. I will speak of it to no one."

He nodded quickly in response. "Good."

Looking off at the bookshelves, he gathered his thoughts.

"You know that I am gifted in both Occlumency and Legilimency."

She nodded.

"What you don't know is that I was born a natural Legilimens and since the age of five have been able to hear all the thoughts around me."

Her mouth dropped open, and she looked at him in shock.

Uh oh.

"Uh oh is right. Yes, Hermione, I can hear your thoughts as well as every person in the castle and grounds. My mother taught me how to block everything out so it didn't drive me mad. All those voices… all the time… It's overwhelming."

"I can only imagine," Hermoine said finally. "How did you keep it from Voldemort?"

"I sealed my ability off. When I pledged my service to Dumbledore I did so. At the time, the Dark Lord wasn't very interested in me except for what I could do with Potions so he'd never noticed my ability."

"So, wait. You can turn it on and off?"

"Something like that. It's sort of like a wall I erect in my mind that keeps things out. I can still use the spell to read minds like I did when teaching Potter, but the constant barrage doesn't come."

"So, you've basically been Occluding all of that since you were what… twenty years old?"

"I did so until the Dark Lord fell the first time. I felt it would be safe to let my gift be open at that point. When Potter and you came to the school, I closed my mind again. Albus had said that with Potter's arrival, the Dark Lord wouldn't be far behind. It wasn't until I was in the hospital recovering after the Dark Lord's defeat that I let my walls down, slowly readjusting to the noisy world I live in."

"Wow, how do you do it, sir?"

"As I said, my mum taught me coping techniques. Most of the time, everything is just a low buzz in my head. I can pay attention when I want to or need to."

Hermione gulped. Oh no, he knows how I feel!

Severus' lips thinned as fear gripped him. It was time to let the cat out of the bag.

"I do know how you feel."

He sat silently for a minute, letting Hermione absorb the fact that he'd just read her thoughts and that he was well aware that she fancied him. She looked down at her lap.

"I'm so embarrassed. I'm sorry. You must be revolted…"

"Hermione…"

"I swear, I won't…"

"Hermione…"

She stopped talking but didn't look at him.

"Hermione, please look at me."

She slowly lifted her head, her eyes looking intensely puzzled as she realized he had been calling her by her first name the entire time they'd been talking.

"I will admit, I was quite surprised to hear your thoughts about me during the Welcoming Feast, but I was not revolted in the least. In fact, despite my consternation about it, I was very… very… intrigued. When you asked to be tutored I thought, like you, it would be a good way to get to know one another."

He stopped speaking for a minute and just looked at her. She was staring at him incredulously.

"No, seriously. I wanted to learn more about you. I find that I am attracted to you, too. I wanted to ask you if you would consider… dating."

Her head tilted as she regarded him. "You want to… date… me?"

"I believe that's what I just said."

"But… how could we… I'm your student… You are… how could you be interested in me?"

Severus stood and came around the desk. He moved in front of her and knelt down.

"I am interested in you because you are lovely. You're brilliant, funny, wicked scary when you want to be, and you don't suffer fools. I love those qualities in you. Just because there's an age gap between us doesn't mean that we aren't compatible."

"I'm your student, Professor. How could we…"

"There is nothing in the charter against relationships among consenting adults, no matter what their status is."

"So, you wouldn't get in trouble?"

He ignored the apprehension welling within him and reached out, taking her hand.

"I would not."

Hermione looked down at their hands clasped together.

"And you truly want to be with me?"

He smirked at her. "I do."

She looked up at him. "That would be lovely," she acknowledged. "What do we do now?"

Leaning in toward her, his lips captured hers. He kissed her slowly, tentatively asking her permission. Hermione gasped as his lips touched hers, but then she, too, began kissing him. Severus gained courage and began to kiss her the way he truly wanted to, showering her with affection as he begged entrance from her lips. She opened up to him and their tongues danced with one another as Hermione's hand crept up into his hair and wrapped her fingers in it.

Pure bliss.

He didn't want to end it, but he needed to breathe. Pulling back slightly, he looked at Hermione, who was looking back with a satisfied grin on her face.

"Now that we've kissed, did you change your mind about dating me?" he asked.

He looked at her shyly, afraid of the answer to his question. Perhaps his kiss wasn't as memorable as he'd felt hers was. Perhaps she'd say no, she didn't want to date him. Perhaps…

"Don't be silly, of course not!" Hermione exclaimed.

"You're sure?" he asked again.

"Absolutely. I'm actually even more excited to date you after that kiss. It was wonderful."

He smiled at her then.

"Good. Would you go to London with me tomorrow? We can get a meal; do whatever you want, really."

He waited with bated breath.

"I'd love to," she said rather quickly… almost breathlessly.

He smiled then, relief filling him that this first step had been taken and accepted.

"I'll meet you in the Entrance Hall at noon," he murmured.

"Sounds perfect," she said.

His eyes roved over her face. "You'd best go or I might not let you leave, and you do have classes to attend."

He moved back so she could stand, and soon followed suit.

