Gift for Sunnythirty3

[gelsey]

Gift for: sunnythirty3

From: windwingswrites

Title: Kisses and Consequences
Pairing: Snape, Neville, Trevor, Catherine Monvoisin
Rating:PG-ish.
Summary: Sunnythirty3 asked for something funny/schmexy involving Snape receiving gifts. I tried :)
Notes: Happy Christmas to everyone!


Catherine Monvoisin, the only portrait allowed in Severus Snape’s laboratory in Hogwarts, was swelling with anticipation. Snape’s presents, delivered by Winky, Catherine’s friend and gossip chum, were on his desk, and the Christmas morning in Monvoisin’s domain looked very promising.

Her laughing stock of the morning came in at eight o’clock sharp and immediately cast his patented ‘ugh’ glare at the pile.

She jumped impatiently.

“Well, open up!” she said, when Snape was about to go by.

“Curious?”

Catherine huffed.

Socks, from Professor Granger. Boring. More socks. McGonagall. Booooring. Something in green-and-silver wrapping and with Lucius’s seal that caused him to blush. Catherine snickered.

A bowl of honey. Snape dipped a finger in.

“That’s from Rhodes. They had embalmed Alexander the Great with it,” Catherine said innocently, as Snape’s fingers disappeared in his mouth. “Not with this, but it’s the same kind,” she added, seeing him get his wand out.

And then Snape grabbed it. Signed “Trevor”.

“What the-”

“From the future Missis Longbottom.”

Snape stared at the toad’s skin in his hands.

“What, too much Firewhiskey yesterday?”

“Talk.”

“Promise, you’ll hang Montespan next to me. I’m lonely.”

“Done.”

“You, Professor Longbottom, Firewhiskey, celebrating the holidays.”

“I remember that.”

“You got pissed, had a bet, you lost and had to kiss his toad. Apparently, Trevor is a girl. And a Princess.”

“At least she’s not future Missis Snape,” he muttered, gobsmacked.

“That, but you did swear to be a witness at their wedding.”

“??!!!”

“And their firstborn’s godfather, too.”