fic: Poseidon, look at me
Poseidon, look at me
the hush sound, panic at the disco, cobra starship, the cab
G
this is set on the imaginary tour in my mind that i'm fairly sure never happened. also: it's stupid.
They had a conversation a while ago, about whether pirates or ninjas were more awesome, so Greta feels like she is being entirely relevant when she stretches, pushes her sunglasses onto the top of her head so she can look at Bob properly, and says, “We should be pirates for a day.”
“We absolutely should,” Bob agrees. Bob has his eyes shut and his head tilted up as though he's sunbathing, which, as Greta has come to learn over the years, is not the wisest thing a man of Bob's complexion can do. He's possibly not listening, but Greta takes his agreement seriously anyway.
Later that evening, on the bus when she's watching Chris rub after-sun into the back of Bob's shoulders, she repeats her point to the whole band. “We should be pirates for the day,” she says firmly, and adds, “We could make hats.”
“None of us has a parrot,” Darren points out.
It's a good point, but not one to get hung up on. “Bob can be our parrot,” she suggests. “He has beautiful plumage.”
“Bob can be our parrot,” Bob repeats, “he has,” and then he stops and winces, because Chris is laughing and accidentally puts too much pressure on Bob's pink, tender skin.
-
The next place they stop at overnight isn't near any body of water, but the place after that is, and the weather stays hot enough for Greta to go over to the The Cab's van, knock on the door, wait for Singer to answer and say, “We're renting boats! You guys are obliged to join us.”
“Okay,” Singer says, easily enough.
“Okay,” Greta says. She doesn't tell him that they're going to be pirates, because half of the Cab thought that ninjas were better, and Greta is not going to deny that ninjas do have their good aspects, but if they're that good she thinks they can work it out for themselves. “Tell everybody,” she adds, and heads back to her own bus.
They spend a lot of time travelling, on tour, and they've spent the time recently constructing hats out of construction paper, glue and sharpies. Greta's kind of sad that they haven't found any feathers yet, but they've got an hour or so until they rent the boats out. She's confident they could yet be lucky.
-
The boats turn out to be paddle boats. Greta is delighted, and equally delighted that the rest of her band seem just as pleased; Darren holds his cardboard sword high up in the air above his head, signalling their glory.
The Cab, collectively, look somewhat baffled, either by the paddle boats or by The Hush Sound's amazing skill at arts and crafts. Ian looks as though he's the first one to get it, though, which doesn't particularly surprise Greta.
“Who else is coming?” she asks, and she sees Cash's mouth twitch as though he's about to make a joke about that. Thankfully, they're spared by the appearance of Panic at the Disco, emerging from over the top of a hill as though they're emerging from the fog and not bright, glaring sunshine. Greta eyes them critically. They look sort of like pirates, she supposes. The vests are a big help, although mostly, she thinks that's just how Ryan likes to dress.
“Paddle boats!” Brendon says, when they're closer. “Fucking sweet!”
“Nice hats,” Ryan adds, with a slow nod in their direction, and Greta feels a faint spark of pride. Ryan Ross is basically the expert on hats. It's good to have his approval.
Greta wonders if they're stoned, and then, probably more accurately, just how stoned they are. She thinks that watching them try to pedal and work out how to manoeuvre will be good in any case.
-
They're all out on the water by the time Cobra show up, partly because the Cobras seem to manage to do the fashionably late thing most of the time without ever getting annoying, and partly because no one was sure if anyone else was actually coming or not anyway and it seemed pointless to hang around.
Greta, at the time, is urging Bob to pedal faster in an attempt to overtake Ryan and Spencer. They're surprisingly fast, considering how spindly Ryan's legs are. She suspects it has something to do with the secret telepathic link she's convinced they have, but sees no reason for this to give them an advantage. She hopes that the arrival of Cobra Starship will distract them.
Land is quite far away by this point, and she squints through the sunshine. All she can make out is four very tall figures and one much shorter one, but if she squints even more she thinks she can almost make out a hat, before Singer and Marshall get in the way, chasing futilely after Chris and Darren.
The hat looks like it might possibly be a very distinctive, very pirate-like shape. Greta appreciates Cobra Starship. “Back towards land!” she says, and points in that direction with her own cardboard sword. It's beginning to look a little worse for wear, drooping towards the end, because the art of the Paddle boats is one that causes a lot of splashing. Bob stops pedalling.
“Do you know how to turn around?” he asks as they stop moving and float in place. It's a good question. Greta does not appreciate it.
“Greta Salpeter!” she hears Gabe yell from the shore, “my pirate queen!”
“We'll figure it out,” she says confidently.
-
Turning around in a paddle boat proves to be surprisingly complicated. They master it by observing Brendon and Jon - Jon appears to find dangling his bare feet in the cool water far more enjoyable than pedalling at the same rate Brendon is, and as a result they drift around in slow, lazy circles.
Greta is somewhat incensed, then, when they get to the land just in time to hear Gabe declaring a war on everybody in the name of partying and the cobra. “That's treason,” she points out. “I'm shocked! And I'm never lending you any of my books again. You're going to be sorry, Saporta.”
Gabe looks surprised, but then waves it off and follows Victoria to a boat. He's wearing shorts that look as though they're made of less material than Bob's old lifeguard shorts, and he wore those years ago.
Greta swears revenge, far above that which she ever intended to show the ninja supporters, and right after she's helped Bob rub the sun cream into his shoulders to stop him turning a brighter shade of pink, she will exact it in a terrible and fearsome manner and everybody will help her because everybody is still annoyed after Gabe and Ryland's prank with the ice cubes and underwear.