"I'll see you later, and definitely tomorrow," Hermione said as she moved away from him and to his door.

Turning back, she winked at him. "Bye."

"Bye," he murmured quietly.

He couldn't believe that had gone so well. Reaching his mind out to her, he was relieved to feel that she was as elated as he was. Maybe this would work out. Maybe he could have a life that was filled with love from someone he felt strongly about. He hoped that Hermione was that person.

_____________________
Severus met Hermione in the Entrance Hall, and they were on their way. He took her arm and Apparated them to London.

"I wanted to stay away from Wizarding London if that's okay?" he said as they looked around.

"Sounds perfect."

"Where do you want to go?" he asked.

"I grew up not far from this area. There's a nice cafe a couple of blocks away from here. Let's go there."

Severus extended his hand. "Lead the way," he said simply.

They set off, and soon they found themselves at the cafe seated by a window that looked out on the street.

"Isn't this neighborhood cute?" Hermione asked. "I used to come here with my mum."

"It is quaint," Severus agreed.

"Where did you grow up?" Hermione asked.

Severus grimaced. "In a small town up north called Cokeworth. It was a factory town… quite depressed."

"Did you like living there?"

"Merlin, no. It was vile."

"I'm sorry to hear that. I have fond memories of growing up in Hampstead and coming here often."

Severus nodded. He noted Hermione was flooded with memories of her parents. He looked at her curiously.

"You seem sad about your parents."

She sighed. "I Obliviated them before we went on the run. I was able to restore their memories, but our relationship has suffered. They stayed in Australia, where they moved once I replaced their memories."

"That's very intricate magic, Hermione."

"I know. I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to return their memories, but it actually went very well."

"I'm sorry you aren't close anymore. Hopefully, things will change with time."

"Molly said that a parent never truly gives up on their child. I hope she's right."

"I'm sure that in most cases she is."

"You have a different experience?"

"My father was a horrid man who hated everything around him, including my mother and me. He gave up on us long before I could even talk."

Hermione reached her hand out to him. He gazed down at it before tentatively reaching out and grasping it. She smiled at him, and he gave a small smile back. Shaking his head, he continued.

"I'm sorry. I've become maudlin. We are here to enjoy ourselves."

She squeezed his hand. "I don't mind talking about your family."

"No, how about we change the subject? What are you planning on doing once you graduate?"

Hermione opened her mouth, but then closed it again. Severus raised an eyebrow at her.

"You'll think I'm overly ambitious."

"Will I?"

Chuckling, she shook her head at him. "I think you probably will."

He leaned in toward her. "Try me."

Their meals came at that point and were placed in front of them. They ignored them completely as they were absorbed in the conversation.

Hermione bit her lip before continuing. "I want to be the Minister for Magic," she said finally. "Not right now," she said as she raised her hand to stave off anything Severus might wish to say. "For now, I want to do more than just be an Auror. I want to have a position at the Ministry and make a difference."

"Like what?" Severus asked.

She released his hand and sat back. "Kingsley has been talking about the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures."

He smiled then. "That sounds like something that you would enjoy."

Hermione nodded. "I do too. I keep thinking about it during classes, you know?"

"So, why did you think I would find you overambitious?"

She shrugged. "I want to be the Minister. How much more overambitious can you get?"

"Touche."

They both smiled at one another.

"To be honest, I think starting in that department is the best idea. You can get to know people and form alliances which will help you to move up. One thing to note, Hermione, I don't think Kingsley is ready to leave his position any time soon."

She nodded. "I know, and I'm honestly not ready for that yet. By the time he's ready to go, I'll be ready to take over the position."

The conversation quieted as they concentrated on their meals. Hermione sprinkled some malt vinegar on her fish and chips while Severus dug into his steak and kidney pie. They decided to share a chocolate cheesecake. Both of them grabbed forks and dug in.

"Mmm, Severus, this is so delicious."

Severus nodded as he took another bite.

"It is quite lovely," he said finally.

They soon finished and were heading out of the cafe. Hermione entwined her arm with his as they walked down the street. Moving into an alleyway, Severus Apparated them away. They appeared in another alleyway and Severus led her out into the main street.

"Are we going to the V&A?" Hermione asked as they headed toward the stately museum.

"I thought we could take in some culture," Severus acknowledged.

"Did you read my mind that I love art museums?" she asked.

"I may have picked that up from your thoughts," Severus admitted.

"Well…" She looked at the museum. "It's a perfect date."

Severus smirked at her and boldly kissed her on the cheek. She reddened, and he smirked again. Making their way into the museum, they spent the afternoon taking in the beauty of the artwork within.

"What do you think of this one?" Severus asked as they beheld a modernistic piece that was blue and purple. It looked like the artist had thrown the paint at the canvas.

She eyed it for a while before responding. "I'm sure it's supposed to be meaningful, but I honestly don't know. I do like the colors though, and how they meld into one another."

"Perhaps that is what you are supposed to get out of it."

"Well, what do you think of it?"

