shit i took from a forum
GnR valentine
This is a true story of something that happened to me several yesterdays ago
when I was still in High School. Back in the days of my youth I sort of lived a
reckless life. I was sitting in Mr. Brownstone’s class, listening to a
lecture about the Civil War. My teacher had a bad obsession with the details,
and my patience was wearing thin. I felt as though I was going to have a
breakdown when suddenly an idea popped in my head.
There was this girl in my class that looked so fine. I passed a note to my
Michelle asking if she would skip school with me after this class. I told her
we would take my locomotive to the paradise city. “Your crazy” she wrote
back. “This class ain’t no Garden of Eden, but we’d have 14 years in
detention if we were caught. Besides, I only like nice boys. And don’t you
like Betty Lou Sue?” I had to reassure her. I wrote back saying; “it’s so
easy to leave school without getting into trouble. No one will be out ta get
me, or you. All of the teachers and hall monitors are pretty tied up. Just take
the back door out of the cafeteria and slip into the garden. And I used to go
with Betty Lou Sue, I used to love her, but that’s over now ” I replied.
After a moments thought, this sweet child ‘o mine agreed.
The bell rang. “All set, anything goes, it’s now or never” I said. At
first, all went according plan, and it was like the perfect crime. Then trouble
started. Halfway down the express way my car broke down. I called AAA and had
it towed to Steven and Gilby’s Autoshop. The mechanics told me that there
were major problems with the car. It appeared that the axl was broken and the
front tire had a big slash in it. They didn’t know how expensive it was going
to be to fix. I had little money on me. I couldn’t call my parents. Michelle
was upset. “How are you going to pay for this, how are we going to get
back?” “Don’t cry, just have a little patience” I said. Then suddenly,
I had an idea.
I saw a sign in front of a boxing ring that said “GET IN THE RING, EARN
$$$!!!” The mechanics and Michelle thought I was crazy to do it, but we
needed a way to get home. I knew I could win. I would live and let die, my
opponent die, that is.
Inside the ring looked as though it was located right next door to hell. There
was this old creepy guy who paid all fighters. Here was the deal, ten dollars
for every one round. My opponent, “the Rocket Queen” looked freighting. He
screamed at me from his corner, “Welcome to my world. Your gonna be one dead
horse when I’m through with you. After one round, you’ll be in a coma,
after two rounds, you’ll be nothing but dust n’ bones, and after three
rounds, ‘you’ll be knock, knock, knockin’ on heavens door.” Michelle
was giving me encouragement, but “the Rocket Queen” shouted to her “back
off bitch. When I’m beating this fool up, I’m gonna think about you. You
could be mine after I’m through with this guy” That made me mad, real mad.
“Don’t damn me I said.” Then I heard the sound of the bell. “The Rocket
Queen” looked at me with eyes of the bluest skies and said “welcome to the
jungle, your gonna die.”
I don’t recollect what happened next. I woke up in my corner in a pool of
blood. Michelle was gone. The creepy guy that set up the fights was asking for
my mama kin, because he must have thought I was dead. I asked for my money but
he refused. “You didn’t even make one round, but don’t feel too bad, you
ain’t the first punk that “The Rocket Queen” has taken down in under 15
seconds” he said. So the double talkin’ jive didn’t pay up.
As I left the ring I started to feel very estranged. All I had eaten that day
was some bad apples so I felt sick. Then, to top it all off, a storm set in.
But the cold November rain felt good against my wounds. I didn’t know what to
do. Then suddenly, I saw Michelle. “I thought you left me,” I said, but she
explained she had only taken the nightrain into town in order to pawn a ring.
She did it to help pay for my car, but it was no where near enough.
We went into a local dinner “The Shotgun Blues” and thought about what to
do next. They must have thought I was 21 because they served me a nice cold
Duff Beer. In my wallet, I felt a dollar. I had an idea. I went over to the
counter and bought a scratch ticket. “Imagine if I win, this will pay for my
car.” Michelle was not optimistic. “You’ll never win, The chances are one
in a million” she said. I tried my luck, and sure enough, I won ten million
dollars. We made a move to the city and lived happily ever after, then end.
i think i managed to find all the GnR refs