Cobras, she thinks smugly, after all, are not water snakes.
the hush sound, panic at the disco, cobra starship, the cab
G
this is set on the imaginary tour in my mind that i'm fairly sure never happened. also: it's stupid.
They had a conversation a while ago, about whether pirates or ninjas were more awesome, so Greta feels like she is being entirely relevant when she stretches, pushes her sunglasses onto the top of her head so she can look at Bob properly, and says, “We should be pirates for a day.”
“We absolutely should,” Bob agrees. Bob has his eyes shut and his head tilted up as though he's sunbathing, which, as Greta has come to learn over the years, is not the wisest thing a man of Bob's complexion can do. He's possibly not listening, but Greta takes his agreement seriously anyway.
Later that evening, on the bus when she's watching Chris rub after-sun into the back of Bob's shoulders, she repeats her point to the whole band. “We should be pirates for the day,” she says firmly, and adds, “We could make hats.”
“None of us has a parrot,” Darren points out.
It's a good point, but not one to get hung up on. “Bob can be our parrot,” she suggests. “He has beautiful plumage.”
“Bob can be our parrot,” Bob repeats, “he has,” and then he stops and winces, because Chris is laughing and accidentally puts too much pressure on Bob's pink, tender skin.
-
The next place they stop at overnight isn't near any body of water, but the place after that is, and the weather stays hot enough for Greta to go over to the The Cab's van, knock on the door, wait for Singer to answer and say, “We're renting boats! You guys are obliged to join us.”
“Okay,” Singer says, easily enough.
“Okay,” Greta says. She doesn't tell him that they're going to be pirates, because half of the Cab thought that ninjas were better, and Greta is not going to deny that ninjas do have their good aspects, but if they're that good she thinks they can work it out for themselves. “Tell everybody,” she adds, and heads back to her own bus.
They spend a lot of time travelling, on tour, and they've spent the time recently constructing hats out of construction paper, glue and sharpies. Greta's kind of sad that they haven't found any feathers yet, but they've got an hour or so until they rent the boats out. She's confident they could yet be lucky.
-
The boats turn out to be paddle boats. Greta is delighted, and equally delighted that the rest of her band seem just as pleased; Darren holds his cardboard sword high up in the air above his head, signalling their glory.
The Cab, collectively, look somewhat baffled, either by the paddle boats or by The Hush Sound's amazing skill at arts and crafts. Ian looks as though he's the first one to get it, though, which doesn't particularly surprise Greta.
“Who else is coming?” she asks, and she sees Cash's mouth twitch as though he's about to make a joke about that. Thankfully, they're spared by the appearance of Panic at the Disco, emerging from over the top of a hill as though they're emerging from the fog and not bright, glaring sunshine. Greta eyes them critically. They look sort of like pirates, she supposes. The vests are a big help, although mostly, she thinks that's just how Ryan likes to dress.
“Paddle boats!” Brendon says, when they're closer. “Fucking sweet!”
“Nice hats,” Ryan adds, with a slow nod in their direction, and Greta feels a faint spark of pride. Ryan Ross is basically the expert on hats. It's good to have his approval.
Greta wonders if they're stoned, and then, probably more accurately, just how stoned they are. She thinks that watching them try to pedal and work out how to manoeuvre will be good in any case.
-
They're all out on the water by the time Cobra show up, partly because the Cobras seem to manage to do the fashionably late thing most of the time without ever getting annoying, and partly because no one was sure if anyone else was actually coming or not anyway and it seemed pointless to hang around.
Greta, at the time, is urging Bob to pedal faster in an attempt to overtake Ryan and Spencer. They're surprisingly fast, considering how spindly Ryan's legs are. She suspects it has something to do with the secret telepathic link she's convinced they have, but sees no reason for this to give them an advantage. She hopes that the arrival of Cobra Starship will distract them.
Land is quite far away by this point, and she squints through the sunshine. All she can make out is four very tall figures and one much shorter one, but if she squints even more she thinks she can almost make out a hat, before Singer and Marshall get in the way, chasing futilely after Chris and Darren.
The hat looks like it might possibly be a very distinctive, very pirate-like shape. Greta appreciates Cobra Starship. “Back towards land!” she says, and points in that direction with her own cardboard sword. It's beginning to look a little worse for wear, drooping towards the end, because the art of the Paddle boats is one that causes a lot of splashing. Bob stops pedalling.
“Do you know how to turn around?” he asks as they stop moving and float in place. It's a good question. Greta does not appreciate it.
“Greta Salpeter!” she hears Gabe yell from the shore, “my pirate queen!”
“We'll figure it out,” she says confidently.
-
Turning around in a paddle boat proves to be surprisingly complicated. They master it by observing Brendon and Jon - Jon appears to find dangling his bare feet in the cool water far more enjoyable than pedalling at the same rate Brendon is, and as a result they drift around in slow, lazy circles.
Greta is somewhat incensed, then, when they get to the land just in time to hear Gabe declaring a war on everybody in the name of partying and the cobra. “That's treason,” she points out. “I'm shocked! And I'm never lending you any of my books again. You're going to be sorry, Saporta.”
Gabe looks surprised, but then waves it off and follows Victoria to a boat. He's wearing shorts that look as though they're made of less material than Bob's old lifeguard shorts, and he wore those years ago.
Greta swears revenge, far above that which she ever intended to show the ninja supporters, and right after she's helped Bob rub the sun cream into his shoulders to stop him turning a brighter shade of pink, she will exact it in a terrible and fearsome manner and everybody will help her because everybody is still annoyed after Gabe and Ryland's prank with the ice cubes and underwear.
Cobras, she thinks smugly, after all, are not water snakes.