He arched a brow. "It's obvious that the blue is the ocean, the purple represents a life traveling the sea, searching for fulfillment. This yellow area here is that life finding completion."

Hermione's mouth dropped open. "How did you… how did you get all that from… that?" she asked in exasperation.

Severus leaned in and whispered in her ear.

"The gentleman over in the corner has been pontificating about it in his mind for the last five minutes."

"You are a cad, Severus Snape."

He moved back, smirking at her. She looked so put out, he couldn't help himself; he laughed. Folding her arms, she tapped her foot as she glared at him. He shrugged at her.

"I have to use what I was gifted with," he excused himself.

She glared for a minute longer before cracking a smile at him. Wrapping her arm in his, she tugged him along.

"Come on, oh mighty Legilimens. Let's move along."

Several hours later, they emerged from the museum, having grabbed a light dinner at the restaurant within. They Apparated back to the Castle. Appearing in Severus' sitting room, he released her.

"Severus, that was lovely. I can't imagine a better time."

"So, you will agree to future dates?" he asked.

She chuckled. "Of course!"

"Perfect."

Moving to her, his hands grasped her arms and he leaned in and kissed her. He felt her excitement at his kiss, which just encouraged him further. Intensifying the kiss, he pulled her closer. She wrapped her arms around him and wove her fingers into his hair as they enjoyed one another.

Finally breaking from her, he smiled.

"I will see you tomorrow," he told her.

She looked at him dreamily, and his heart burst within him. He wasn't used to women looking at him the way she was, and it electrified him.

"Good night, Hermione."

"Good night, Severus."

He watched her as she left. His mind met hers, and he was even more pleased to see that she had truly enjoyed herself and was looking forward to more time with him.

_____________________
They had been together for the entire school year, and with every new day, Severus fell more in love with Hermione Granger. He was completely content with their relationship. They sometimes had disagreements, but always came out of them respecting one another and understanding each other better. It was truly heavenly.

Severus was going through some paperwork for the Board of Governors when Hermione burst into his office looking troubled.

"Can we talk?" she asked him.

"Yes, of course. Let's go into my sitting room."

He led her through the wall concealing his private quarters.

"Hermione, is something wrong?"

She bit her lip as she looked at him plaintively.

"I'm… it's just that…"

He refrained from reading her mind. She had asked him not to do so in times like this, and he respected her wishes.

"Tell me," he urged.

"I love you… you know that."

He nodded.

"I am afraid, Severus."

"Of what?"

"That this is only a one-way feeling."

He pulled his head back and looked at her curiously. "What do you mean by that?"

"You know how I feel about you. You can read my thoughts… but I don't really know how you feel about me," Hermione said softly, a tear running down her face.

"My words aren't enough?"

"Sometimes words can't express what true feelings are."

She turned away.

"I'm being foolish. I'm sorry."

He reached out to her.

"You, Hermione Granger, are never foolish. You make a good point. I only need to concentrate on you to see that you… you love me. I can't believe that you do, but I cannot deny what's in your mind."

He took her shoulders and slowly turned her back toward him. He reached out and tilted her face up to his.

"I love you, too."

She frowned at him.

"Don't you believe me?"

"I do, but…"

"You can see for yourself," he offered.

"You mean, you would let me see your thoughts?"

"It's only fair, really."

"But you're so private. Severus, I couldn't."

He leaned in and placed a loving kiss on her lips. "I want you to."

"Really?"

"Really."

She looked into his eyes and concentrated on him.

"Legilimens," she whispered and was in his mind.

He brought his feelings for her to the forefront of his mind. After a minute, she gasped as she withdrew from him.

"It's overwhelming, Severus. Your love for me is… all-encompassing."

He pulled her to him and kissed her lovingly.

"That's what I feel when I search your feelings, my love. I want you to know I love you just as much as you do me."

She ran her finger down his cheek before leaning in and kissing him once again.

"I love you so much," she murmured after kissing him senseless.

He leaned in and captured her lips again. "I can't imagine my life without you, Hermione. I love you."

Pulling back, he looked deeply into her eyes. "Be mine forever? Marry me?"

Hermione gasped and gave a quick laugh. "Of course, I'll marry you."

"Right now?"

Her mouth dropped open.

"I…"

"We can wait if you'd like."

"You really mean it? How would we do this, Severus?"

"The Ministry does it all the time. We can just Apparate over and make it official. Of course…" He examined her thoughts. "You want your family there, don't you?"

Her lips thinned, and she nodded.

Severus leaned in and kissed her forehead. "Very well. We can do it in… how long will you need to arrange everything? How about a month?"

"That's really not a long time to plan a wedding."

He shrugged. "Does it need to be elaborate? A few friends… School is ending then; we can do it here on the Hogwarts grounds if you'd like. I bet Kingsley will officiate if we ask him nicely."

Hermione grinned widely. "Let's do it, Severus. Let's get married in a month!"

"Let's," he agreed before pulling her close and lavishing her with passionate kisses.

He had found true love. He'd let his guard down and opened his mind, and it had made him happier than he'd ever imagined he could be. Thank Merlin for Legilimency.