im beginning to wonder
is my life ever gonna get any better. i mean seriuosly things were ok with me and ryan. then shit started to hit the fan. me and ryan got into a huge fight and that got fucked up. then we start to fix things and brian comes along. im not saying that brian was a bad thing but sometimes im beginning to wish that he never came into my life. it certainly would have made things better now. then i have to end things with ryan and brian tells me that im a flat out bitch and he doesnt want to be with me. so for the past week ive felt like shit...trying to figure out how to fix things and im beginning to think that ive pushed him too far away. i sometimes just wish that i could go to sleep and not wake up for awhile. i know thats not a solution and im not saying that i want to kill myself but im just extremely sad. i seriously think that im heading into a state of depression. im just so sad all the time and i think about everything all the time. it may go away for a brief second then i remember it again and it just hurts more. i feel like...i dont know anymore.
tonight my grandpa signed a DNR for my grandma. they dont think that she will make it through the night. if i lose her i dont know what ill do. i know that it will be better for her but im selfish. i dont want her to leave me. im not ready to lose her.
tonight my grandpa signed a DNR for my grandma. they dont think that she will make it through the night. if i lose her i dont know what ill do. i know that it will be better for her but im selfish. i dont want her to leave me. im not ready to lose her.