haha i love this episode
Neurotically Yours: Episode # 057: Tech-Support
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Foamy: Yeah, Tech Support? I'm having a problem with my Smell-brand computer and need a bit of help here. This fucker's acting up like a troubled child on crack.
Tech Support: Hello. What seems to be the trouble?
Foamy: Well, it seems in my tinkering I went into the DOS program and it changed a 1 to a 0. Now it won't even start up. What do I do oh Guru-of-Computer-Wisdom?
Tech Support: Have you tried with starting your computer?
Foamy: Yes. And it doesn't restart.
Tech Support: Is your computer plugged in? That is very much common mistake.
Foamy: Wha-What kind of fuckin stupid question is that? Yes. It's plugged in. Don't. Jerk me around. This fuckin operating system is as unstable as Charles Manson and I. NEED. HELP.
Tech Support: Is your monitor on? Another mistake.
Foamy: Dumbass. It doesn't. Start. Up.
Tech Support: What is your operating system, the system that you are operating?
Foamy: It's one of those Whine-dows operating systems, y'know?
Tech Support: Very good. Do you like the ice cream?
Foamy: Wha..what?
Tech Support: DO YOU LIKE ICE CREAM?!
Foamy: What the? HELP ME! STOP ASKING DUMB QUESTIONS AND TELL ME WHAT TO DO!......HELLO?......HELLO!?!
Tech Support: I will help, yes. Here is what you do: You hold down the following keys: W...F...the number 2..the spacebar..while typing out "Genisia is great" and typing on the escape key for 20 minutes.
Foamy: ...*flips them off*
Tech Support: So how's the weather there?
Foamy: Oh geez..here we go. Fine.
Tech Support: It is hot here. Like a cow on fire.
Foamy: Oh yeah? Where are you, Florida or California?
Tech Support: I'm in India.
Foamy: India? Wait..do you mean, like, Indiana?
Tech Support: No, India.
Foamy: Wait a second. You're in INDIA?
Tech Support: I just said that!
Foamy: What the fuck?! Why am I talking to someone in India about my computer that was made in Japan and bought in America?
Tech Support: The Smell computer company has moved their tech support headquarters to India because it be cheaper.
Foamy: Nice, great. Well, why the fuck am I paying for first-rate tech support from a 3rd-world country?
Tech Support: You American bastards are only paying me $20 a week.
Foamy: $20 a week? Damn. You're getting ripped off, dude. Tech support here gets that an hour.
Tech Support: My god, you're all bastards!
Foamy: Hey. We're discussing my computer here. Not your slave wages. Pay attention. FOCUS.
Tech Support: Oh, very sorry. How is your computer today?
Foamy: Broken, jackass. Broken. Wait- Can I ask you a question? Why if I just boot the computer up through the installer disk and have it rewrite the file I messed with?
Tech Support: Yes, I guess you could do that.
Foamy: Oh yeah, great. You've been a big fucking help.
Tech Support: Thank you for using Smell Computer Tech Support. Please tell your friends.
Foamy: Damn foreign outsourcing.
....
Foamy: Keep the jobs in the U.S. so I can understand who I'm talking to. You fucking bastards.
Copyright: Jonathan Ian Mathers: 2004.
www.illwillpress.com
___________________________________
Foamy: Yeah, Tech Support? I'm having a problem with my Smell-brand computer and need a bit of help here. This fucker's acting up like a troubled child on crack.
Tech Support: Hello. What seems to be the trouble?
Foamy: Well, it seems in my tinkering I went into the DOS program and it changed a 1 to a 0. Now it won't even start up. What do I do oh Guru-of-Computer-Wisdom?
Tech Support: Have you tried with starting your computer?
Foamy: Yes. And it doesn't restart.
Tech Support: Is your computer plugged in? That is very much common mistake.
Foamy: Wha-What kind of fuckin stupid question is that? Yes. It's plugged in. Don't. Jerk me around. This fuckin operating system is as unstable as Charles Manson and I. NEED. HELP.
Tech Support: Is your monitor on? Another mistake.
Foamy: Dumbass. It doesn't. Start. Up.
Tech Support: What is your operating system, the system that you are operating?
Foamy: It's one of those Whine-dows operating systems, y'know?
Tech Support: Very good. Do you like the ice cream?
Foamy: Wha..what?
Tech Support: DO YOU LIKE ICE CREAM?!
Foamy: What the? HELP ME! STOP ASKING DUMB QUESTIONS AND TELL ME WHAT TO DO!......HELLO?......HELLO!?!
Tech Support: I will help, yes. Here is what you do: You hold down the following keys: W...F...the number 2..the spacebar..while typing out "Genisia is great" and typing on the escape key for 20 minutes.
Foamy: ...*flips them off*
Tech Support: So how's the weather there?
Foamy: Oh geez..here we go. Fine.
Tech Support: It is hot here. Like a cow on fire.
Foamy: Oh yeah? Where are you, Florida or California?
Tech Support: I'm in India.
Foamy: India? Wait..do you mean, like, Indiana?
Tech Support: No, India.
Foamy: Wait a second. You're in INDIA?
Tech Support: I just said that!
Foamy: What the fuck?! Why am I talking to someone in India about my computer that was made in Japan and bought in America?
Tech Support: The Smell computer company has moved their tech support headquarters to India because it be cheaper.
Foamy: Nice, great. Well, why the fuck am I paying for first-rate tech support from a 3rd-world country?
Tech Support: You American bastards are only paying me $20 a week.
Foamy: $20 a week? Damn. You're getting ripped off, dude. Tech support here gets that an hour.
Tech Support: My god, you're all bastards!
Foamy: Hey. We're discussing my computer here. Not your slave wages. Pay attention. FOCUS.
Tech Support: Oh, very sorry. How is your computer today?
Foamy: Broken, jackass. Broken. Wait- Can I ask you a question? Why if I just boot the computer up through the installer disk and have it rewrite the file I messed with?
Tech Support: Yes, I guess you could do that.
Foamy: Oh yeah, great. You've been a big fucking help.
Tech Support: Thank you for using Smell Computer Tech Support. Please tell your friends.
Foamy: Damn foreign outsourcing.
....
Foamy: Keep the jobs in the U.S. so I can understand who I'm talking to. You fucking bastards.
Copyright: Jonathan Ian Mathers: 2004.
www.illwillpress.com