Ignorable philisophic ramblings
If you're wondering why this is ignorable, I just need a place to... Sort things out, so to say. There are very few times when I need to make realizations, however my entire being aches with the opening of what lies hidden. Here's hoping it works.
Lately I've had a crush on someone, no one you'd expect - and for those who know, it's more of a joke to them - but for me, these feelings I am harboring make me feel just a trifle bit better about life.
This isn't necessarily because of the fact that there's a possibility of our being together, matter of fact I highly doubt the possibility. It's a sort of solace, if that made any sense.
Loving someone just out of reach leaves no chance for expectation, no chance for all out rejection, no chance for heartbreak.
Quite some time ago I awkwardly approached this person with my confession, for no reason more than to let them know there was someone out there who cared for them. I felt that I came off as a creep or a stalker, but I'm not sure they felt that way, perhaps a bit unused to it, but not creeped out
We speak every so often, every chance I get I'll happily reply to them and it brightens my day.
Ah, rambling~ So to the point of this is why I'm so okay with what's going on. I'm under the impression that everyone has someone, I'm scared to death of never finding my person. It goes to the point where I refuse to go near anyone who could be my potential love. I dated one person all my life, couldn't for the life of me see myself staying with him for forever. The day I'd planned on breaking up with him, his friend told me he made out with some girl he knew for five hours. I never told him that I knew, and I never got upset about it.
I'm also scared to death of hurting someone by being so unfeeling during a breakup, because if I break up with them it means I can't see myself with them, but what if they really care for me? I'd be split in two... One side aching to find that one soul who coincides with mine, the other wanting to stay and protect the other from getting hurt. Perhaps that's half the realization I'm going for...
I just wish that for once life would go easy on me about something... Finding that person would be amazing, I'd sacrifice myself a thousand times, just to share one moment with them.
As for my current crush, I feel calm and as though I could just stand beside them forever happily.
Lately I've had a crush on someone, no one you'd expect - and for those who know, it's more of a joke to them - but for me, these feelings I am harboring make me feel just a trifle bit better about life.
This isn't necessarily because of the fact that there's a possibility of our being together, matter of fact I highly doubt the possibility. It's a sort of solace, if that made any sense.
Loving someone just out of reach leaves no chance for expectation, no chance for all out rejection, no chance for heartbreak.
Quite some time ago I awkwardly approached this person with my confession, for no reason more than to let them know there was someone out there who cared for them. I felt that I came off as a creep or a stalker, but I'm not sure they felt that way, perhaps a bit unused to it, but not creeped out
We speak every so often, every chance I get I'll happily reply to them and it brightens my day.
Ah, rambling~ So to the point of this is why I'm so okay with what's going on. I'm under the impression that everyone has someone, I'm scared to death of never finding my person. It goes to the point where I refuse to go near anyone who could be my potential love. I dated one person all my life, couldn't for the life of me see myself staying with him for forever. The day I'd planned on breaking up with him, his friend told me he made out with some girl he knew for five hours. I never told him that I knew, and I never got upset about it.
I'm also scared to death of hurting someone by being so unfeeling during a breakup, because if I break up with them it means I can't see myself with them, but what if they really care for me? I'd be split in two... One side aching to find that one soul who coincides with mine, the other wanting to stay and protect the other from getting hurt. Perhaps that's half the realization I'm going for...
I just wish that for once life would go easy on me about something... Finding that person would be amazing, I'd sacrifice myself a thousand times, just to share one moment with them.
As for my current crush, I feel calm and as though I could just stand beside them forever happily.