walking out in the rain
last night i was drinking beers and we came back to my house to play dance dance revolution. i made french 75's and they were perfect. i just wish we could have been drinking them out of spent shot gun shells. all of a sudden i wasted and i was talking to alex wanna and i told him i had to go but i forgot why i had to go and i laid on the floor for a while in my sisters bathroom, because i didn't want to use the main bathroom, there were like 10 people at my house (including those of us who live here). i was too dizzy to fall asleep so i took a super hot shower and almost fell asleep there. then i went to bed all embaressed, but my sister said everyone said i was an awesome hostess up until the point where i disappeared and she brought me a towel to use.
it was storming all night but i never woke up. serious hail and green lightening. i was having these dreams where i was drunk or something and traveling. there was this house like my house but different and there was a shrine in a suitcase to someone who was dead, an uncle of someone i knew but barely. i was in love with 2 people and feeling uncomfartable and didn't know who to go to and we were driving and ray was hitch hiking so we picked him up. at the house there were all these people, i think friends of mine. it was dark but for lights hanging around the suitcase. i poured wine into a flowervase and we were drinking wine i think.
i remember feeling like something had made a discision for me and ray and i went to bed and i was really conscious of the way his body moved underneathe me as he breathed. i think we were on the second story of the house. i got up and walked down the hall to get something and got dizzy and went back to bed.
the whole reminded me of an ani difranco song, but i'd prefer not to say which one.
i woke up and it was cold so i pulled my blanket up more. i remembered this time i had a nightmare and started crying and ray touched my hair which was nice because it's good to be comforted but when people touch me after i've had nightmares it makes me feel sick, it was like an inbetween. i went back to sleep and had more dreams i don't remember.
i got up and made coffee but threw up my ice water and felt dizzy so i left the coffee out with a banana next it and my roommate snoring.
it was storming all night but i never woke up. serious hail and green lightening. i was having these dreams where i was drunk or something and traveling. there was this house like my house but different and there was a shrine in a suitcase to someone who was dead, an uncle of someone i knew but barely. i was in love with 2 people and feeling uncomfartable and didn't know who to go to and we were driving and ray was hitch hiking so we picked him up. at the house there were all these people, i think friends of mine. it was dark but for lights hanging around the suitcase. i poured wine into a flowervase and we were drinking wine i think.
i remember feeling like something had made a discision for me and ray and i went to bed and i was really conscious of the way his body moved underneathe me as he breathed. i think we were on the second story of the house. i got up and walked down the hall to get something and got dizzy and went back to bed.
the whole reminded me of an ani difranco song, but i'd prefer not to say which one.
i woke up and it was cold so i pulled my blanket up more. i remembered this time i had a nightmare and started crying and ray touched my hair which was nice because it's good to be comforted but when people touch me after i've had nightmares it makes me feel sick, it was like an inbetween. i went back to sleep and had more dreams i don't remember.
i got up and made coffee but threw up my ice water and felt dizzy so i left the coffee out with a banana next it and my roommate snoring.