(no subject)
i feel constantly embarrassed by things i do. sometimes i am not even sure what i did, but i think, "well, i must've done something embarrassing recently!" and then the uneasiness starts creeping its way all over my body! sometimes it will start in the limbs, tingly and especially sneaky. other times, it will bam! pound the inside of my chest or gut and spread quickly and violently until no part of me is free.
i need a doctor that will overreact! i am tired of being treated like all of my pain is in my head. last night i could not get to sleep because of my knees.
sometimes i think it would be nice to be described as a "level-headed" kind of girl (woman!), but i know that i cannot pull it off! i am forever emotional. i just ooze emotion. it often reminds me of a very infected wound. that is certainly the way i mean "ooze."
i would like to sleep outside.
i am making a mask (possibly something else if it doesn't work out) of pinecones. i am taking them apart and sewing them back together. it is a pleasant process. i mean, except for my fingers...
